Friday, February 25, 2022

If the baseball season is delayed, America must impose brutal economic sanctions upon the MLB oligarchs

The lords of baseball had all of last year to negotiate a labor agreement. They did nothing. 

Since Dec. 2, when the lockout began, they've had plenty of opportunities to initiate talks. They sat on their hands.

Now, they either do a deal this weekend, or the regular season will be delayed. 

It's time they suffer the consequences for their actions. 

If opening day is canceled, I propose:

1. Freeze the bank accounts of all owners and players with contracts of more than $100 million. When they put their card in an automatic teller, it should shred it and tell them to call a bogus number, which nobody ever answers.

2. Remove them from the international SWIFT banking system, denying them the chance to - actually, I'm not sure - but it sounds like it will really mess with their heads, and - yeah- I'm for it.

3. Deny them access to technology and computers, so they can't even log onto the internet. One exception: Allow them the daily Wordle. This will frustrate them even more.

4. Confiscate their real estate, artwork, jewelry, yachts, fancy cars, swimming pools, gift cards, illegal drugs, child sex trafficking networks, porn collections and whatnot. They can keep their clothes, until they are replaced by orange jump suits. 

5. We should go to their mansions in massive mobs, set up makeshift gallows and chant that they be hung in public. This is all for show, of course. Everybody knows we're just kidding, and it's all just fine hilarity, like when we phone in the death threats.

6. Don't forget the girlfriends! This is a classic blunder of past dictator sanction packages. Putin has a former gymnast. Not sure what Hal Steinbrenner has going on the side, but he/she/they probably have at least a Porsche that we'd want to light on fire.  

Get it done by Monday, MLB, or we're coming with the charger cables.

7 comments:



  1. Fat chance of that happening.

    We are at the mercy of the billionaire oligarchy, who only want one thing: money.

    The game is fixed. And not in our favor.

    Better to live your own life and fly under the radar.

    Don't watch. Don't subscribe. Don't buy.

    Become a pirate. Unplug yourself from the machine.

    ReplyDelete

  2. Fuck every single baseball owner.

    You know how much a baseball team is worth if there’s no season?

    Nothing. Not a goddamned thing.

    Let it be so.

    ReplyDelete
  3. As far as I'm concerned, the taxpayers of NYC paid for that stadium and the NY Yankees ain't nothing without it. Why should a creep like Steinbrenner benefit from that? Especially when his VP Levine - as NYC Deputy Mayor - negotiated a sweetheart deal for the Yankees and a took a job with the company as his kickback. In civilized countries and some US states, that's criminal behavior worthy of jail time and crippling fines.

    So I think NYC should just nationalize the team and take it from the Steinbrenners. That would be exactly what baseball owners deserve.

    At least then, taxpayers can enjoy the stadiums we pay for.

    ReplyDelete

  4. Doctor T speaks great wisdom.

    I’m thinking we should hold the First Annual IIHIIC Softball game there in lieu of old-timers day.

    And we all wear retired numbers. And bring along a few kegs.


    ReplyDelete
  5. Also,
    make the owners reinstate all of the MILB teams that they liquidated last year so that small and semi-small cities have pro baseball to watch at a reasonable price.
    Fuck the owners. They killed MILB to save a few rubles, which they should, hopefully, lose during this debacle/money grab that they are marinating now.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'd be more than happy to drop a deuce in Hal's punchbowl.

    ReplyDelete

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