 |
Saluting the late attorney, New Yorker, and Lionel model train heir, Roy Cohn... ...who provided legal representation and advice to the New York Yankees' late principal owner George Steinbrenner... . ...as well as to John Gotti, Rupert Murdoch, Joe McCarthy, Donald Trump, Studio 54, Alan Dershowitz, Roger Stone, and The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of New York. |
UPDATE: Check out this lineup. It's like when Perry White had to let Jimmy Olsen be editor-in-chief for a day!
- Cabrera
- Judge
- Torres
- Guzman
- Andujar
- Kiner-Falefa
- Florial
- Higashioka
- Peraza
Next they will be choosing people at random from the stands.
ReplyDeleteLol..
DeleteNot exactly Murderers' Row. It's more like Aggravated Assaulters.
ReplyDeleteBut why is this day Roy Cohn Day?
ReplyDeleteAnd sure, Torres has played worse than almost any player in baseball for over two months now. Put him in the 3 hole!
ReplyDeletePoor Roy, another victim of the watermelon diet.
ReplyDeleteAt this point, the Yankees should have Judge pull a Bobby Valentine. Dress him up in fake glasses, mustache and uniform number. Have him pose as someone else.. Or delete the glasses and have him wear Stanton's # 27. Just hide Giancarlo and make sure the fake player hits 6 batters away.
ReplyDeleteWell, BJPB, at least Roy wasn't a victim of death by a lead poison diet by sitting at a window table in an Italian restaurant in Brooklyn like several of his clients.
ReplyDeleteBut why is every day Roy Cohn day?
ReplyDeleteIt's got to do with civics and I really don't understand it.
ReplyDeleteRoy was trained early, as we all are. One of his earliest memories was driving around with his mother, stopping at phone booth after phone booth while she made calls—pretending to be different people—haranguing the DA for prosecuting Roy's favorite uncle, Bernard Marcus.
ReplyDeleteRoy's grandfather had started the fabled "Pants Pressers' Bank," the Bank of United States, down on Delancey St., in 1913. It had grown from handling the deposits of garment workers to being one of the biggest banks in New York. But Bernard and his partners were caught over extended by the Crash, and the other big banks wouldn't help bail him out—some said because of anti-Semitism.
In any case, the Pants Pressers' Bank went down in a classic bank run, and Uncle Bernie went to Sing Sing. Practically from Day One, Roy was immersed in a family culture of grievance, and felt justified to do anything he wanted to get his way.
Like cohn or hate him, his life is really interesting. Connected to so many different American paths.
DeleteDa fuck was that random shit...it's like the lineup came outta blender
ReplyDeleteThey’re trying to finish this game in two hours…
ReplyDeleteCould have turned off your set right there…
Florial now batting.048…that is not a typo…
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteRoy was also an advisor to Richard Nixon, and served as an advisor to the House UnAmerican Activities Committee.
As ugly an American as this lineup
Cohn's granddad had the Pants Pressers' Bank. Roy just concentrated on the zippers on the front.
ReplyDeleteI know, I know...
We’ll played, JM
ReplyDeleteLillian Hellman famously referred to Cohn, his love interest, David Schine, and Joe McCarthy, as "Bonnie, Bonnie, and Clyde."
ReplyDeleteBut that's completely awful, and not to be tolerated! (Though it is kinda, a little bit...funny.)
I hope the team can channel some of that Cohn fight. He did fight.
ReplyDeleteThats the most speed ive seen in a yankee lineup in memory. Can they get on base? Well.....
Judge!!!
ReplyDeleteCohn!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's German 3, Judge 1.
ReplyDeleteAssist by Florial.
ReplyDeleteI missed the early part of the game. I saw the score was 3-1 and I immediately thought, "solo shot, Judge."
ReplyDeleteOf course, I didn't exactly have to be Carnac the Magnificent for that one.
Torres!!!
ReplyDeleteGleyber Day!!!
ReplyDeleteGuzman 3 Ks so far. He's Yankees material.
ReplyDeleteA Gleyber sighting!
ReplyDeleteSo, inning before, you have Florial, who is fast and little else on first. You have Higgy, who is not hitty, at the plate. So you...let Higgy hit away, into a double-play.
Boone is a dope. But I know that's not news.
