Is it a NYC thing? Did an Uber driver ditch him in Staten? Did a roach turn up in his soup? Is it management? When Vlad Jr. signed in 2015, age 16, did a Yank scout insult him? Is it some player? Did Aroldis shave him? Did fans yell hurtful taunts? Did a hooker break his heart? Was it something Bill DeBlasio did? (When in doubt, blame DeBlasio.)
Junior says it's personal. We'll have to wait for his memoir, as told to Joyce Carol Oates.
Apparently, all those millions the Yanks spent on p.r. didn't sway the Guerrero family of Montreal. So be it. Everybody doesn't like something.
However... I am not so timid in expressing love and hatred toward the sports team that captured my childhood obsessions. Why did I become a crazed Yank fan? I do not believe I ever had another choice.
Growing up, my favorite cartoons were Mickey Mouse and Yogi Bear. Who would they have translated into?
I turned 9 in a year remembered for the greatest baseball team in history, with two sluggers named for my favorite delicacy - M&Ms. They chased the legacy of a favored candy bar, the Baby Ruth. Was I not groomed?
For years, I viewed myself lucky to be a Yankee fan, because the team outspent all others in building the baseball's premier history.
I never worried about a player's price tag. No Yank fan did. If a free agent came on the market, everyone knew the Yankees would outbid all others. In life, I struggled to pay the rent, but in my baseball fantasies, I never fretted over payroll. There, I was the millionaire. If other fans hated the Yankees, fine. The New York Yankees were the greatest franchise in American sports.
That's why it hurts so much to watch the current owner make every decision hinge on money. The Yankees are commonly outspent, out-gunned and out-managed. Right now, we are not even the dominant team in NYC. With another key injury - and we are a team of tweaks and strains- the Yankees could be looking at writing off 2023.
We just finished a weekend when nobody hit, and we barely escaped being swept at home. Out lineup scares nobody, our bullpen has no closer, and our rotation leans far too heavily on two arms. Yeah, it's too early to panic. But how can you look at this team without wondering if this is a meltdown season?
Vlad Jr. hates the Yankees, eh? I don't blame him. When I see what they are - compared to what they once were - I nearly do, as well.
They are worse than bad they are boring.
ReplyDeleteOh, congrats on the Times! Clearly you still have your fastball. May it stay in the mid-ninties until you are.
I know that you were probably making a joke about Mickey Mouse and Yogi Bear but it's a strange combination. Mickey (and old Disney in general) representing order and Yogi a conniving thief.
Crap. I just realized something that will remain unsaid.
I find that people's choice in cartoons often comes down to Disney or Warner Brothers. More Micky vs. Bugs. Order vs. Give the representatives of order a big kiss on the lips and then drop an anvil on their head.
Personally, I prefer the latter.
Did I mention that the Yankees were boring? Well they are.
Vlad Jr. hates the Yanks because, allegedly, they had a deal with Vlad Sr. and pulled it when they signed someone else. I don't remember who the someone else was.
ReplyDeleteThat's why he says that he will never sign with them.
But as someone else said, perhaps here, he will eat himself out of the league in a few years like Cecil Fielder's kid did.
Which means, of course, in 10 years ASSman will offer him a 5-year deal at 42Mil per year.
Duque, you were 9 years old in 1961? That makes you old enough to be my ... daddy? I thought someone on here said you were only about 50 or so. Hmmm ....
ReplyDeleteAnd congrats on that NY Times piece! I recently subscribed (yes, I managed to cough up the six bucks or whatever it is for the online access). I didn't have time to read your piece yet but I'll get to it later today or tomorrow.
@ The Archangel, Yeah, I guess that would explain why the hate!
ReplyDeleteDuque--and many of the rest of us--can only wish we were still 50, Hammer. Not that being an old geezer is so bad. In some ways, life gets simpler and more elemental. I remember my father railing against the neighbor who always put their trash cans out a day too early. I'm not there yet, but I can see the road to there. It's pretty funny, actually.
ReplyDeleteAs opposed to this team, which is pathetic instead of funny.
Cashman has to be the worst GM in modern baseball history. Boone is an idiot. Hal is...well, it's hard to come up with an insult for Hal, because all you have to say is "Hal" and you get the full picture, pretty much.
When a payroll of $279,182,022 gets you...
ReplyDeleteOnly two good starters out of five: Cole and Nestor.
