From the desk of HoraceClarke66
If
one New York team seems to be sinking beneath the virtual playoff waves,
another rallied in amazing fashion tonight, with the Mets, of all people,
pulling out the second game of the NLCS with two out and none on in the top of
the ninth.
After
Jeff McNeil drew a walk off Dodgers relief ace Kelsey Grammer, Brett Gardner
fought through a 13-pitch at-bat before slamming a long triple into the distant
precincts of Chavez Ravine.
It
looked as though Kelsey would still wriggle out of the inning with a tie, but
Jogginson Cano hit a little topper into the ground in front of home plate, and
somehow managed to beat the throw to first. In the bottom of the ninth, fellow
ex-Yank Dellin Betances, cool as a cucumber, worked out of a bases loaded jam
to tie the Series, with a 3-2 win.
Meanwhile,
Yankees GM Brian Cashman announced today that he is taking on extra bodyguards
because he is certain that “nefarious Russian operatives” are tracking him,
convinced that he has been using more than just a cheap pick-up line when he
tells people that, “The Yankees control the universe, and I control the Yankees.”
“They’re
after me! They think I have some special, secret power!” Cashman told
reporters, through the speakers of his special, Eagle Protection Helmet. “They
also keep stealing all the Legends Club strawberries!”
Asked
about the allegations, Russian strongman Vladimir Putin smiled enigmatically,
and said, “What would we want with little man in big helmet? Unless he does
control universe. In which case, he should move Yankees to Moscow, where we can
build them brand new stadium, seating capacity 200,000. Attendance mandatory.”
Asked
in turn about these comments, Hal Steinbrenner scoffed, “Well, I hardly think
we’re about to move to Moscow! You did say 200,000, right? And did he mention
anything about luxury suites, or TV rights? Hey, just doing my due diligence…”
Joe Morgan, RIP.
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