Tuesday, October 5, 2021

EMERGENCY JUJU ALERT! EMERGENCY JUJU ALERT! EMERGENCY JUJU ALERT!

THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM THE EMERGENCY YANKEE JUJU NETWORK. 

A FULL JUJU INTERVENTION HAS BEEN DECLARED.

REPEATING: A FULL JUJU INTERVENTION HAS BEEN DECLARED.

IN THE... SECOND INNING, FIRST YANKEE BATTER.

ASSUME THE PROPER POSITION FOR A COMPLETE JUJU INTERVENTION. VIEWERS ARE INSTRUCTED TO CONFRONT THEIR TVS, RADIOS OR INFORMATIONAL DEVICES. BUT DO NOT TOUCH THEM OR HARM THEM HER IN ANY WAY. SEND JUJU APPROPRIATELY. 

REPEATING...

SECOND INNING, YANKEE LEADOFF BATTER...

196 comments:

  1. I like the defensive lineup. I just don't like Gallo in the four spot. WTF?

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  2. If Gallo has the game of his life, The New York Murdoch will proclaim Boooooone a genius.

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  3. The worst part of tonight, no matter who wins, will be having to listen to these assholes on ESPN

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  4. Thank you Beau - you just saved my life

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  5. Jerry Remy just described as "a former Red Sox great" who should have his number retired.

    I'm turning off the sound.

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  6. Zach, can you tell us if the New York Yankees have EVER had a No. 4 hitter in a playoff game who hit under .200 on the season?

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  7. Way to work him, Rizz!

    Holy shit, this is going to be bad.

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  8. Three pitches, two outs. Well, hey, we spoiled any chance for a 27-pitch, 27-out game!

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  9. Poor John, being there in person didn’t help him a bit.

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  10. Gleyber should be behind Stanton. Gallo provides no protection for Giancarlo. Sure it breaks up righty-lefty but so what? Now they'll just pitch around Stanton. Bad move by Boone!

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  11. Now we go t'em right where we want'em. Man on first, and the strikeout king up.


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  12. IT IS HIGH IT IS FAR IT IS A SINGLE!!!

    Time to rename the blog.

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  13. Horace now please, you can’t predict baseball. It’s illegal. Stop.

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  14. Horseshit call.

    But if you are the Three True Outcomes, walk, strikeout, or homer king, FUCKING SWING. Or don't swing. A guy playing Gallo's game and not free swinging is ludicrous.

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  15. Seriously. WTF on Stanton!!! And yes, always put your worst hitter in the cleanup spot. We are screwed!!!

    Doug K.

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  16. Well, at least we didn't embarrass ourselves in that first inning. Oh, wait.

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  17. I see we're going to get absolutely nothing from the umps tonight.

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  18. I don't care if it's the first inning with nobody on. Walk Devers. Better yet, hit him with a pitch.

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  19. Easy Hoss. It’s going to be a long night

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  20. And...that's your ballgame, ladies and gentlemen.

    Cole looked like he had nothing tonight.

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  21. and we're off and by off I mean not on.

    Doug K.

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  22. 18 pitches, 1 swing and miss
    4 balls in play, 2 hard-hit balls

    Hey Boone, these are what we in the business call Red Flags.

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  23. Time for a Cole "adjustment."

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  24. I would honestly pull Cole right now. Put in Cortes. Really. What's the point of watching this guy pitch 4 innings and leave down 5-0?

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  25. I would pull the defensive lineup with him. Nothing to lose.

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  26. Incredible how this guy who is the height of nothingness continues to beat us. Even after we finally got to him.

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  27. 35m a year just doesn’t buy as much as it used to. I guess we can blame Biden?

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  28. Hoss, I just read your last comment and thought you were talking about Boone.

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  29. And the umps might as well just announce that any check swing will be called against us.

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  30. Suzyn said Renfro goes down with the best of them.

    Oooooh...kayyyyy...

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  31. And a mighty belt from the back-up catcher who could not even make the Mets.

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  32. Cole the Cole of September.

    We're dead.

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  33. Nestor should be in already. Cole has nothing. He can barely throw a pitch in the 90s.

    Nestor should be in, and the offense team should be in. They won't do much better, but at least there's a chance.

    Incidentally, why is Gio, visibly limping, still in the game?

