In Defense of "The Martian"

Before we all start getting bent out of shape about Jasson being out of shape let's take a moment and look at the bigger picture. 

Here's the thing about his weight gain... 

Sure, it would be easy to say that if he keeps this up we will have to name him after a larger planet. That his gravitational field will start to attract space debris and that, forget championship rings, the only rings he's going to end up with are like the Rings of Saturn.

But you know what? That would be wrong. So I'm not going to do that. 

If we look at what's going on with a modicum of compassion... (Good name for a book of short stories BTW. "A Modicum of Compassion and Other Stories" I'd read it.)   

It's not sloth. It's stress. 

Imagine if any of us were proclaimed the next Mailer or Woody Allen, or even the next Bob Guccione at sixteen. That's a lot of weight to put on someone and can lead to a lot of weight being put on someone. 

Now imagine that you are constantly being observed and evaluated. No room for error. No room to grow. We're lucky he's too young to be a full blown alcoholic. 

New country. New Language. New foods! Lots of money! 

Oh, and he's just a kid! 

I guess none of us were schmucks at nineteen. Some us are STILL schmucks. 

I hope than in addition to his swing coach, fitness coach, media coach, and three DVD set of the TV show "Coach", they give this kid a life coach because he's living in a goldfish bowl and right now the only castle he's seeking refuge in is White Castle.   

Much like the elastic in the waistband of his Yankee uniform, we need to cut him some slack.