Big Garage Sale Wednesday December 2nd!

"Calling all Dumpster Divers, Rummage Sailors, Budget Conscious GMs and all manner of highly paid bottom feeders....

Are you looking for slightly used, lightly damaged, and highly collectable ballplayers to fill your team's Holiday Stocking? One team's trash is another team's treasure. Well then get ready for The Big Dump Wednesday December 2nd!" 

Yes, it's Non-Tender Day, and what could be less tender than telling a bunch of baseball players that your team no longer required their services just a few weeks before Christmas? 

Don't be sad!  

While this is a one way ticket to Palookaville for some it also a second chance (or third, fourth and fifth) chance for many, as GMs attempt to put a shine on a bull pen lug nut or offer some homeless outfielder a "change of scenery" as a way of convincing fans that this year will be different.

But amazingly, this year IS different. As we all know, baseball teams lost 30 bajillion dollars last year due to Covid 19.  The books don't lie. They also don't get seen, but the owners seem like an honest bunch so we can take their word for it.   

Lower tier teams who rely on their socialistic welfare checks from the "Haves" are going to find coal in their stocking, and I don't mean Gerrit!  Rich teams have the excuse they've been looking for to not spend. I heard a rumor that our own Gary Sanchez was being fitted for a Hefty Bag all his own. 

It's all so uncertain! 

Don't be sad!   

There is a silver trash can lining in all this. In an effort to save money, teams are dumping a much higher grade of player this year and, as we all know, nobody dives a dumpster like Hal! 

"I'm sure there's a number two starter in here somewhere... Maybe in this ratty cardboard box... OH MY GOD! IT'S A SEVERED HEAD!  No, it's Pedro Severino's head. He's a catcher for the Orioles. Whew! Let's clean this baby up and find him a glove."

(Writer's Note: When I first wrote this and realized I had set my self up for a severd/Severino joke I wanted to use Luis Severino.  However he will not be in the dumpster. He is recovering from Tommy John surgery and will join us by mid-year. 

Still, I had this Severed Head set up and it seemed a shame to just leave it there so I Googled "Severino Baseball" to see if there was anyone else and Pedro showed up in the results. I think he was the guy that had four passed balls in one game against us so maybe I'm being prescient.)

I'm going to watch the Giants/Bengals game and forget I wrote this.