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  34. He's visibly wincing in pain, too.

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  35. This game is beginning to feel exactly like Game 7 in 2004. I honestly could not believe they'd come out with nothing.

    But they did. And they're doing the same now.

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  36. 1 run in their last 17 innings. And that was on what looked like a tailor-made DP grounder to second.

    No playoff wins against Boston since 2003.

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  37. Look, it's fine. He had a couple of hits. Our 2021 Suckees can phone in the rest of the game secure in the knowledge they weren't no-hit.

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  38. Let's leave Cole in there for a few more innings to see if he can pull it together. No reason to get anyone warm yet.

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  39. oh for the love of G-d!

    Doug K.

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  40. Time to remove Cole. Thank you for listening.

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  41. Doomed. Every winter is long, but this winter is going to be very, very long.

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  42. Have they removed Cole yet? Please let me know ASAP. Thank you. (A man shouldn't pitch with a bad hammy)

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  43. Yeah, no need to have a mobile 3B in the game.

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  44. I think Hammer's dream had the wrong team's fans rioting.

    Doug K.

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  45. Superstar. $35 million man. The one you want on the mound in games like this.

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  46. RI Alan Colter, Letterman's announcer and funny, too.

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  47. Does he have a bad hammy? He's got something, and it ain't good.

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  48. Get Garrett some of that sticky stuff ...

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  49. Wade at third, I think.

    Cole is game, but he's sucking.

    Holmes coming in.

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  50. Well, Cole pitched some tough, clutch games for us this year. He led the league in wins, and he was obviously the best starter we had.

    But he's not a top, clutch guy, like so many the Yankees have had over the years—but have RARELY had in the Cashman years.

    And in any case, since he doesn't bat, I don't see how he can drive in a run.

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  51. So there is our ace, our savior, our chance at redemption. Sucking up the joint.

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  52. Guaranteed it'll come out sometime before next spring that Cole's hammy "never quite healed" but he "tried to throw through it."

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  53. This was a very frustrating, very inconsistent team all year long. If anything, they probably played above their heads much of the season.

    But this is still a humiliating and ridiculous loss.

    Nathan Eovaldi has a lifetime record of 61-65, with an ERA of 4.19. This was probably his best year, but he still allowed a hit an inning. And we have displayed absolutely no ability to score on him.

    Ugly.

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  54. Cole has to be pitching with an injury of some kind. This past month is really an outlier.

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  55. John and Suzyn sound like they're already waving the white flag

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  56. Something is wrong with Cole. You don't broadcast that to the competition.

    It will come out postseason. Watch.

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  57. On the plus side they have Cole & Stanton for a combined $70m for the next 5 yrs. That pretty much guarantees some solid WC runs and no FAs.

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  58. That stop by Higgy on the pitch way outside in the dirt could turn out to be huge. A WP would've put runners at second and third, and then there's no inning-ending DP.

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  59. We might well lose, but I'm not giving up. I think the pen holds them here. They're bound to fuck up defensively, and we can get to their bullpen.

    It ain't over til it's over. Or the eighth inning.

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  60. And remember ... the '78 Yanks were shut out until the 7th inning.

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  61. Nah. There's open panic now among the players. Stanton is back to being Stanton, swinging at a pitch that is level with his head.
    And now Joey Gallo.

    I don't think I can humanly describe how little I ever want to see this guy play baseball again.

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  62. Yeah, but this team is not the 78 Yankees. More like the 68 Yankees.

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  63. You mean the '78 Yankees didn't have a .160 hitter batting cleanup?

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  64. the 78 Yankees had a team BA of 267

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  65. In retrospect, Cole shouldn't have started, but I'm sure he more or less insisted. Which is to be expected from a guy in his position, but he's shown in the past month that something is wrong.

    Eovaldi is dealing. Not what we needed, but there it is. The Yankees should have abandoned their offensive strategy by now. It's not working.

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  66. The 1978 Yankees had a starting pitcher that was really good that year. ALL year.

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  67. I'm fairly certain their cleanup hitter was a Hall of Famer. Forget his name. Had a candy bar?

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  68. Mary Jane

    Doug K.

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  69. The strategy of being aggressive against Eovaldi has backfired. Not only are they not scoring, his pitch count is low.

