The Yankees are about to make perhaps the most important move of 2021

Rumors buzzed last week that the Yankees - desperate for a CF - were on the verge of trading for Delino Deshields Jr. 

Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the SEAT BELT signs. Passengers should return to their seats and prepare for a bit of turbulence. You might want to check in the seat pouch for your stomach distress bag. Flight attendants should take secure positions...

Cooperstown Cashman's annual spring mating dance is about to begin. DO NOT PANIC! DO YOU HEAR ME? DO! NOT! PANIC!!!!! A trade is coming, that's all, hahahaha, (somebody shoot me), and we should snuggle into the recliner and fortify our courage. For Alphonso, that means a cistern full of canned mixed drinks - the "Sidecar" his current bev of choice. Whatever Cash does, it will conjure a universal "WTF" across the Yankiverse, and the clouds part and the mountainside comes into view.

The problem with Deshields? Nothing personal. It's just that he'll turn 29 in August, he bats RH - (yeesh, don't we need lefties?) - he's a career .246 hitter, he has no power, his base-stealing isn't what it used to be (or what his dad used to be) and his current big numbers at Triple A - he's hitting .365 - reflect a sample size smaller than Ivanka's cosmetically altered overbite. If the Yankees acquire him, it will be strictly for defense - which is reasonable, I suppose - but - yeesh - if that's all there is to the circus, why not just try Estevan Florial, or Thomas Milone, or Tyler Wade, or the wall-bouncer, Cliff Frazier, and see what happens? 

What we need is a Cameron Maybin, and frankly, there aren't any. The Mets, who actually have the real Cameron Maybin - now hitting 0-for-19 on the season - are looking for the Maybin guy who performed so well two years ago.  (Also, Maybin is not a CF, so... nope.)    

Another factor might complicate a trade for Deshields. Apparently, he has a June 1 "opt-out" clause in his contract, allowing him to become a free agent unless the Texas Rangers promote him to the majors. Thus, to get anything in a trade, Texas must call him up, slap him on the back and then deal his ass. Having seen the Rangers a week ago, I think I speak for humanity in wondering, what would be the point? In return, they might pry Nick Goody or Mike Montgomery from the Scranton roster. (And here's the kicker: They probably have June 1 "opt-out" clauses in their contracts, too.) 

Greg Allen, whom the Yankees signed last winter, would normally have gotten a call by now. He's 28, a switch-hitter CF with speed. Unfortunately, he's out with an oblique injury, and those things are bastards. So, we're back to square one.

My hope is that Cooperstown has his eye on some veteran lug nut out there, showing speed and defense at Triple A, with another June 1 opt-out. If there is one thing we've learned over the years, it's that the Gammonites never correctly predict a Cashman trade. Whomever leaked it that the Yankees were talking about Deshields - Cashman? - did it with the purpose of kicking the tree, perhaps after Texas asked too much?

This we do know, at 38, Brett Gardner cannot play CF every day. He'll dissolve. He already looks 40. His best use is as a fourth OF, who spells the starters now and then. We need somebody who can cover ground and torment pitchers when he reaches base. (Frankly, I'd love to see Wade get a shot, but that's not Cashman's style.) 

If the Yankees can find a cheap alternative, we will not have to pay the king's ransom on the Aug. 1 trade deadline. If we fail, the last few weeks in July could be a torture chamber.

A deal is coming. Brace yourselves, everybody. It's going to get a little bumpy.