Yessiree, bob. Reports say Frugal Hal Steinbrenner and his hall of fame brain trust could go ALL-IN next winter, if Machado opts out of his 10-year-deal with San Diego. (And aside from prison inmates, who spends 10 years in San Diego? Seriously, how many times can you visit Sea World?) According to the internet, the Yankees "flirted" with Manny four years ago, when he last limp-legged the open market.
"Flirted." That's the word. The Yankees "flirted" with Machado in the way that Vladimir Putin flirts with the Nobel Peace Prize. Sadly, their Pete Davidson/Whatever Still Walks romance was never meant to be. Ahh, such golden moments..
Remember how Manny and Bryce Harper both came a-courtin' to Gotham, hoping to coax shy Hal Belle out of her shell? Machado's wife wanted to live in her home town, NYC. Harper had famously grown up a Yank fan and sought to fulfil his childhood dreams. The Yankees took each out to dinner, then skipped out through a back door, ran home and hid under their beds, screaming "LALALALA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" until the phones stopped clanging.
The House of Steinbrenner - the former mighty powerhouse, built on money and fueled with bombast - never made an offer, terrified that Machado or Harper would accept.
So, now, four years later, we're supposed to believe the Yanks would be all-in on Machado next year? Yeah, and I'm the Easter Bunny.
The Yankees have now sat out through two straight winters, each loaded with all-star free agent shortstops, because a kid named Anthony Volpe had a breakout 2021 season in Single A. You'd think he was the Second Coming of Number 2, which is a hell of a boulder to pile on a 20-year-old. (That said, Volpe is the second-most hyped Yankee prospect: The "Martian," Jasson Dominguez, has received even more ink.) Last year, around now, they were lowballing Aaron Judge, hoping to snag him at a bargain price. He shamed them by hitting 62 HRs, and, in November, they still nearly lost Judge to San Francisco.
Look... I don't mean to always end up whining about Prince Hal. For one thing, it gets tiring. For another, he did step up this winter - spending big on Judge, Anthony Rizzo and Carlos Rodon. But let's not kid ourselves: New York has one big-spending goliath, and it ain't us, anymore. We can fantasize Machado in pinstripes, but the Death Barge let him slide four years ago, and they won't outbid the world for him next year.
Let's hope Volpe is worth the wait. In the meantime, let's be real about how much more Hal will spend. The holes on this current team - LF, SS, 3B - will be filled with whatever we already have. And come next winter, we'll be hiding under the bed once again.
If this team sucks, Ca$hman will do what he does best and the only thing he's capable of doing and that's throwing $$$ at has-bins. Machado, some 35 yr pitcher, you name it. He will do whatever it takes to save his "legacy", lol.
ReplyDeleteSports are entertainment. Sportswriters are entertainers. Hal is a cheap, bland, weasely, born on third base, baseball non-fan, and Cashman is a hollow-eyed, lying, ass-covering puppet on a string. The Grand Wizard of Wrestling had more sincerity than those two put together.
ReplyDeleteThe Grand Wizard at least managed World Champions!
ReplyDeleteJM has put it succinctly above.
ReplyDeleteThe time to sign MM was 4 years ago. Does anybody here really think the team should, or even would, add another 7 years plus contract north of 300M on a 31 y/o player? Consider the possibility that Volpe, Peraza, Cabrera, Domiguez, Jones, Wells, Et al fail to become impact players and we are left with a group of aged, injury prone 35 y/o players creaking around the field as the team struggles to play .500 ball? At least that would probably incite the long hoped for fan revolt that would oust Boone and Cashman (though cashman would undoubtedly simply be kicked upstairs) The only impetus for change for Steingrubber would be loss of revenue.
Boone, Cashman and Hal are all sitting around commiserating:
ReplyDeleteBoone says: "I have to get up and pee every night around four."
Cash says: "That's nothing, at five, I need to get up and take a dump."
Hal says: "I pee and dump at six-thirty every morning."
Boone and Cash are mystified: "How is that a problem?"
Hal says: "I get out of bed at seven."
The moral of the story?
ReplyDeleteThe Yankees "braintrust" is suffering from early-onset dementia. A disease that you don't really notice until it's too late.
You might have something there, Dick. They certainly show a lot of the symptoms.
ReplyDeleteHal won't go after Manny. He worries about the Luxury Tax.
ReplyDeleteMachado always reminds me of an old tune by the Fletcher Henderson big band called Knock Knock:
ReplyDeleteKnock knock.
Who's there?
Manny.
Manny who?
Manny, manny thanks to you.
Of course, the best lyric is...
ReplyDeleteKnock knock knock
Who's there?
Fletcher.
Fletcher who?
Fletcher self go!
Dick,
ReplyDeleteI'm stealing that joke, because, well, I know people it's appropriate for.
Fool me once, shame on you.
ReplyDeleteLie to me 20,000 times more, still thinking you can fool me, even though I'm shouting at the top of my lungs, "You're not fooling anyone, you know!"...well, enough already.
Loved the Putin and Pete Davidson lines, Duque, and well-put indeed, JM.
But I just really don't know who they think they are hoodwinking anymore with this sort of malarkey. I don't know why they bother.