Calling Matt Nokes: The Yankees have a major hole behind the plate

Turns out that "Bad News Ben" Rortvedt, the human pin cushion, has far worse than a bum finger: Those tingles he reported last week stemmed from an aneurism in his shoulder. He had surgery yesterday. Let's wish him well. (Hilarious snarky comments deleted.)   

But but BUT... here's the thing: 

We. Are. Screwed. 

The Rort will miss a couple months. He was our No. 3 catcher. Now? Well, No. 3 is just a concept. Here's the current depth chart (as proposed by Mike Axisa, in his Patreon site; subscribe to it):

Yankees: Jose Trevino and Kyle Higashioka (Fun Fact: Both will play in the World Baseball Classic, so who catches spring training?) 

Scranton Railriders: Josh Breaux, Rodolfo Durán and Mickey Gasper 

Somerset: Austin Wells and Anthony Seigler 

High-A Hudson Valley: Antonio Gomez and Carlos Narvaez

Low-A Tampa: Agustin Ramirez, Alex Guerrero, anybody with a pulse

Question: What here gives us hope? 

Trevino spent the second half of 2022 reverting into a pumpkin. Higgy has never hit outside of spring training. We're a tweaked gonad away from Mickey "The Gasp" Gasper, age 27, who hit .266 last year at Somerset, and 5'9" Rudolfo Duran (aka "Hands of Stone?") who hit .222 there. (Note: It's possible that Gasper ranks Number 3 on the All-Time Yankee Mickey List, behind Mickey Klutts and some other guy.) There's talk about Austin Wells - he of the mystery bruised ribs - but Wells is a legitimate prospect who needs Triple A experience. They could traumatize the kid by bringing him up too soon.

Meanwhile, nobody - NOBODY - is going to trade us a catcher, unless his fingers are tingling, and even then, they'll demand a pallet of Ozempic in return. The situation looks so dire that we may actually be pondering the return of Gary Sanchez, the man who invented "Defensive Indifference." 

The bottom third of our Opening Day batting order could easily be Aaron Hicks, IKF and Higgy. Great time to make a sandwich.  

So, tell me, please... what gives us hope? Show of hands? Class? Anyone?

Okay, here's my cheeriest thought. Dumpster diving was always Cooperstown Cashman's greatest skill. Some 30something dude will get sent to Salt Lake City or Armadillo, and Cashman will be on him like ketchup on Tatter Tots.  

Somewhere out there, some team is sitting on our No. 3. Nobody knows it yet. But he's out there. And he might just be the most important player we add this spring.