Virtual baseball: Yankees Rest on Laurels While World Descends Into Chaos. Tale of “Masque” in Tampa Sends Wall Street Into New Spiral.

From the mighty desk of HoraceClarke66 (whose computer hates Blogger) 

Now that our maximum leader has declared that we should stop worrying and learn to love the Covid, I am relieved to be able to resume reporting all events from this scary alternate universe in their full, grisly detail.

 

The Yankees were relieved to be back in New York and taking another day off, after their desperate battle to once and for all put down the 2020 Tampa Bay Rays.

 

But even as the baseball world crackled and hummed with their success, the stock market took a new nosedive following reports of the masked ball held in Tampa to raise funds for the Trump campaign, during an earlier off-day from the ALCS.

 

The event’s organizers had designed a gay and magnificent revel, a masked ball of the most unusual magnificence—at least, for anything held in the Tampa Dome. But at length there commenced the sounding of midnight, and many in the crowd had become aware of the presence of a masked figure which had arrested the attention of no single individual before.

 

There arose at length from the whole company a buzz, or murmur, of horror, and of disgust. The figure was tall, and shrouded from head to foot in the habiliments of the grave. The mask which concealed the visage was made so nearly to resemble the countenance of a stiffened corpse that the closest scrutiny must have difficult in detecting the cheat.

 

But the mummer had gone so far as to assume they type of the pangolin plague reported now in a growing number of cities. His vesture was dabbled in blood—and his broad brow was sprinkled with the scarlet horror.

 

One by one dropped the revelers, felled by fear, as this figure proceeded, with stately step all around the circuit of the vast pleasure dome. Until at last, some of them fearing that he must be a Democrat, a throng of the revelers, summoning the wild courage of despair, sought to throw themselves upon him—only to see him pull off his terrible mask at the final moment.

 

“Well who’d you think it was?” asked President Trump. “So do I win first prize for costume? This is a very good costume. The best, believe me. Hey, where’re those pangolin burgers? They’re delicious!”

 

Wall Street has yet to recover from the shock.