Boone is an idiot.
ReplyDeleteI just like typing that.
ReplyDeleteHow is Scranton fielding a team tonight? They’re all up here!
Scranton took the night off - they're all at the local Chuck E. Cheese, living the dream.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteNot only is Boooooone a dope (and an idiot) he’s inexperienced. He’s the three true managerial outcomes!
Judge must be looking around him in the dugout, and think he’s back in Scranton!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteAA, it looks like you and I are the only masochists today
No Pain No Gain, DA
ReplyDeleteHicks?
ReplyDeleteI don't get "prime video." But I'm checking in from time to time.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteSwing for the fences!
ReplyDeleteYou’re not missing anything Horace
Hicks had to hit the dirt.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing he’s hit all year.
Peraza has three hits today.
ReplyDeleteBoooone will have to rest him tonight.
Hicks may have fractured something on that play
ReplyDeleteMust be exhausted, poor thing.
ReplyDeleteAA, we can hope.
ReplyDeleteAs in 2017, the kids are as good or better than the guys they're filling in for.
ReplyDeleteExcept Florial.
ReplyDeleteGreat play by IKF. At third. Where he should always be.
I understand that Stanton was almost ready to go today, but then he had a negative thought.
ReplyDeleteAll right. COME ON, YANKEES! Got to win this before we get to Manfred Man time! C'mon, Guzman!
ReplyDeleteDo you know what that thought was, HC?
ReplyDelete"I wonder if I can bench press that blonde in row six."
ReplyDeleteHow's anyone disappointed in Ralph? He's just fine.
ReplyDeleteWhy isn't this a 7 inning game since it's a double- header? They did play seven-inning games earlier in the year if I remember correctly.
ReplyDeleteGonna be a long day.
ReplyDeleteI thought they dropped that this year, Carl.
ReplyDelete"You'll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent". Cavities too.
ReplyDeleteMost likely, JM . I guess time has flown faster than I realized.
ReplyDelete@JM they did drop the 7 inning double header…
ReplyDeleteThis is maddening baseball. Virtually anonymous players, devoid of basic competence. This is not the game I signed up for.
ReplyDelete"I don't understand so much", John Sterling, Sept 7 2022, Bronx NY
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteAmong many other Yankee things that breaks my heart -- and my balls -- this year is the invisibility of Miggy A.
I know, I know -- NYYs management broke the poor guy. And the injury.
But I like and root for the guy. He just isn't there when we need him.
Once upon a time, he was.
Hoss, I'm enjoying this more than any game in weeks. I like the kids. Cabrera is great in right. Peraza is hitting. Guzman is at least a real first baseman. This is fun.
ReplyDeleteIt's bizarre. Even with terrible-hitting Yankees teams of the past—with guys like Jerry Kenney or Jake Gibbs—I never felt like they would NEVER get a hit. Now, I frequently get that feeling.
ReplyDeletePublius, I'm with him.
ReplyDeleteTerrible at bat by Trevino.
ReplyDeleteBalk
ReplyDeleteTalk
Cabrera cannot play at this level. Even Hicks world be a better option. I can’t believe I just wrote that, but there it is. I said I meant it.
ReplyDeleteSo...nobody, even on the farm, knows how to bunt. Incredible. And even in this sort of situation, Ma Boone has no dispensation to put on a play?
ReplyDeleteCohn’s best move was hoovering Hoover and threatening to tell Tolsen.
ReplyDeleteCut from the same cloth in way more ways than one.
I wish I had half Cohns wits. I’m just a wage earner with no angle :(.
Cabrera is doing a nice job in the outfield, but he is not a major league hitter. He was put in a terrible position by Boone hitting him lead-off. It's like Boone is trying to get himself fired.
ReplyDeleteBoone should go to the Copacabana, get drunk and beat up a bowler like a real Yankee. Fuck! DO SOMETHING CORRECTLY FOR ONCE!!
Fuck me.
Amazing
ReplyDeleteGuzman looks bad.
ReplyDelete4 strikeouts and a 3-2-3 double play. It's remarkable.
ReplyDelete"Amazing! That is amazing," The Master.
Why did we suit up the Hudson Valley Renegades today?
Marwin. Barrel scraping.