And still has to play three rookies. All of whom I'd rather see than the players they replaced BTW.
Plus, no closer.
And carries SEVERAL players who are essentially worthless...
Yeah, the GM is doing a horrible job. Horrible!
During the 80's, I always felt this team was committed to winning and if they had acquired one ace they would have won a few WS. But now it's utter futility.
ReplyDeleteThis team doesn't know how to run a farm system, build a balanced offence or how to spend money. And by team I mean Ca$hman.
He's the only constant in world of variables. He's the only GM in NY that the papers/radio stations don't go after. I don't understand it?
In 20yrs - 1 WS with billions of dollars spent. Can we get George Costanza to be GM?
On Clarke Schmidt yesterday: In a 0-0 game in the 6th inning, with two outs, only one man on base, I was thinking to myself, he shouldn't give Vlad anything to hit. Then bang, zoom, 2-0 Jays. Then bang, zoom, 3-0 Jays.
ReplyDeleteThe pitch to Vlad looked like a hanging slider, right in the middle of the plate and belt high. According to the radar gun, it was 84 mph. Then the pitch to the next guy was a 91 mph cutter over the plate.
You'd think that the pitching coach or Boone would've gone out and said something before the Vlad at bat. Because it was obviously going to be a big point in the game. Should've said something like "score is 0-0, getting late, don't let their best hitter beat you; throw four nasty pitches, if he walks, he walks".
You'd think that Boone would've had someone warming up in the 6th, so that if Schmidt walked Vlad, a reliever would be ready to come in. You'd think that Boone would know that Schmidt tends to give up home runs in bunches. So that after the Vlad homer, Boone would make a pitching change to keep the game at 2-0.
They say Schmidt has enough confidence to soar higher than a Chinese spy balloon. Well, I think maybe that might be part of the problem. Maybe he has the attitude that he can get anybody out, anytime. Maybe he thinks he can just throw his glove on the mound and batters will fall down like dominoes at the mere sight of his fearsome visage.
The mistake that Schmidt made against Vlad is Little League stuff. You can't make those kinds of mistakes in the major leagues, kid. Because it wasn't just a physical error, that was a mental bogey. How can you throw a lousy hanging slider to their best hitter in that situation? If you miss, it's got to miss off the plate, either inside or outside.
Ditto with the next hitter. If there are two on, two out, you shouldn't give in and throw a crap pitch over the plate. Have to make it nasty and if he walks, he walks. They can bring in a reliever for the bases loaded, two out jam. You only need one out to escape.
In a similar situation in Saturday's game, Cole walked Vlad on a 3-2 pitch. That was smart. He avoided a mistake and the Yanks ended up winning the game.
Schmidt can take a lesson from Goliath in the bible story. Confidence is generally a good thing, but it ain't good if you underestimate your opponent and make ridculously stupid mistakes. You still have to pitch intelligently, not like a brainless maniac.
And one more thing about Boone. You'd think that with the lineup in a doldrum, (tip of the cap to the Jays pitching), Boone would shake up the lineup a bit. Judge, in a slump. Almost everyone in a slump. Might not be a bad idea to try something different with Stanton out. How about Judge in the cleanup slot? But no, just like everything else about this team, the manager is also a mechanical rust magnet. They forgot to do the oil and lube. Or they forgot to upgrade the processor in his head to one that is certified "AI" (artificial intelligence).
ReplyDeleteTwo points.
ReplyDelete1) It is never too early to panic. Panic early and often.
2) I'm lonely sometimes. When is someone going to groom me?
Fuck Hal.
Schmidt had a similar game against the San Fran Giants that I watched on FOX. He was cruising along with a 2-0 lead in that game. Then he gets to a 3-2 count on Joc Pederson and throws a slider down and in, which gets hit out. Then with one on, one out, with the count 3-0, he throws a stupid cutter to Brandon Crawford, another lefty hitter who hits it out, and Yanks are suddenly behind 3-2.
ReplyDeleteBoone said he thought Schmidt missed location with those pitches. That might be so, but I thought the pitch selection was the main issue. With Pederson, the catcher was set up away, and Schmidt missed with off speed, so Boone was right in that location was bad on that one. But the follow up two run homer was even bigger. Catcher sets up for an inside fastball. How's that? Count is 3-0 and you're throwing inside with a fastball? Is that over-confidence or a death wish?
