Thursday, May 5, 2022

The Yankees' 11-game winning streak is over. Now, what?

Okay, we remember what happened last August: 

The Yankees won 13 straight, then gave it all back - losing 11 of their next 13. To call them hot v cold does no justice. They were fire v ice... Sean Connery  v George Lazenby...  Tom Jones  v Englebert Humperdink...  the Beatles v the Archies...

And in the end, the love they saved what not equal to the love they made they were what we feared: One & done, wild card punch-outs. 

For the last five or six games, we've awaited this defining moment: What happens when our luck runs out? Through this stretch, I've increasingly struggled to stay negative. I performed this Christlike task with no hint of self-agrandizement, even though it meant flailing against a rising tide of hope. I knew that any positive words about the Yankees could and would be held against us in the Court of Juju Gods law. 

The first rule of Juju is to never ever EVER express hope. (Note: That's why I stopped posting Ryan McBroom "sweep" photos; they clearly had become a juju gods trigger.) Remember: The juju gods are always watching, and they're bastards. They see you when you're sleeping, they know when you're awake - but unlike Santa, they only come to drop lumps of Kei Igawa into your stocking, as they did last August.

So, on that note, I offer some positive negatives about last night's wretched, 2-1 loss. 

1. It was great watching Boone go Amanda Heard on the home plate ump and get tossed. Good for him! Ever since he arrived on the MLB scene, Aaron Judge has been screwed by home plate umps who think his 6'7" frame means a strike zone the size of an area code. 

This could be Judge's career year (though, yeah, it's too early to talk tipsy) and it's time the Yankees made his expanded strike zone a thing.  (See above.) Today, across MLB, the TV analysts will be looking at video and - if their eyes work - realizing how badly Judge has been treated by home plate umps. This needs to become a national controversy - overruling the Jan. 6 insurrection and Roe/Wade.  From now on, whenever Judge gets squeezed, I hope Boone comes out charging, like Will Smith. I never thought I'd write these words (but hey, 11-straight wins do change you)... Good job, Boonie. 

2. When the Yankees last night seemed to rally against the Jays' unstoppable stopper, I had a feeling that we might witness Joey Gallo's "Jason Giambi game winning grand slam" moment, where he becomes a True Yankee. Obviously, I shouldn't have licked that toad. 

Turned out, Gallo drew a walk. Can't fault him. But one of these days, either he single-handedly wins us a game, or we will have to conclude that this horse simply isn't suited for Gotham. On the season, Gallo has three HRs - each a solo shot - and none that changed the course of a game. They came in:

April 26, in the fourth, making it 4-0 Yanks, in a 12-8 win over Balt.

April 27, in the seventh, making it 4-2, in a 5-2 win over Balt.

Last night, early, in the 2-1 loss to Toronto.

Look, a run is a run is run, but none of Gallo's blasts turned a game around. And this year, he has 4 measly RBIs. Four. Total. Last night, he came up with a chance to win the game... and swung through a 3-0 fastball. Then again... he did drew the walk. Can't blame him.  

But my heart sinks when he comes up in critical situations. He needs that moment. Actually, he needs a few. 

3. Friday night, Gerrit Cole pitches against Texas. He better shut them down. 

This is why they signed him, though he has not been the big game pitcher we dreamed of. The winning streak is over. We'll hand Cole the ball. Okay, Mister Life-long Yankee fan/superstar pitcher... now, what?

16 comments:

  1. It's time for us to march on the Commissioner's Office , totally dressed in black , and demand that Judge gets an equitable strike zone.
    If not, we should create a "Chaz" around the building.
    Declare martial law.
    No Judge Zone, No Peace.

    Just saying

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  2. Storm the field and Super-Glue our hands to home plate.

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  3. Can’t wait - CAN’T FUCKING WAIT- for the automated strike zone. That will also end the pitch framing nonsense. Maybe we’ll even have catchers who can, you know, hit?

    Meanwhile, I can’t rag on the team after 11 wins in a row. We lost for the usual reason, RISP fail, strikeouts at um, inopportune times.

    Friday we’ll return to the comfort of our comfy li’l park. Let’s win that series.

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  4. After seeing Gallo walk to the plate with 2 outs in the ninth inning and the tying run at second, I felt what most death row inmates probably feel when the Chaplin and prison guards come to take them for their last mile walk.

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  5. Carl J Weitz - would your last meal be a beer and a hot dog to dip in it?

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  6. I want my last meal to be a large bucket of, "Arizona Fried Road Runner Wings"

    It may take a while to catch that many road runners but that's OK,
    I'll wait.

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  7. AA...I'd demand a food that was out of season so they'd have to stay the execution until then.

    I'd be so depressed and anxious, I wouldn't be able to eat anything.

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  8. Carl Weitz, I love your auto-correct typo. "The Chaplin and the prison guard"? That would be a GREAT way to go to "the Dance Hall" (as they used to call it at Sing Sing).

    Sure, you're being marched to a hideous death...but there's the Little Tramp, performing all sorts of hilarious pratfalls by your side! Maybe he'd even do that dance with the potatoes thing. Why, you'd be laughin' right up to when they threw the switch!

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  9. Carl,

    Actually they could serve it to you anyway. What are you going to do, die from it?

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  10. Love that slogan, Archie!

    And, I gotta say...SO FAR—and that's a big caveat, but—SO FAR, this team looks a lot better than I thought it would. And the rest of our division looks a lot weaker.

    All of which can turn on a dime, I know, I know, juju furies!...


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  11. ...Will the pitching hold up? Who will get injured, and how bad? Hicks, of course, but who else?

    Above all, though, I think we need another hitter.

    Preferably a left-handed one. But as none such seems to be around, WE NEED MIGGY.

    Our catchers are hitting a combined .156, with 0 home runs and 7 ribbies. Much as Gleyber seems to have improved his all-around game, he's still batting .222, with just 3 homers and 3 walks. Great to see Falafel's recent surge...but he doesn't have a home run, either.

    Donaldson, Joey Whiffs...well, nuff ced.

    That's just too many dead spots in the lineup for us to go on being competitive, unless we want to invent a time machine and go back to 1906, heyday of The Hitless Wonders. As last night showed, we can still get shut down even by the stray tomato can.

    Of course, Gallo's home probably guarantees him at least another month of showing if he can do it. It should not. We need to stick him on the bench, make the OF Judge, Stanton, and Hicks, and put Miggy at DH, if we don't trust him to play the field at all—which seems to be the case.


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  12. Now they piss away the early season lead until you all starting acting normally again!! C'mon Commentariat!! This isn't the first time they've done this to us!! Tighten up!!

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  13. I will fondly remember April.

    Until the day comes when we are all back to happily raging at Harold, The Intern, and Booooone.

    Til then, I recommend, per an earlier post, that we sacrifice Joey Gallows to the JuJu gods. Though, considering his thunderous turd of a walk last night, the gods may not be appeased. They might want something a little more substantial.

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  14. AND FOR THE LAST TIME: JOEY GALLO IS A FUCKING USELESS, TURD-LET STUFFED FUCKFACED FUCK.

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  15. I fear it will not be the last time Win.

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  16. No, no it will not. I believe you are correct, RichardAl.

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