ReplyDeleteUgliness
ReplyDeleteBases loaded, nobody out, nothing.
ReplyDeleteThe Master is like a great scholar tonight. "Bases loaded and no out. If the Yankees lose the game, they have no kick. No Kick."
ReplyDeleteNo fucking kick, indeed.
Fuck.
That, my droogs, is rock fucking bottom.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't believe it. I was checking on this, periodically, on the YES website play-by-play. Bases loaded, nobody out. I came back two minutes later...they're going into the 12th.
ReplyDeleteHow is this POSSIBLE?
There is simply no excuse for never putting on a play.
Stanton watched the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteIf there's a golden...........lining to all of this - its that Donaldson is now on paternity leave.
ReplyDelete13 Ks, 3 DPs, 8 LOB. Horrible.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I think that somehow The Mick would've grabbed a bat somewhere along the way.
ReplyDeleteGeez HC - give 'em time . .
ReplyDeleteThere's still another half an inning to go.
It could finish off at 15Ks, 3DPs, 9 LOB when we lose
ReplyDeleteMarinaccio, having caused a grievous injury to the Yankees chances, is now removed so that Wipeout can administer the coup de grace.
ReplyDeleteWeissert is okay by me. His introductory outing was also wildly entertaining.
ReplyDeleteEYE KAY EFFFFFFFFFFING RBI !!!!
ReplyDeleteI like that guy.
ReplyDeleteDammit Yanks, just losing and end of this game already.
ReplyDeleteIt’s not like you don’t fucking lose all the damn time
Lousy night for Florial. AAAA player?
ReplyDeleteRalph steals second.
ReplyDeleteTrevino almost fucked that up.
ReplyDeleteBunt, Ozzie.
ReplyDeleteWe got lucky ... IKF was out at third.
ReplyDeletePull a Rizzo
ReplyDeleteYankees Win!!!
ReplyDeleteDOn'T KILL the kid - he's gotta play in the next game
ReplyDeleteThu-uhuhuhu-uhuhuh-UHUH These Our 2022 New York Yankees/Hudson Valley Renegades WIN!!!
ReplyDeleteFuck. Me.
ReplyDeleteIn. The. Shower.
Cabrera can stay.
ReplyDelete"And a child shall lead them" ??? Ugh.
ReplyDeleteKay has had that line teed up for a while, just waiting to use it.
And he shouldn't have.
I don't know about that, Bern.
ReplyDeleteOut at third part
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFinally
ReplyDeleteHEY STANG!!! ?
ReplyDeleteDoes the next game get it's own thread?
Will it be Truman Capote Night?
I thought the line was corny even for Kay. I cringe at the lines that he's obviously rehearsed and had waiting for a walk-off.
ReplyDelete(Unless you wwere talking about IKF. It looked to me like he was tagged on the helmet before his hand got to the bag.)
Bern, I had the same thought about Kay.
ReplyDeleteAnswering your prayers, AA?
ReplyDeleteAll right, AboveAverage. Stand by.
ReplyDeleteBern, the tag missed. Even the laces.
ReplyDeleteOswaldo Alberto Cabrera seems to be a genuinely nice guy.
ReplyDeleteHe deserved an offensive walk-off moment at Yankee stadium - given all he's done defensively - so far.
On the IKF play, looking at the replay it looks like the glove grazed his helmet just before then hand got in there. But I ain't complaining.
ReplyDeleteNot at all impressed with this. Opportunity after opportunity was squandered.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA - JM - that made me laugh almost as much as your line from months earlier about the irony of someone named AA giving advice on mixed drinks.
ReplyDeleteTruman Capote? Not even in the same league. To follow up a vicious queer you need and epically viciously cruel queer. I nominate my freshman year of high English teacher, Don Hamingson.
ReplyDeleteDid Don have you read any Capote?
ReplyDeleteYou know what that was?
ReplyDeleteI'll bite - what was it?
ReplyDeleteThat win I mean?
ReplyDeleteHappy to put up a new game thread. Just gimme a minute.
ReplyDeleteOh, I see, it's already up. Great!
ReplyDeleteBBB, you're right, it was a terrible line. Especially when hearing the whole thing: "And a child shall lead them....onto a 5-4 victory." Just terrible
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteWhere would the Yankees be without the Twinkies over the last five years?