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  70. Okay, sure, so Gardy looked at strike three right over the plate. But that was a helluva glare he gave Eovaldi afterwards.

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  71. To quote the great Patti Smith:

    "Can't you show me nothing but surrender?"

    Guess not.

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  72. Well, what can you expect? There are only so many greats.

    Koufax
    Marichal
    Gibson
    Whitey Ford
    Lefty Grove
    Satchel Paige
    Eovaldi

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  73. Yeah, he can't hit to save his life, but he can sure impress us with his style.

    It's like watching the House of David play!

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  74. You forgot Walter "Big Train" Johnson.

    And Scott Sanderson.

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  75. I don't think I've ever seen a Yankees team so mentally unprepared to play a big game.

    I think they should have all claimed they had Covid, and gone home.

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  76. We are getting beat by Young Nathan and FatAss Schwarber. Long long long winter ahead.

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  77. Odor as an offensive replacement.

    Ok, we're done.

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  78. This is how bad things are: R Odor is sent in to pinch hit with his wRC+ of 83.

    Cash and Hal and Boone are responsible for this. They all suck.



    Yeah, nobody beats the Riz. So fucking what.

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  79. Bye bye, Nathan.

    Now, maybe we get to work.

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  80. Nice sprint by Judge. Faster than I thought.

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  81. So Cora yanks Eovaldi after a Pesky-pole homer and an infield single.

    Considering their bullpen, this looks like a huge mistake.

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  82. unforced error by Cora?

    Doug K.

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  83. That was moronic. Why send him?

    Dumb dumb dumb

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  84. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! and now Gallo

    Doug K.

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  85. Not a good time to take a big risk like that.

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  86. Nevin should be gone. That was terrible.

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  87. What a lousy call. Holy shit. He had the perfect view and still blew it.

    Jesus Christ.

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  88. Holy shit that was bad from Nevin. Also, Judge took a long time to get running. That hit looked in no way catchable. He should have been running much earlier

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  89. That was not on Judge, Bosch. Not at all.

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  90. Nevin is a fucking idiot who has hurt us all year.

    Sure, Gallo was up next. But two on and one out puts a lot more pressure on a pitcher than one on and two out. Moron. And hitting Gallo No. 4 is also moronic.

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  91. Judge has played in Fenway many times. He should know how the wall plays

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  92. Nevin needs to go. There's been too much of that this year.

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  93. Stanton has just missed twice.

    Of course, that and $6.75 will get you a coffee nowadays.

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  94. Whether he ran late or not, Nevin should never have sent him.

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  95. Hey! Take it easy on Phil Nevin! He was probably watching replays of his son's MLB debut on his phone.

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  96. Severino's fastball velocity is way down. Maxxing out at 95, sitting at 94. Used to be 97-99. Not the same pitcher.

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  97. Agreed, JM. There's no doubt Nevin fucked up badly

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  98. Time to hit the hay. See you all in hot stove territory.

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  99. Nevin has the same three middle letters as Devil.

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  100. Velocity isn't as important as location and movement. Plus they threw him out there in a panic. Let's see where he is next spring, assuming he doesn't hurt himself again. And again.

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  101. Too bad Sevvy finally gave it up. He's looked great in general. I have hopes for him.

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  102. See? That last pitch was over the middle of the plate with no break. Would have gotten away with it outside the zone or further down. Or if it didn't just hang there like a GIGANTIC MEATBALL!!!

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  103. Exactly, JM. Judge is running head down, as he should be. He has to depend on Nevin, who has never met a runner he wouldn't send.

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  104. Ultimately, it's the old ADBS - Aggravated Dead Bat Syndrome - that returns each year like the flu. The Yankees have had HORRIBLE situational hitting going on 20 years.

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  105. Yep. And as bad as this seems, we have three more at bats. So, suffering, but playing wait and see.

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  106. Mustang, also this: Phil Nevin is an idiot and has been a terrible 3rd base coach for years.

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  107. And there's no little blue pill that'll bring their bats to life.

    Cash must go.
    Cash must go.
    Cash must go.
    And Randy Levine in a sex club, cleaning someone's boots with his tongue tonight.

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  108. Shaw is batting .200. Maybe we can trade for him.

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  109. Think they'll take Boone? Throw in Nevin only if you have to.