We are turning into Cubs fans. Soon, our anger will turn into a dull longing for the past, along with a happy and dim appreciation of the present - "the present" meaning being able to slip into our loafers, go to the toilet unassisted, and having a nice something to sip on while we watch our team on TV.
ReplyDeleteWe will no longer be angry, nor will we regret the past. We will just be happy that we still have a team in the Bronx to root for. The pinstripes will still be visible underneath the corporate patches. They will trot out old-timers on a regular basis and we can reminisce with each other about the good old days.
We will not be angry anymore. No longer will we agonize over Lord Trashman and his silly moves that dug us into a 20-year deep hole. We will be happy, like sedated animals at the local zoo. We will have bonhomie and pleasant chatter on the internet and wait for the occasional rerun of a game from the late 90s. We will not be angry anymore.
We will see graying, but still vigorous Hal on TV talking - once a year - about our team and we will squint and see old George's face in his. And we will be glad that one of his offspring will one day carry on the glorious tradition. Most of us will not see the next fight over taxpayer dollars to build the next stadium, but we will not worry. NYC will preserve our hallowed ground.
We will not be angry anymore.
Why are we agonizing for Clark Kent.
ReplyDeleteHe is this year's Luis Cessa, Ivan Nova, Phil Hughes, Joba Chamberlain, Adam Warren, David Phelps, Vidal Nuno, Andrew Brackman, Bryan Mitchell. The hits just keep on coming. He will be out the league in 2-3 years.
Another guy that Ca$hman stole in the draft because he was coming off TJ surgery!
Hammer of God...
ReplyDeleteI AM your father.
As Jeff Lynn once wrote:
ReplyDeleteRemember the good old 1980's
When things were so uncomplicated
I wish I could go back there again
And everything could be the same……
Dammit, El Duque, you just violated the confidentiality clause in the contract here at the Thor Adoption Agency. You will hear from our attorneys!
ReplyDeleteCashman never regrets the decisions he makes concerning trades or managerial hires because there is never any accountability in Hal's regime. His previous failures make him act like an inveterate losing gambler by trying to make up for those losses by placing bets on horses with long odds. That's what his trades resemble. High reward with even higher injury risk. You can name countless players as examples.
The saddest part about the owner and his Bloated Front Office is that they don't care. At all. The flaccid press is unwilling to highlight management's aloofness and blase attitude toward winning and exposing their penny-pinching ways. The only group that ostensibly cares are the fans. And unfortunately, fans are the last group the Yankees are concerned about.
One question did just come to mind.
ReplyDeleteWho ordered the paternity test, Hammer or Duque?
Why should management care when fans lined up on Opening Day to buy Volpe jerseys until they were sold out, at about 150 a pop.
ReplyDeleteThey won't care until we stop such foolishness.
[P.S. just recycle your Gardy jersey.]
You have all correctly identified pieces of the puzzle of paucity.
ReplyDeleteSome are small: Schmidt, thrust into a role that is too much for him. Some are huge: Ownership/Management’s disinterest in winning, and fealty to the bottom line, deliberately whitewashed by the fawning press in exchange for better access, or the all
Important “scoop”.
The result is a pervasive lack of accountability for anyone above the rank of batboy. Players are called out for their grooming, but not their performance. For me, the worst part of Duque’s Dirge is the knowledge that things will only get worse over the the next 5 years, as the holders of these huge contracts decline and the narcissistic Steingrubber worships his persona golden calf, meaning more of the Calhouns, Schmidts, Corderos of the world thrust into even larger roles simply because they fit the budget.
This week 7 games in 7 days in frozen Minny and gun totin’ Texas. Will we go 4-3 or 3-4?
Can’t contain the excitement.
My guess is an optimistic (and at times annoyingly frustrating) 4-3
ReplyDeleteTo put it more appropraitely, Duque, the fans hate Moneybags Hal, Genius Cashman and Fat Slob Levine. The players can only be what they are. It is the three morons, that run the team they way it is being run. The Yankees are two games ahead of The Red Sox for the cellar. Josh Bader may be coming back soon. He is a lifetime .245 hitter. Six to eight weeks for Tissue Mon Stanton. If that happens, he won't hit for a mont. The Yankees lineup is a joke and we know who to account for it. The Genius 25 Million for four years. For what?
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteActive payroll - $161,340,039
Injured payroll - $117,841,983
Duque, AboveAverage You guys are outrageously funny! Best damn Yankee blog on the 'net!
