Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Railriders Report: First Night in Syracuse, which rhymes with "No Excuse"

Last night, the Syracuse Chiefs, Skychiefs, Your Name Heres, Mets entertained the Railriders of Scranton - aka "the Yankees of the future" - (Note: That's a joke.) As is customary, our IT IS HIGH Forensic Prospects Evaluation Team received nothing less than the finest seats in the house. 

That's Cool Healed Luke Voit preparing to launch the 2021 season. And launch he did, on the first pitch, a 400 -foot moon beam to center, for a jogging double. (Luke went 2-3 on the night.) He looks ready at the plate, but played DH, which means no current path to Gotham. 

Last night, the Scrantonian lineup featured no legitimate, up-and-coming, hot prospect. Not one. You might argue that 1B Chris Gittens (age 27) and SS Kyle Holder (26) are still "rising" - neither has yet played in the majors. That's as close as we'll get to ascending youth. (Deivi Garcia is in the rotation, so there's that.) From top to bottom, the Railriders feature spare parts, aging hopefuls and rehabs. 

A few observations...

1. Holder, the well-touted defensive whiz, booted his first grounder of the year. He also went 0-4. But but but... before you say Zolio Almonte!, I can see why people who are not publicists talk up his glove. He plays a graceful SS, charging nubbers and ranging left and right. He made several nice plays, not highlight reels, but enough to show something. If Gleyber fails at SS, Holder can provide defense. For whatever it's worth, he bats LH. 

2. The night's hardest blast came from Socrates Brito - a liner that never rose higher than 30 feet before clearing the right-center all. The CF barely turned around. Brito went 2-4 and provided the only Railrider offense. He too bats left. Something tells me that we'll see him in the Bronx before this year is over.

3. Great to see Miguel Andujar in LF. Not much happened out there; he wasn't challenged - and Miggy went 0-4. But in his first at bat, he lashed a liner at the SS - so hard they nearly doubled Luke off second base. Let's hope...

4. The Yankee starter was 31-year-old Mike Montgomery, a lefty lug nut, who will probably spot-start for us at some point this summer. (Two Montgomerys in the rotation.) He lasted into the fifth, gave up three and basically survived on guile. He peaked in 2017 but has pitched in the majors for six years. He's a moose, 6'5".

5. Nick Goody has returned home. He finished in the ninth. Two strike outs and a pop-up. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...

And then there was the Yankee game, which Alphonso monitored from his orbiting pod-bar in outer space. All night, I received updates, ranging from troubling to outright fury.  


To receive Alphonsian updates is to believe the Yankees are losing by 12. This is my world. 

Final note: Did the juju gods screw us? Just as Yankee fans were starting to accept Roogie Odor, he gets hurt? That stinks. Hope Ody is okay. 

Final note: Can't help but get excited over this picture of Stanton and Judge confronting Lil Jose Altuve.



54 comments:

  1. It cannot be overstated how I look forward to the wisdom of El Duque, Horace and a cast of a dozen. This is the best blog! Thank you for your great insight and writing talent!

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  2. Great report, Peerless Leader!

    And thanks, Wezil! We aim to please. Or at least provoke.

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  3. Fantastic report as usual El Duque,,,, and I cannot agree more with you Wezil1!!!!!

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  4. Sorry, but in the photo the Carters look like marionettes...

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  5. That has got to be the creepiest photo I have ever seen.

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  6. I'm with you, Mr. Allen. How the fuck could they put that out to the public?

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  7. A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.

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  8. So, are you sayin' that the "endless supply of talent" in the pipeline dribbles to a trickle when it reaches AAA? "Great googly-moogly"! And, and "weasels rip my flesh"!

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  9. WOWZERS, when Zappa, Howlin' Wolf AND Grady from Sanford and Son all make an appearance in the same post, I know I'm in the right group, a bazillion THANKS Kevin!!!!

    So s*ck it Stros, Brain and FU Hal> GOOooOOOOOOOOOoo YANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  10. Well our half of the first went swimmingly.

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  11. Don't forget the University of Australia Philosophy Dept.

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  12. Can't believe they're playing. It's been raining on-and-off all day in NYC, and it's raining freely now.

    Boy, does Mike Ford look lost.

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  13. But it's a bone chilling cold dank rain, Hoss. No way the players will be able to stay warm and loose. Hopefully a pitcher or two will blow out an an elbow.

    Bottom of the second: We get a baserunner on a walk and two hitters put the ball in play for outs. Scintillating.

    AnDUjar had two hits, one a long home run, tonight. Voit homered too.

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  14. The Master and Suzyn are discussing Sanchez. The Master think Higgy has "pulled even" with Sanchez. They both agree Higgy should be doing most of the catching.

    Tehehee!!

    Also The Master believes it may have stopped raining, although he admits not really being sure.



    I'm still hoping for a hit. By the Yankees.

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  15. Nice response to assholes throwing at Yankees' heads.

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  16. Giancarlo, non si pue de parlo.

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

    GIANCARLO!!! NON SI PUE DE FUCKIN' PARLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  17. I'M SHAKING THAT ASS!!!! I'M SHAKING THAT ASS!!!! I'M SHAKING THAT ASS!!!!

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  18. Woah! Get a grip, Warbleboy!! There a lot of baseball left tonight - and what you gonna shake in the ninth?

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  19. Soooo the big problem I'm seeing tonight is that Jordan Montgomery can't get out major league hitters.

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  20. Wezil1, stay tuned and find out!!

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  21. Mostly it's more ass. So much ass to shake. So very very much. I miss going to the gym.