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  110. Dalbec is the only player who rhymes with Malbec.

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  111. Verdugo makes my skin crawl. And he stole 99 from Judge.

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  112. If only Johnny Lasagna had a little run support.

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  113. I just discovered, via the amazing Internet Anagram Server, that there is only ONE anagram for "Phil Nevin." This is highly unusual. It's moronic: Hen Nil Vip

    There are four for "Red Sox" and the one I like the best is: "Rod Sex" but I am in the fourth grade, so don't blame me.

    Brian Cashman, as we know, is "Banana Smirch" and Randy Levine is "Lavender Yin."

    Hal Steinbrenner generates many anagrams, but the one that jumps out at first glance is "Herbal Sinner Net." There are others, though, such as "Blah Rennet Rinse" and "Enabler Thinners"

    This all points to one thing - I have truly given up hope. I know we have 6 more outs, but this is feeling more like 2004, except that we really suck now and it was much more crushing then. That was the start of the end. Who said this: "This is not the end. It is not the beginning of the end, but it is the end of beginning." Was that Churchill? Or was it Donald Duck? And does it matter? Of course not.

    "In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight...." and onward.

    Time to go read some William Burroughs or maybe dive into a new gulag book. Winter is here. Happy times.

    Charlie's good tonight, ain't he?

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  114. Three words that do NOT strike fear into opponents:

    "Here's Brett Gardner"

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  115. Then again, this is what Brian sets out to do every year, make the playoffs. We have not had a team capable of winning in the post season in a loooooong time, and the last time was only because he spent a heap of money and the flickering ghost of King George's personal juju protectors were around.

    No such energy field now. Four outs from another winter in the North Dakota chasing squirrels. Four outs from oblivion.

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  116. And the Nevin blunder beginning to pale in significance after those entirely predictable at-bats from Gallo and Torres.

    This is simply not a championship lineup. We don't have a championship rotation, either, but the overachieving bullpen often covers for it. 2 runs in 19 innings with everything on the line is pathetic.

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  117. HEY! What airport do they fly into?

    Let's all go and meet the boys at the gate when they get back, win or lose!

    Who's with me?

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    Replies
    1. Don't get directions from Nevin; you'll arrive late.

      Delete
  118. We had a dreadful season with two winning streaks near the end, separated by a freefall. Period. End of story.

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  119. Sorry for all the rants, folks. I'm done. See you all tomorrow.

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  120. I am here. I will be here. Always.

    I am drinking heavily. I will be drinking heavily. Always.

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  121. Bitty, I love it when our avatars line up like that!

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  122. Damn, we still have six outs. How did that happen? Hope!!!

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  123. time to stagger off into the night...

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  124. What kind of idiot schedules a juju intervention for the second inning? We lost in the first! Nevin, Cashman, Boone… all off the hook. We’ll see them all again in 2022

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  125. A-Rod picking the Ray and Brewers in the Series. Half of the network suits just had heart attacks.

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  126. A lot of pitches for Loisaga.

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  127. Well, because Stanton had two blasts that just fell short, and because the pen picked up our woeful starter, we actually weren't far from winning this game.

    But that was never going to last.

    The bottom six of the lineup was Gallo, Torres, Gardner, Gio, Higgy, and Velazquez. Good defensive lineup, but once we got behind it was done—and there was nothing off the bench to replace it.

    A miserable roster that got exposed tonight. It would've been exposed in 3 nights against TB.

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  128. Was just on the phone listening to my 96 year old uncle (my late Dad's twin brother)complain about this team. Raised in Hunts Point. Bronx guy through and through.

    To sum up, we both:

    A) Miss my Dad

    B) are totally frustrated by this crop of putzes!

    Doug K.

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  129. Watching the "Statcast" broadcast on ESPN is better than listening to A-Rod, but they just ran a "2021 catcher framing leaders" stat across the bottom of the page and they lost me.

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  130. I severely doubt it's possible, but beating them after all this would be excellent. Soul crushing.

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  131. No one on this team will ever win a WS with the Yankees.

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  132. Poor Green. He's so overworked.

    Well, ok, that's the game.

    April is just around the corner. Sadly.

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  133. It's Jason Benetti on play-by-play with Eduardo Perez and Mike Petriello talking semi-nerdy stuff.

