Those Who Do Not Bottom Feed Will Not Get Fruit Cup!

 

Sportswriters, who like to write about major-league baseball as if it were junior varsity high school ball, will no doubt insist that the Yankees' glorious season of 2022 came a-cropper due to the fact that Horrible Josh Donaldson killed their mojo by so grievously insulting Timorous Timmy Anderson and Lyin' Tony La Russa.  

(Even as they personally do everything possible to make that distraction a reality.)

In fact, Donaldson was a(nother) terrible pick-up by GM Cooperstown Cashman, not so much because he dared to utter the words "J----- R-------" but because through nearly two months of the campaign the aged third sacker is hitting all of .238 with just 15 ribbies.  

Much as it's fun to moan about the mojo, in baseball—as it has oft been said—momentum is the next day's pitcher. In our case, that was our alleged ace, Gerrit "Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Lose and Sometimes the Lack of Ticky-Tack Gets Ahold of You" Cole. Who...came up short. Against the Baltimore Orioles.

Needing to do some truly gargantuan bottom-feeding before the schedule tightened again, your New York Yankees found themselves presented with the gift (we don't say "gifted") of 14 straight games against said Orioles and the J----- R------- inspired Chicago White Sox.

Against these perfect palookas, the Yanks started off red hot, going 6-1. Visions of an 11-3 or even 12-2 skein were dancing in our heads. 

Now, all of a sudden, they are just 7-5, meaning that an insufficient 9-5 is the best result possible, and that they may well do no better than split even, 7-7, against the dregs of the American League.

The problem isn't that Dopey Donaldson stole away their mojo. It's that this team lacked, from the beginning:

—A reliable closer.

—A reliable ace.

—A bullpen that could not keep from being overworked.

—A lineup that was anything more than four deep.

—Any depth, in the Bronx or in the minor leagues, that could rescue the club when the inevitable injuries started to deplete this dangerously overaged team. As they are doing now.

I would bring in Howard Cosell to say, "You heard it here, first"—except that I don't think this analysis was due to any particular perspicacity on my part. 

Instead, it should have been quite evident to any and all who have been following the Yankees during the course of Brian Cashman's career, and can judge the situation with any objectivity. 

(This last, of course, exempting pretty much every press box denizen of New York, who seem to bolt down more and more of the access Kool-Aid every year.)

The sheer number of tankers and soon-to-be tankers in the Junior Circuit will likely allow the Bronx team to go on competing for the Wild Card Play-In spot for much of the season. O happy day.

In the meantime, prepare yourself for those true bottom-feeders, the Tampa Bay Rays, who get a shot at our crumbling team next. 

I'd say drop that fruit cup, if you value your hand.