Friday, February 24, 2023

Calling Matt Nokes: The Yankees have a major hole behind the plate

Turns out that "Bad News Ben" Rortvedt, the human pin cushion, has far worse than a bum finger: Those tingles he reported last week stemmed from an aneurism in his shoulder. He had surgery yesterday. Let's wish him well. (Hilarious snarky comments deleted.)   

But but BUT... here's the thing: 

We. Are. Screwed. 

The Rort will miss a couple months. He was our No. 3 catcher. Now? Well, No. 3 is just a concept. Here's the current depth chart (as proposed by Mike Axisa, in his Patreon site; subscribe to it):

Yankees: Jose Trevino and Kyle Higashioka (Fun Fact: Both will play in the World Baseball Classic, so who catches spring training?) 

Scranton Railriders
: Josh Breaux, Rodolfo DurĂ¡n and Mickey Gasper 

Somerset: Austin Wells and Anthony Seigler 

High-A Hudson Valley: Antonio Gomez and Carlos Narvaez

Low-A Tampa: Agustin Ramirez, Alex Guerrero, anybody with a pulse

Question: What here gives us hope? 

Trevino spent the second half of 2022 reverting into a pumpkin. Higgy has never hit outside of spring training. We're a tweaked gonad away from Mickey "The Gasp" Gasper, age 27, who hit .266 last year at Somerset, and 5'9" Rudolfo Duran (aka "Hands of Stone?") who hit .222 there. (Note: It's possible that Gasper ranks Number 3 on the All-Time Yankee Mickey List, behind Mickey Klutts and some other guy.) There's talk about Austin Wells - he of the mystery bruised ribs - but Wells is a legitimate prospect who needs Triple A experience. They could traumatize the kid by bringing him up too soon.

Meanwhile, nobody - NOBODY - is going to trade us a catcher, unless his fingers are tingling, and even then, they'll demand a pallet of Ozempic in return. The situation looks so dire that we may actually be pondering the return of Gary Sanchez, the man who invented "Defensive Indifference." 

The bottom third of our Opening Day batting order could easily be Aaron Hicks, IKF and Higgy. Great time to make a sandwich.  

So, tell me, please... what gives us hope? Show of hands? Class? Anyone?

Okay, here's my cheeriest thought. Dumpster diving was always Cooperstown Cashman's greatest skill. Some 30something dude will get sent to Salt Lake City or Armadillo, and Cashman will be on him like ketchup on Tatter Tots.  

Somewhere out there, some team is sitting on our No. 3. Nobody knows it yet. But he's out there. And he might just be the most important player we add this spring. 

17 comments:

  1. They will inevitably get another catcher off the scrap heap...Ca$hman loves the bargain basement...

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  2. Yup, look for a Rob Brantley type any time now. Brantley is plying his very particular set of skills for the Buffalo Bison team this season, but there are other square-jawed candidates out there. Wells needs to be at SWB this year, and made ready to join the Nike Yankees this year.

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  4. I read somewhere, and I apologize to the writer for not remembering where, a truly longshot trade that made sense in a bizarre if impossible way...

    Have I provided enough disclaimers and distance?

    The Yankees trade with the Brewers to get William (not his brother Wilson) Conteras. He is 25 years old. Hit .260 28HRS with an .860 OPS to be our starting catcher for the next several years. Nice!

    We trade them our top catching prospect plus one of our current catchers, plus Gleyber, and a top ten prospect whose is not the Martian or Volpe and whose name does not begin with Oswal...

    Why would Milwaukee do this?

    There is a catch. Not a catcher. A catch...

    We also take former superstar Christian Yelich.

    The Good

    He plays Left Field!

    He's a former 2x All Star
    He's a former MVP
    He's a former 2X Batting Champ
    He's a former Gold Glove

    Plus, he's the guy we wanted instead of Stanton!

    Did I mention he plays Left Field?

    The Bad

    My constant use of the word former.

    The man is a shell of his former self. (There's that word former again.)

    He's 31 years old and signed thru 2028, 9 yrs/$215M (20-28) & 29 mutual option. So another albatross contract. If we had Uncle Steve as the owner it wouldn't matter but we don't. The Brewers would love to get out from under that obligation.

    You know... like the Twins were with Donaldson. But this will work out better. I promise. What could go wrong?

    Did I mention he plays left field?


    ----

    Having a great hitting catcher would be fun though? Right?

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  5. I'm all for that one, Doug. Yelich will come here and start to hit again, if he finds the right juice cocktail.

    But look for the Cash-hole to bring back Gary Sanchez. It's a very high probability. That move would fit perfectly into the current Yankee playbook.

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  6. Hammer -

    Thanks. I would like to see it as well. Sort of a killing two birds with one millstone kind of deal.

    I didn't address the 3rd catcher situation though. Then I realized we don't have to. Our third catcher is IKF!!!!

    It's on his resume. "Positions: Shortstop, Third Baseman and Catcher."

    Problem solved.

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  7. IKF was the emergency C last year and does have actual MLB experience behind the dish. Honk if you actually want to see that, though.

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  8. The Yankees have a major hole at GM.

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  9. There will be no honkin'. I was kidding. We need to find a "real" catcher. I hear Jesus Montero is considering a comeback. He hasn't played in MLB since 2015 so he will be all rested up.

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  10. Trevino is skipping the WBC, so no worries. Smirk.

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  11. Austin Romine will be available soon. They also placed call to J.R.Murphy.
    Joel Skinner won't return Cashman's calls

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  12. Is Jake Gibbs still alive? I thought when Ca$hman drafted 7 catchers a few years back that the position was going to be a strength. Chris Stewart is only 41, maybe they can him a 2 year deal. Wasn't he the greatest pitch framer ever!

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  13. Hmm, Cashman constructing a seasonal roster without a clear plan? Wow, that's a new one!

    Doug, I love that deal idea. It's crazy enough to work out.

    BUT...999, you're on to the season-saving solution!

    IKF behind the plate means the Oswaldii and Volpe getting a real shot at shortstop. And honestly, Falafel could not possibly hit worse than Higgy—or field worse than he did at SS. I say skin that smoke wagon, and see what happens!!

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  14. IKF's rag arm will bounce the ball back to the pitcher, unfortunately

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  15. We have nothing to worry about. My new favorite Yankee Apologist rag, aka NJ.com, ran a front sports page article that Volpe got what would have beeb a hit to RF, a hit to LF and one to CF in BP off LIVE PITCHING!!!!!!

    Wow, and I thought Mattingly was good!

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  16. Wait a minute ... Mickey Gasper could be third on the All-Time Yankee Mickey List behind Klutts and "some other guy"????

    I'm assuming the other guy is an outfielder from Oklahoma who won a Triple Crown in the 1950s.

    But aren't you forgetting someone?


    MICKEY RIVERS!!!

    Sorry. "The Gasp" is relegated to fourth.

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