Okay, breathe. Settle down. Have a drink. Put on a song. How about - in honor of a truly great man - The Wreck of the Edmund Fiztgerald?
I mean, it's not as if last night was the worst game ever. We didn't blow a five-run lead, or get shutout by Nathan Eovaldi, or lose by 10. Nobody died. Yeah, we squandered Domingo German's greatest game, Jose Trevino's longest homer, and a two-run lead in the ninth. These things happen on the great lake they call Gitche Gumee.When the waves turn the minutes to hours...
Well, this isn't working. Every day, somebody sinks below the surface. Yesterday, we lost two: Jonathan Loaisiga, out with surgery until September (and probably for 2023) and Aaron Judge, from a strained hip. If they were the last to disappear, we'd be lucky. I'm still waiting to hear that Nestor Cortez's disastrous outing doesn't send him to the IL. Or Clay Holmes. Or Wandy.
Yank fans should sue YES for perpetrating The Big Lie - that this team of Jackie Donaldson, Mickey Mantle-Falefa and Franchy Calhoun - (shorthand for Willie Calhoun and Franchy Cordero) - was a pennant contender.
But last night, we blew one. God, did we blow one. It was like 10 losses, wrapped into one ticking package. Aaron Boone made one of the most disastrous in-game pitching decisions in his illustrious career. Our closer blew it, mostly because we have none. We have no hitter who cannot be pitched around, and the last five corpses are particularly stiff, even when one steps into his longest HR. The game ended with Aaron Hicks fanning, the crowd booing, the YES bobbleheads bobbing, and the main hatchway caved in. Fellas, it's been good to know ya.
You know, the saddest part about this continuing debacle is that, over the years, I have come to really like Yankee players. For example, Hicks. I don't recall the guy loafing. Two nights ago, in a horrible blowout, he sprinted down the line on a routine grounder, almost beat it out. It's a wonder his gonad didn't pop. Sadly, his game has gone to seed. It happens. Nobody plays forever. Hicks has lost his batting eye and his confidence. He needs a new team, and the Yankees - by pushing him out there, trying to squeeze hits from his contract, or convince him to retire - might as well be pushing needles into his forehead.
Of course there is time for this team. It's a long season. Tampa looms this weekend.
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call, 'Gitche Gumee'
Superior, they said, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early.
It's time to punt on this season. I'm sure they could make the playoffs, Let's face it half the teams in the league suck, but everyone knows they'd be bounced in the first round.
ReplyDeleteDFA Jackie & Hicks.
Make Sabean GM, bump up Ca$hman to VP of nothing.
Trade Torres, Johnny Holmes, Rizzo, Bader, the list could go on for pages. Try and work out a trade for Stanton (pay half the salary)
Play the kids, let them suck this year and if they do have talent, then next year will reap the rewards.
There is nothing worse than watching a team that has no drive, no talent and no future. Hopefully things will start to hit Hal's bank account soon and then maybe there will be some changes.
When I think of Boone, ASSman and Hal , I think of a Latin phrase that the used to use in the Court House back in the day before translation on on app, so we could say outlaid what we really thought of a particular person;
ReplyDeleteCoitus inutilis.
To stay with the nautical theme, with this trip to Tampa, "We're going to need a bigger boat."
Finally, the timid NY sports writers are calling out Aaron Buffoone. Today's Yankees headline:
ReplyDeleteAARON BOONE'S BLUNDER COSTS DOMINGO GERMAN CHANCE TO FINISH MASTERFUL OUTING
This quote from a Washington Post article about the 1904 Senators seemed appropriate:
ReplyDelete“No baseball club ever won public favor or a pennant with a batting average of six hits a game and with less than two runs,” The Post reported after Washington’s 10th loss the next day. “That’s the kind of work the Senators are doing and the kind they will continue to do unless some men can be picked up who are capable of hitting the ball oftener than the present outfit. As the team stands it is a minor league one.”
And, once again, I will shout from the rooftops...HOLMES IS NOT A CLOSER. KING IS OUR CLOSER.
Why is this so fucking hard?
As in Herman Hesse's Steppenwolf, what can you do, except laugh?
ReplyDeleteWow, EL Duque, the Yanks are so toxic that just mentioning one of the musical legends in a Yankee blog can cause them to die!!!
