Five takeaways from all the takeaways of this nothing-burger Yankees takeaway

1. With or without Aaron Judge, the Yankees are screwed to their deadbolts. Unless they pull off the Mother of All Salary Dumps, they'll spend $53 million next year on Giancarlo Stanton and Josh Donaldson, $25 million on DJ LeMahieu and Aaron Hicks, and $32 million on Gerrit Cole, who will be 33. Considering ages, tweaked gonads, and the stress fatigue of Gotham, it's easy to imagine $100 million burning at home plate like Scott Proctor's uniform after a torching.

2. With or without Brian Cashman, the Yankees are screwed to the lug nuts. Unless Shallow Hal Steinbrenner ends his self-imposed austerity budgets, the Death Barge will once again pass on international free agents - tough luck, Japan, Korea and Cuba! - and scour the badlands for scrap heap metals. It might cost $50 million per year to keep Judge. Would such a spending splurge leave him naked in the Yankee lineup, with nobody to protect him? (Spoiler alert: Stanton can't do it.) 

3. The AL East is bubbling with change. After six wretched years devoted to tanking, Baltimore is finally on the rise, with a great young catcher and two of MLB's highest rated prospects. Tampa is Tampa, perpetually reborn. Toronto still has the nucleus of a championship team, and Boston - well - they look like a sadder version of us  - until they sign a few stars. In the second half of 2022, the Yankees went 35 and 35. 

4. We can be angry, but we cannot be surprised. In early June, when we had the best record in baseball, Yank fans knew that a) this team would only be measured by its success in October, and b) HR/K teams usually get shut down by great pitching. We saw this collapse coming, in YES-Mo. In retrospect, though, it's amazing how thin our bullpen turned out to be. Losing Chapman, Michael King, Chad Green - the kicker was Scott Effross - crushed us. (Had we somehow beaten Houston Sunday night, who would have relieved on Monday, Donaldson?) And all those trades over the last two years - the piles of young arms we dealt away for Joey Gallo, Frankie Montas, et al - the are going to have long term implications. 

5. Seriously, unless Food Stamps Hal steps up, the 2023 Yankees are going to be gobsmacked by fiscal reality. If Judge walks, the franchise will see a gaping hole in its legacy brand marketing.  Whose picture goes on the spring  training cover, Stanton? Yeesh. Our best hope is that Hal looks across town, sees Steve Cohen spending mad money to win, and quietly decides he's had enough, and it's time to sell the team to a trillionaire willing to put his ego on the line. 

That's what Hal has never done - put himself out there, frying in the spotlight - even though he makes the final decisions. He lets stooges like Cashman and Boone take the flack. The YES announcers fearlessly denounce each Yankee loss, and the manager's failed decisions, but they go strangely silent on the matter of the team's owner. 

In that regards, our Yankee fan wet dream - Jeter as GM and Mattingly as manager - could take on the suspicious tone of a desperate p.r. stunt - window dressing for a failed organization. Here's a bet: If Judge walks, Cashman will be replaced by Jeter in a sad ploy to restore respect. 

The Yankee future looks as dark as its immediate past. And that, my friends, is one lightness nightmare. 

Finally, I want to thank you all for sticking with us over the last six months. I don't how we would have made it. This community continually saves me in ways that words have a hard time expressing. There are times when all is lost, but I know that Hoss will have something to say, or the WinWarblist, or Rufus, or Carl, or LBJ, all of you - you know who you are - pull me off the ledge. You fucking save me. 

Oh, and we will soon start hearing from Alphonso again. He's been on a drinking tour of France, and he's pissed as hell. It's not gonna be pretty.