ReplyDeleteLet's look at Cashman's competency (or lack thereof) another way that illustrates just how bad a GM he is:
ReplyDeleteYankees 2023 payroll....279 million.
Tampa Bay's 2023 payroll: The Rays have a total payroll of $74,537,681 in 2023, per Spotrac's team rankings. (Tampa Bay's club-specific page lists it at $73,262,681). The highest-paid Rays player in 2023 — and the only one to make more than $10 million — is Zach Eflin ($11 million).Apr 14, 2023.
This is what the Yankees should do but won't do:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/mlb/the-yankees-should-call-up-promising-outfielder-to-replace-aaron-hicks/ar-AA1agBTC?rc=1&ocid=winp1taskbar&cvid=6515df2fd3fe40b8927086ae5b714239&ei=22
(Almost) Anybody but Hicks. I don't believe in Willie. I don't believe in Cashman. I don't believe in Beatles...er, Boonie. I just believe in me.
Old Overholt and me. Now, that's reality.
Looks like El Duque's NY Times piece was all it took to make Tucker leave Fox . . . .
ReplyDeleteWell, Well Done, Mr Duque - WELL DONE!
Remember, with great power comes great responsibility . . . . so please take a moment before you decide how next to apply your POWERS.
A particularly spirited debate on IIHIIFIIc this morning. Covering a broad errands of important topics. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteEl Duque, have you gone into mourning yet? Fox News fired Tucker Carlson this morning.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine the expression on Carlson's face right now? I mean talk about puckered!
Going back to Vlad Jr.'s red ass. I believe that Cashman had a deal to sign Vlad the Sr. as a free agent but was over-ruled because George wanted the Maniac Sheffield instead. I've always thought that we MIGHT have won a title or two more back in the Golden Days if we had gotten Vlad the Sr...... Kinda reminds me of Ken Griffey Jr. crying for twenty-plus years because Billy Martin didn't want players' kids in the locker room (I THINK that Martin even snapped at Jr.). That was one story that I've read. Whatever the real stories are, it "behooves" (nod to Hank Stein) the team to kiss the collective asses of player's kids. Sometimes they become "somebody".
ReplyDeleteWhat is this? No wailing over Don Lemon getting the axe? ;)
ReplyDeleteThe two of them will start their own news network: TLN
ReplyDeleteLemon and Carlson are going to swap networks. Like Kekich & Peterson
ReplyDeleteIt is time for some Yankee pitcher to go" high and tight " like Bob Gibson or Sal Maglie ( for the veterans fans out there )on Vlad Jr.
ReplyDeleteTime to let him know that his arrogance and hate does come with a price tag. You can't just settle in at home plate and hit home runs.
Put him on the ground.
"Put him on the ground."
ReplyDeleteSeveral times
From Twitter:
ReplyDeleteIf Fox can fire Tucker Carlson. The Yankees can DFA Aaron Hicks
Celerino -
ReplyDeleteGood one.
Ranger? That was us. We've been saying that for months! Twitter STOLE THAT FROM US!! THOSE FUCKERS!! WHERE'S OUR BLUE CHECK MARK!!?? WELL!!??? WHERE IS IT!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteFuck Hal. I hate him so very very much. Just fuck him to death.
Hammer -- Do you think it's possible that you can kick your obsession to the extent of letting just ONE thread go by without repositioning Judge in the batting order? Just one?
ReplyDeleteBrilliant posts, guys! Great analysis, Hammer, great eulogy by Bitty, great yucks from everyone else! And a great post from our Peerless Leader.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I suspect Ol' Murdoch was like LBJ during Tet, when Cronkite came out against the war:
"Well, hell! If I lost Duque, I lost the country!"
Yeah, supposedly Cashman wanted to sign Vladdy, Sr., and Mad George insisted on Sheffield.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the Yanks would've won with Vlad the Lad, a man the Red Sox were visibly afraid of. But i'm suspicious of how many bad moves become George's—according to Cashie—years after the fact.
And in any case, Vlad was hardly lacking in suitors. He signed for something like $72 mill over 5 years, allowing Jr. to grow up in luxury in sunny SoCal. I wish I had such pasts to be bitter about.
We are all filled with joy at our wondrous Yankees. For it is not whether we win or lose, but how we play the game. I love everybody.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, my fellows, but I must show up for part two of my lobotomy.