ReplyDeleteR.I.P Gordon Lightfoot.
BTW there is a great bio on him on either Netflix or Amazon. I can't remember which one offhand. It was a revelation on a great troubadour. He helped get my core of buddies through law school chilling during exam study breaks. Then we would listen to Bat Out of Hell before we walked over to take an exam.
That was back in the late 70's when success was based upon merit not what you were, but I digress.
There is only one way to solve this problem:
ReplyDeleteIf The Intern and Baboooooone are to be retired, the season must burn to the ground. It's the only way Harold would consider...
Wait. What am I thinking? Hal is an idiot and as long as people keep showing up, he's never going to pull an Alec Baldwin. We are stuck in a hellhole of mediocrity as a last place ballclub today at 15-15.
But we'll all keep watching this East Palestine team til the bitter end. Only this year the bitter end will come sooner than ever.
ReplyDelete"R.I.P Gordon Lightfoot."
Wow! El Duque did something similar the other day as well. He's tuned into the universe.
Maybe he should weave in references to "Brian's Song" tomorrow.
"I loved Brian Cashman."
Not looking for death of course. Just disappearance.
Actually his use of the Edmund Fitzgerald is prescient in another way as well. I sense a sea change. As Carl pointed out, the Gammonites are angry. This level of failure CAN NOT be ignored.
The chorus of boos will shortly become a mob.
Change is a comin'.
Aaron "Buffoone" Babboone, also known as The Stupid Raccoone, rides a white horse into Last Chance Saloon in Brigadoon, Bathingspoon, Arizoona. And the name of the white horse was Death, and Hell and Last Place followed with him.
ReplyDeleteFrom Katie Sharp
ReplyDelete"Clay Holmes now has 7 blown saves since the start of last season.
Only 6 relievers in MLB have more than him in that span."
Doug, he's not a closer. King is.
ReplyDeleteBoone is an idiot. Cashman is worse.
I remember writing a satirical version of "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" back in 2017, to mock the Sox being bounced from the playoffs.
ReplyDeleteTurns out the joke was on us.
Yes, RIP, Gordon Lightfoot, and RIP, 2023 NYY.
At least we rooted for Gordon Lightfoot to survive,
ReplyDeletenot so the 2023 Yanks.
width great powah comes great responsibility
ReplyDeleteIt might be that Gordon Lightfoot outlived the 2023 Yankees.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteBoonehead should never have been hired. He's demonstrably ill-equipped to actually manage an MLB team and he's nothing more than a button-pushing scapegoat for the shitty performance of the shitty group of players he's been given to "manage". And he seems like a pretty nice guy, baseball lifer from a baseball family unlike the asswipes who shit out this roster of misfits. I feel bad dumping on Boone, it's not his fault he sucks at his job, and I wish they would just fire him, untie him from the mast and hire a real asshole like Joe "the Toe" Maddon, a man I could really get behind hating. I feel about Boonedoggle the way I feel about Hicks - a mixture of fan frustration and sympathy. They're not bad people I assume, just bad at their jobs, but the bossman won't let them off this sinkin' ship.
Bader will save THE world!
ReplyDeleteMaster Bader is back!
ReplyDeleteThere is something that is a touch disgusting about Master Bader.
ReplyDeleteIt is the way he masticates his glossy-pink mouth guards while on the field.
Would someone please - PLEASE! procure him a pinstripe mouth guard!
Thank you very much.
You can't blame Boone for the massive number of injuries. Yes...Boone is not the second coming of Connie Mack, but he doesn't have much to put out on the diamond. This is Ca$hman's mess. We have no rotation to speak of, and half of our relievers are on the EL. I don't know what you folks expect?
ReplyDeleteAnd what is the over/under for Bader staying in the lineup not injured...?
ReplyDeleteBaden’s back (at least until his next injury.) You want him? You got him. Glancing at Twitter, the fanbase seems agog with this piece of news. I’ve actually gone 2 weeks without being suspended there but they seek to torture me by flooding my feed with the opposite of my obvious preferences. Do they think I’m going to change my way of thinking, or perhaps they believe I will just quit, leaving the playing field open for others of their ilk.