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  22. My ass hasn't been this gelatinous since after the triplets were born.

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  23. Montgomery has never been a big league pitcher. I'm not sure why they haven't realized this in the last 4 years. And Hicks, please just go away.

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  24. Yes Network is wrong on the trivia question. It said Dusty Baker was the first person to manage 5 teams in the postseason. What two managers led 4 teams? They said the answer was Billy Martin and Davey Johnson.

    They forgot Dick Williams ... A's, redsocks, Expos and Padres.

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    Replies
    1. Wait, I stand corrected ... Williams was canned by the Expos before the 1981 postseason. So, only 3 teams.

      Delete
  25. Think Post-Covid training- and generous helpings of Coney’s secret sauce he talks about every chance he gets.

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  26. I'm unfamiliar with Coney's secret sauce. What is that? It's just steroids, right? Coney is juicing as an old retired athlete?

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  27. Saturday, Spetmeber 4th. Orioles. Last weekend of summer. Nosebleed sections. Tequila body shots out of the cellulite craters on my ass. Probably 6, 7 maybe 8 of you could do shots simultaneously. It'd be a party. We need to start planning. And I gotta get a bigger thong.

    Or some Coney suace??

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  28. Aaron Judge, Mr. Clutch as always.

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  29. Bern...I believe the question also only included managers who managed in NY.

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  30. Hicks got a hit but now it's all up to Sanchez.

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  31. Tie game, 7th inning, why bother? We all know he isn't going to come through.

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  32. Find me the one pitcher who couldn't strike Judge out in that situation.

    Ursela with the cherry on top of the shit sundae

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  33. A nice golden sombrero for Judge on Cinco de Mayo.

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  34. Two on, no one out. Judge doesn't advance the runners on the Golden Sombrero and Gio hits into a double play.

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  35. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  36. Only in contemporary MLB will you find a team with 4 hitters in a row hitting sub .180. And that's even with Odor, Frazier and Wade not in the lineup. Pathetic!

    They need more production from key hitting positions: left, center, first and catcher. Voit's imminent arrival should solve first base but I suspect that there will be a season-long problem at catcher and the two outfield positions.

    We used to laugh at hitters (mostly catchers) like Bob Uecker, Jake Gibbs and more recently Erik Kratz. But all of them hit at least .200 or better for their careers. Superstars by today's standards.

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  37. Pinch hit for Ford. With a guy hitting .143. Extras loom.

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  38. Carl J I'd give my left gonad for Joel Skinner.

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  39. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! HICKS HITS ONE TO THE FAIR TERRITORY JUST BEYOND THE INFIELD!!!! I'LL TAKE IT!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

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  40. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! ANOTHER OPPOSITE FIELD HIT AND RBI FOR THE BIG HAMBURGER!!!!! ANOTHER OPPOSITE FIELD HIT AND RBI FOR THE BIG HAMBURGER!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

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  41. Wow. John Carl Mike is over 300. You just can't predict baseball.

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  42. Can we get just one small HBP on Chick Corea? Just one? A slider even?

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  43. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

    The ... ahem ... THUH-UH-UH-UH-UHUHUHUHUHUH YANKESS WINNNNNNN!!!!


    SUCK IT ALTUVE!!!

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  44. My question is...

    What is this clutch-hitting, opposite-field hitting, taking-what you're given, crisp-fielding, deep-bullpenned, game-closing team in pinstripes...AND WHAT HAVE THEY DONE WITH MY NEW YORK YANKEES???

    (Pretty much anything is cool by me, I was just wondering.)

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  45. I've never understood the animosity that is directed towards Stanton (and players like him). He makes huge amounts of money, yeah, and some years he he's hurt a lot (his career numbers aren't bad though). The thing is the man has talent in spades. How many players in the game can carry a team like this? When players like Stanton or Judge get rolling it takes the pressure off of lesser players and they start hitting (um, most of the time). This streak isn't a fluke, he's been punishing the ball all year. Enjoy him for what he is, and cut him slack for what he isn't. For you codgers out there, remember that Reggie used to get knocked for pretty much the same things (yeah, Reggie was a more talented all-around player, when he was in the mood). Now all we need are two or three talented up the middle players, and pray for the pitching staff to stay healthy. We'd have it made! 😎

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  46. I'd say Reggie was very much a more talented all-around player, Kevin, and he played hard—he just didn't get along with Billy Martin. A lot of people didn't.

    But you're right about the fans' animosity. And I think most of us here don't blame Stanton for what he is—though I wish he would spend less time in the weight room.

    I know that I, for one, find it almost frightening to consider the things I would do for about 1/100th of Giancarlo's annual salary.

    What we're disgruntled about is the move Cashman made in getting him, and tying up so much of the team's payroll for so long on what is a constantly injured, one-dimensional ballplayer.

    But hey, we need to be disgruntled about something. If Stanton leads the Yanks to just one World Series win in his 10 or 11 years in the Bronx, I will be ready to say dayenu!

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  47. Disgruntled. Ooohh yes. Disgruntled.

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  48. Horace, go back and check out Stanton's games played for the Marlins (let's agree to give him a break for that horrific beaning he took). I think that THE BRAIN had the right idea. And to be totally fair, we have to wonder if said BRAIN knew of Hal's "reallocation of resources" was coming. I'd bet nickels to pennies that he didn't.

    I was a huge Reggie fan back in the day, he did dog it (just have a seance with Billy Martin), and he caught Hell from the press. I just looked up his games played, 131-146, not the stuff of Legend. What is your opinion on how Reggie would be remembered by Yankee fans had he not had some of those crazy playoff games?

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