I trust that you're enjoying a well deserved vacation in Italy!
Never been there, myself. But I have...
a) watched Stanley Tucci on TV, and
b) visited the "Little Italy" section of Utica, NY.
My travel tip? Shaker cheese! Don't hold back!
Look, I'm trying to be affable here. I'm sorry for the things we've said about you on this blog. It wasn't me. It's the commenters. They're out of control. Nobody can stop them. Frankly, I fear them. Once they get a load on, the next thing you know, they're raving about Scott Proctor or Colter Bean, and it's all I can do to steer the conversation into positivity, which is - (cough) - what I'm known for.
Okay, let me get to the point: You did a great thing by re-signing Aaron Judge. You're officially off my shit list. But the Yankees need more. Specifically, we need Carlos Rodon. He's our shaker cheese.
Sign Rodon, and the Yankees have a shot in 2023.
Sign Rodon. Over the last two seasons, he's been one of baseball's best starting pitchers. He's only 29 (for the next few days.) Add him to Cole and Nasty Nestor, and we'll have the best front three in the AL East.
Sign Rodon. Abandon the idea that somebody will trade us a solid starter. They won't. It's always a Pineda, a Sonny Gray. This notion that we can trade for starters? It's the biggest gaslighting since Europe discovered "Greenland."
Sign Rodon. You can't stop now. In for a penny, in for a pound!
Sign Rodon, and the Yankees will still own NYC.
Sign Rodon, and you'll save our bullpen from collapse.
Sign Rodon, and then... we can start thinking about the hole in left field.
And remember: Shaker cheese.
Best thing I’ve ever read at 5:19 AM.
ReplyDeleteShaker Cheese, indeed!
One of my favorite Japanese movies was Rodon vs. Godzilla. A classic.
ReplyDeleteFunny JM, because for me it’s always been High and Low.
ReplyDeleteI much prefer the cheese grater to the cheese shaker.
ReplyDeleteMost people on the street will tell you Carl that you couldn’t have one without the other.
ReplyDeleteAnything exciting happening in Branford over the next week…?
ReplyDeleteAA, I'm not sure, but weed sales start on Jan. 10.
ReplyDeleteThat's another great use for a cheese grater then . . . .
ReplyDeleteNow that you mention it, it is, isn't it? See, that's why you need more than a shaker.
ReplyDeleteBesides, they make nice furniture, but are kind of prudish. Probably not in favor of weed.
Then keep it on the ready for your favorite hard cheeses!
ReplyDelete1) As a kid I loved Shaker Pudding.
ReplyDelete2) Yes sign Rodon. Too bad Hideki Matsui is no longer on the team because... imagine if Godzilla and Rodon played on the same team! That would be a story worth telling. Perhaps on The Moth(ra) I'll stop now.
3) Send Donaldson out to buy some weed on Jan 10th and hope that it mellows him out and makes him realize that he's already made a ton of money and would rather do something meaningful "for the kids".
Help him create "The Josh Donaldson Experience" a touring show about the power of love and forgiveness. Give him the Partridge Family Tour Bus and a banjo as a going away present.
Last,
Trade for Brian Reynolds and that would be a wrap.
--
Personal Note: After the sun goes down I will be spending the next ten days gazing at my navel. I hope to find more than lint. I'll let you know.
In the meantime I leave you all with this...
https://tricycle.org/magazine/koans-yogi-berra/
Just had an odd thought.
ReplyDeleteHouston Chronicle: "Brittney Griner lands in Texas after 10-month Russian detention"
Where, if she lights up a doobie... she will be arrested again.
Let'a all hope Mr. Steinbrenner is listening to you, Duque.
ReplyDeleteOne of your funniest posts of the year, Duque!
ReplyDeleteAnd JM, the Shakers were "kind of prudish"? They don't exist anymore, because they refused to be fruitful and multiply. Once did see a re-enactment of a Shaker service, in which everybody worked themselves up into ecstatic dancing and finally vibrating around the floor until they were exhausted.
Whole lotta sublimation goin' on.
ReplyDeleteI noticed, Senor El Duque, you didn't address your latest missive to The Intern, and I know why:
He has no idea.
OK, Dick, "very very very prudish." But boy, could they dance!
ReplyDeleteRodon reportedly wants 7 years…Hal make it so…
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteAt this rate, with all these long-term contracts, it will be old-timers day all season long.