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  134. Cole is getting paid way too much not to be Ron Guidry.

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  135. How appropriate that it was Chaddy who finished them off.

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  136. I hate to say it but good! Good riddance!

    My least favorite Yankee team ever plays lifelessly, stupidly, with bad decisions on the base paths, in the starting line up,on the mound, basically everything I didn't like about them showed up. And now Sanchez...

    Doug K.



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  137. Rejoice, Yankee fans. This is the end of the Cashman-Boone follies. That's much more desirable than watching this group hobble to defeat in another round of the postseason. I predict a return of Showalter as manager (how inconvenient for the puckered haters) and Cone as GM; Hal likes familiar names from the extended family.

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  138. Who cares? Really who gives a shit? Losing tonight spares us from having to suffer through a boring, brutal 3 game sweep by the Rays.

    Cole is an overrated bum however.

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  139. I'll need to find a radio to listen to The Master and The Companera in the 9th.

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  140. Artificial Lemon FlatuanceOctober 5, 2021 at 11:08 PM

    GOOD NIGHT MOON
    GOOD NIGHT BOONE
    GOOD NIGHT GARY
    GOOD NIGHT CASH
    GGOD NIGHT VOIT
    GOOD NIGHT GALLO
    GOOD NIGHT FRIENDS
    I'M GUNNA WALLOW

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  141. Leinstery,

    I believe Cole was hurt. If you are going to blame someone blame whomever decided to start him.

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  142. There’s a fat stupid Red Sox fan at work. When the yankees swept the sox, I said nothing. When they ever played the sox I said nothing. I’ve avoided this buffet graising button straining engorged tick of a subhuman at all costs. But tomorrow, he’ll be at my cube. He’ll say something inane he heard on the radio on the drive in…. Then I will ask…. When the yankees swept this sox, did I say a word to you? When ever the yankees played the Soxs, did I make a social visit to your cube? Have I ever made a social visit to your cube? No. So take a hint. And take a hike. I will then return to whatever I’m doing… filing my nails, reading drudge, etc.

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  143. Yeah, they truly suck. But my heart is still broken and will be until spring training.

    With any luck, Boooooone will be gone.

    I have no hope for the immediate death of The Intern.

    I love all of you. It’s only because of you that I hadn’t tuned out in July. You have kept me happy, and I thank every one of you for your presence here.

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  144. DickAllen - Me Too - My Lemons Ripened with the Beauty that was all of US. (or I just had fun here?)

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  145. Well, El Duque got his wish. He asked the JuJu gods not to let the season end with a walk-off by Boston, Tampa, or Houston against Chapman, and it won’t. On the bright side are we really any worse off? It’s now been 20 years since the catastrophe in Arizona ushered in this era of disappointment. The karma is amiss and unless that changes, continue to expect the worst.

    - Melquiades

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  146. Doug,

    If that's true then he Brett Favre'd the season. Too arrogant and selfish to step aside during an injury and let his team suffer. I doubt he is, that'll be the spin of the Yanks media machine to excuse why the team had ZERO heart in a do or die game.

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  147. This team is the hay-laced turd tumbling slowly from a donkey’s ass.

    Even if Boone is gone, the blight that is Brian Cashman remains.

    I, too, love you all and will see you around the ranch. Tomorrow is another day.

    ReplyDelete
  148. I feel relieved that the Yanks are moving on...team needs an overhaul...staying in the playoffs would have delayed the dismantling...it's a blessing in disguise...

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  149. So ... what's the status of Sterling and Suzanne for next season? How long do their contracts last?

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  150. Lemon is as Lemon DoesOctober 5, 2021 at 11:21 PM

    Let Us Not Forget J and S!

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  151. Oh, this is the perfect spot for a Stanton solo shot.

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  152. Let the record show my last comment was pubbed BEFORE he hit it.

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  153. A-God is right...I've said it for a long time...the Yanks are built to make the playoffs, but not to win in them....

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  154. Brethren of the Bereaved, much love > I salute you!

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  155. John and Suzyn seems to think they will be back next year....

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  156. John and Suzyn are talking about next year, but they are not under contract.

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  157. John Sterling just said he's been broadcasting with Suzyn for 17 years, and he's figuring on about 17 more.

    That's make him an even 100. Seems about right.

