First, though, I've been noticing some disrespectful comments being posted lately, so let's clear the air in this locker room:
None of us truly knows the loneliness, anguish, exhaustion and purturbation that comes with being Yankee Owner, especially when it means having to deal with the impossible expectations of regular fans... like some of you people.
Most of us never bother to thank Mr. Steinbrenner for the competitive teams that he annually assembles, clothes, manages and owns. You think being Yankee Owner is a lark? that all he has to do is write checks and count the coins? Well, buddy boy, you're wrong - horribly, dreadfully wrongy wrong. As any owner will tell you, owning is the toughest, most thankless job in America.
Yesterday, what was particularly galling to me was how Mr. Steinbrenner - who hasn't missed a payroll in all his time as Yankee Owner - was snidely expected to explain himself for merely following the basic goal of capitalism: To turn a profit.
These media jackals do no one any good, because they spur poor people's expectations, and when that happens, well, cancel culture! Does anyone around here still value liberty? (By the way, write this down... One way to shorten games: Replace the National Anthem with the jingle for Liberty Mutual Car Insurance, and just sing, "Liberty, liberty, liberty... LIBERTY!" That would cut three to five minutes off each game, think about it, Mr. Manfred.)
Yesterday, if I were Mr. Steinbrenner, and all those unclean reporters were crowding around me, coughing on me, suggesting they know how to spend my money better than I do - well, I would have screamed. Loudly, piercingly, yet without rancor, until they went away. For god's sake, you people, show a little class! Be thankful that Mr. Steinbrenner, as Yankee Owner, is gracious enough to donate his time, as he does whenever he lets us enjoy the great Yankee traditions.
You know what? It just fries my forehead when some of you - you know who you are! - show the UNMITIGATED AUDACITY to whine about this-and-that, because we didn't sign so-and-so from such-and-such, and that we finished third last season and haven't done anything... ohhh, poor you. You won't be satisfied until every Yankee is making $500 million, and - wait - have you heard that Aaron Judge has issued an opening day "deadline" for contract-extension talks? If I were Mr. Steinbrenner, I'd say, "Listen, you snot-nosed little clump of toadstool feces, I'm Yankee Owner, not you, and I will issue the deadlines, and I'm docking your weekly pay, because I don't like the look on your face." But he won't do that. Know why? Class. As my grandmother used to say, "Class tells and shit smells."
So, get this into your heads, people: Mr. Steinbrenner is NOT going to change his ways because some crosstown team outspends him by $50 million this season, or some media types pick the Yankees to finish behind Baltimore. He's Yankee Owner, and he doesn't need us. He is giving us "a championship-caliber team." Let's rally behind him, rather than tear him down. You, go, Mr. Steinbrenner! And on behalf of the Yankiverse, thanky, sir, thanky, thanky, thanky.
1) "One way to shorten games: Replace the National Anthem with the jingle for Liberty Mutual Car Insurance, and just sing, "Liberty, liberty, liberty... LIBERTY!" That would cut three to five minutes off each game, think about it, Mr. Manfred.)"
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2) Clearly owning the Yankees is a burden as the photo posted by Mustang shows. If only the family had stuck with shipbuilding Hal could have be comfortably wealthy and the only team he would be accountable to is his team of accountants.
No press conferences. No ridicule. No unfavorable comparisons to the guy who builds ships for Royal Caribbean. Instead he has to face the rancor of fans who just saw the Dodgers do it again and sign the best player at a position of need.
Poor Prince Hal. A tragedy worthy of a Shakespeare play.
As Kant once said, 'You can tell the heart of a man by how he treats his animals."
ReplyDeleteAnd we are all Hal's gerbils.
Hal's depth of bullshit was on full display when he said the 2022 Yankees could win the World Series.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing worse than an asshole is a cheap asshole.
Yeah. Life is hard. Poor guy.
ReplyDeleteA friend suggested we should start a GoFundMe page to help him out.
It occurred to me that if he managed to cut a few minutes from the Anthem, the poor bastard would use it as an opportunity to squeeze in a few more commercials. I mean, after all, a fella has to earn a living, right?
In light of the recent trades and signings, Roger Clemens has told Hal that is coming back and Suzyn Waldman has just had another orgasm.
ReplyDeleteDickA,
ReplyDeleteGiven the general direction of society these days he could replace the seventh inning stretch with the seventh inning beer fart.
There's a sponsorship opp right there.
ReplyDelete“Oh, say can you see…See the USA in your Chevrolet…Play Ball!”
They can always get some Hospital who offers MRI services, considering half the guys on the team are getting one every week. The official MIR hospital of the NYY.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea to change the national anthem to just singing " Liberty, Liberty, Liberty......Liberty". But that puts the game on a slippery slope. Next thing you know, MLB will cut that down to just the last paused "Liberty" to save even more time.
ReplyDeleteI bet Liberty Biberty would pay a nice little stipend for the honor of replacing the National Anthem.
ReplyDeleteIf owning the Yankees and paying a percentage of that monstrosity of a stadium is too much of a burden the Whiney little asshole should sell the team. Seriously, with the money they saved by not improving the roster he should’ve hired a publicist and kept his mouth shut
ReplyDeleteAll kidding aside, couldn’t you just. envision: “And now, to honor America please rise for our National Anthem,…brought to you by Draft Kings, where everyone’s a winner” Yuck!
ReplyDeleteDomingo German should be well rested by the Bud Selig memorial play-in game (tm).
ReplyDeleteHe should be starting baseball related activities by the all-star break. Yankee spokes-weasel did not elaborate on which year that would be.
Quick actual baseball note.
ReplyDeleteDVR'd this afternoon's game for no reason. Boston vs. Minny.
Sanchez batting 5th and DHing.
First pitch called strike on the outside
Second pitch low and away swung on and missed by a mile.
Third pitch ball.
Fourth pitch Steeeeeeeerike three on a half swing.
We did good to move on.
And Booooone would say:
ReplyDelete“I like the way he’s approaching the ball. His work effort is terrific, a real role model. I’m not worried. He’ll be ready to go once he knocks the rust off. I have a lot of confidence in him. He’s my catcher.”
Oh, yeah. Come what may, Sanchez won't be missed.
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