The Yankee GM went dumpster-diving, signing a low-cost, Triple A, non-roster, colorfully named, positional depth piece from the vast recycling bins of MLB.
Let us welcome Socrates Brito, a 28-year-old LH corner OF who last graced a major league foul line in 2019, when he hit a measly .077 for Toronto over 17 games. He spent 2020 in limbo - at one point, infected with Covid, and, at another, tragically losing his brother to the virus. Let's give the guy some slack. He endured a brutal year.
In Brito's four-season MLB career, he hasn't hit for power, stolen many bases or matched his first glimpse of the big time: In 2015, summoned by Arizona for a cup of September coffee, he hit .303 over 18 games. Ever since, he's struggled.
That said, you seldom lose the silverware by giving hungry players a second shot. Brito is 28, and in 2019 showed a smattering of hope: He hit 16 HRs and batted .282 in the Jays'system. Any signing like this is a lottery ticket. And for every Gio Urshela and Luke Voit, there are five Zelous Wheelers and two Antoan Richardsons. Hey, you never know. A guy like Brito could appear from nowhere and win us a weekend. Somewhere in our hearts, we remember Dewayne Wise and smile.
And that is why The Master himself, John Sterling, is today popping his Daily News, pencil in hand, brainstorming. Seldom has a more fruitful name come his way. And he may only get one chance - perhaps in a spring game - at calling a Socrates Brito home run.
So, to grease The Master's treads, let's give it a go...
IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT... IS... GONE! OH, IT'S A SOCK FROM SOCRATES! TO SCORE, THE YANKEES WILL USE THE SOCRATIC METHOD: TOUCH 'EM ALL! THAT'S ONE PITCH THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE BRITO FILTER! WATCH CAREFULLY, MY DEAR HOME PLATO, BECAUSE HE'S GOING TO STEP ON YOU!
ReplyDeleteYou had me at the headline.
ReplyDeleteThank you also for the smile that followed the mere mention of Dewayne Wise's name.
Who will ever forget his catch (while playing for the White Sox) that caused the President of the United States to interrupt himself in the middle of an unrelated speech to reference "the catch that guy made yesterday to save the perfect game.".
One of the best parts is him smiling like a schoolboy when he realizes he's still got the ball at the very end of the clip.
Mercy.
ReplyDeleteReally liked Brito Filter. Not a lot of room left after that one.
For some reason I keep thinking Euripides pants, Eumendies pants. But that has nothing to do with the exercise. Neither does the Latin…
Ergo, Ergoing, Ergone!
Sigh.
I suppose that this might work…
It’s a Pita Party! Socrates is my gyro!
NOTE: The word gyro is not pronounced like a gyroscope it’s actually pronounced ee-ro in Greek. Hey, you don’t live on Ditmars Blvd. for a year and not learn something. Here’s a tip. Pronounce it right and they will give you extra meat!
Should comedy require footnotes? Asking for a friend.
Doug K.
All we need to do is draft Parker Plato out of Montesano High School, WA next....
ReplyDeleteJohn: "[Singing] SOCK IT TO ME, BABY! [Yelling] THE SWING OF BRITO ES MUY BONITO!"
ReplyDelete"Socrates himself is particularly missed.
ReplyDeleteA lovely little hitter but a bugger when he's pissed!"
“Socrates put that pitcher into a hemlock!”
ReplyDeleteAnother stiff brought in by Genius Cashman. This to go along with the stiff pitcher who has not pitched in the Majors since 2015. The Three Stooges, Cheapskate Hal, genius Cashman and Manager Kumbaya Boone, will run the Yankees into the toilet.
ReplyDeleteThis is the only good thing I've heard this week.
ReplyDeleteDIE HAL!!! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!!
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