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  158. John and Suzyn closed saying that they hope to see us all in the spring, so they're at least not planning on leaving on their own...

    -Docile Anon

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  159. Doug K. writes, "I believe Cole was hurt. If you are going to blame someone blame whomever decided to start him." You'd better hope he was hurt. Otherwise, you need to blame the idiot who signed him to another of his famous forever Fort Knox millstone contracts: Cole, Stanton, LeMahieu, Hicks. Better hope that Jeff Bezos buys the team to those can be written off as a rounding error.

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  160. I thought the Yanks would win this one. When Stanchez eased his way to first I hoped I was wrong...sorry; Gary has sucked in the hustle department but that display of nongiveashitatude is all on Stanton. In that situation, when you have players who do that, there's no reason any gods would help you. Any MFer can't bother to run the bases? Cut them. And tell the whole world why. It's money spent anyway, you know if the right way to play hasn't occurred to them by now it won't. Eat the cost and dump the shitheads. And also dump the people who sign them. But keep Boone. He's a nice guy, I'm told. He's surely nice enough that he didn't bench Stanton following his pleasure cruise down the line. Definitely nicer than me; I think he's a fucking yes-guy loser who shoulda been cashed out years ago. But I'm a cold bastard and I keep hearing he's nice. So definitely keep Boonie. Oh...and have a pleasant next several months.

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  161. Can't blame Cole, who had some very big games for us this year, and generally looked like the top starter he's supposed to be.

    Can't blame Stanton, who for once found a way to stay on the field, and produce. Yeah, I didn't like the trot to first, either. But he came very close to hitting three home runs in this game. He did his job.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Artificial Lemon GuyOctober 6, 2021 at 1:01 AM

    Some things in life are bad
    They can really make you mad
    Other things just make you swear and curse
    When you're chewing on life's gristle
    Don't grumble, give a whistle
    And this'll help things turn out for the best
    And
    Always look on the bright side of life
    Always look on the light side of life
    If life seems jolly rotten
    There's something you've forgotten
    And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
    When you're feeling in the dumps
    Don't be silly chumps
    Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing
    And
    Always look on the bright side of life
    (Come on)
    Always look on the right side of life
    For life is quite absurd
    And death's the final word
    You must always face the curtain with a bow
    Forget about your sin
    Give the audience a grin
    Enjoy it, it's your last chance anyhow
    So always look on the bright side of death
    A just before you draw your terminal breath
    Life's a piece of shit
    When you look at it
    Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
    You'll see it's all a show
    Keep 'em laughin' as you go
    Just remember that the last laugh is on you
    And
    Always look on the bright side of life
    Always look on the right side of life
    (C'mon Brian, cheer up)
    Always look on the bright side of life
    Always look on the bright side of life
    Always look on the bright side of life
    I mean, what have you got to lose?
    You know, you come from nothing
    You're going back to nothing
    What have you lost? Nothing
    Always look on the right side of life
    Nothing will come from nothing, ya know what they say
    Cheer up ya old bugga c'mon give us a grin (Always look on the right side of life)
    There ya are, see
    It's the end of the film
    Incidentally this record's available in the foyer (Always look on the right side of life)
    Some of us got to live as well, you know
    (Always look on the right side of life)
    Who do you think pays for all this rubbish
    (Always look on the right side of life)
    They're not gonna make their money back, you know
    I told them, I said to him, Bernie, I said they'll never make their money back
    (Always look on the right side of life)

    ReplyDelete
  163. Disagree, Mr. Clarke.

    Cole was awesome until he consistently sucked...suckitude; that's the word, no? I'm not blaming him because I have to blame THEM. THEY love that plural pronoun. About $5000000 of shit down the stretch run. Oh, I'll not only blame him. I'll blame Stanton, too. Man cranked up stats AFTER the division was damn near gone; par for the course. And PLEASE show me, before the great Outfield Return, when everybody except Gramps G. was hurt and TYLER FUCKING WADE had to save Kluber's no-no in right, ONE instance that shows Stanton with a glove screaming PUT ME IN COACH! Gotta be some interviews where he bemoaned Boone's refusal to put him out there. Right? I don't mean recently; I mean before July 10 or so. I spent two months hearing how he gave such a great big shit about fielding; certainly he had Boone in a headlock the second Hicks got hurt. Right?

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