ReplyDeleteI’m about out of things to say about this team. They hired someone with zero experience for a position of great responsibility. Were I to do that in my job, both the hiree and myself would be gone. Worse, he hasn’t grown a millimeter while in the job. Obviously,, he must be exactly what ownership wanted - a fallow mouthpiece with “Don’t Rock The Boat!” tattooed across his useless ass.
In truth, it’s also the pervasive, deleterious influence of analytics in the modern game. A complete game, why that’s just foolish. A SP going 3 times through the lineup. More dangerous than driving blindfold. A experienced, knowledgeable manager trusting his eyes and gut. Sentimental Hogwash! Besides, look at all the championships Billy Beane has won! What? oh…
I’m not really against all analytics, it is a useful tool when properly utilized. But to base an organizational approach around it? Just a method to provide cover for failure. The analytics made us do it!
Ol’ King Cole tonight. He’s been our MVP so far this year. Can we paste together 3 or 4 runs for him?
Sabean licking his chops at this point for the Coup de etat
ReplyDeleteI started scanning this for possible trade candidates: MLB Injury Report - Baseball Player Injuries
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteIs anything going to change if/when we miss the playoffs and or have a losing season?
Cashman and Boone seem in with the bricks and bulletproof
Rays opening upper deck of Trop (first time since 2018) so Tampa's residents to come and jeer the "Bombers" this weekend. Literal laughingstock.
ReplyDeleteAt least when the team is losing a lot, it's easier to stay away and boycott the Harold Cashman show.
ReplyDeleteJust for jollies--Michael Kay is unsufferable.
Kay is awful. That type of propaganda belongs in Pravda
ReplyDeleteElton John said this best -
ReplyDeleteIt's sad (so sad), so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd.
And, JM - you could not be more correct -- Michael Kay is insufferable.
I'm open to trading Cashman for a box of pencils and some copy toner to any front office that would be dumb enough to take him.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI hereby second Dick Allen's idea. Let the season go to complete dung. Let's shoot for a 49-113 record. Let it all go to a freaking joke.
Why does this appeal to me? I'm 69. I'd like to see a World Series Championship before I kick.
Yeah, 69 is "young" these days. Except that the kid next-door died recently at age 67. And two fellows from my HS football team -- athletes -- are also dead, one in late 60s, one at age 70 (I was no athlete -- I was the sports editor of the school paper).
Therefore: Let's burn it down and build it back up. Before I burn down. Please.
ReplyDelete. . . Yeah, those 3 dudes were all Brooklynites.
Yankalytics, aka Yankee Stupidity.
ReplyDeleteBoone says Lou Trivino will have Tommy John surgery.
ReplyDeleteFor those scoring at home, here's a summary of our 2022 Trade Deadline haul:
SP Frankie Montas - arthroscopic surgery on his right shoulder
RP Lou Trivino - Tommy John surgery
RP Scott Effross - Tommy John surgery
OF Andrew Benintendi - broken hamate bone in his right wrist
OF Harrison Bader - plantar fasciitis in his right foot + strained oblique
Micheal Kay is live right now on 98.7 actually defending Brian Cashman! NOT MAKING THIS UP. He claims Cashman is not responsible for injuries so we should give him a break. He said there was only ONE issue coming into this year, no definite left fielder. That's all he sees? Is he blind, or just stupid? This is maddening!
ReplyDeleteDig it (or not)
ReplyDelete1. Anthony Volpe, SS
2. Gleyber Torres, 2B
3. Anthony Rizzo, 1B
4. DJ LeMahieu, 3B
5. Harrison Bader, CF
6. Willie Calhoun, DH
Oswaldo Cabrera, RF
8. Jose Trevino, C
9. Aaron Hicks, LF
Gerrit Cole, RHP
@mik, Kay is not stupid, he’s doing what he’s paid to be doing - tow the company line at all times. There are still countless dullards out there who believe him, I guess thinking he must know what he’s talking about otherwise he wouldn’t be holding this position. Others, like many of the denizens of Twitter or Facebook, are indeed charter members of the room temperature IQ club who will believe almost anything you tell them, if you speak slowly enough.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@btr999, of course, you are right. That's why this blog is soul-cleansing. Who else would understand this type of obsession?
ReplyDeleteGREAT post, 999.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, Kay is the worst of the mumblebums in the Yankees' TV booth. Every home team announcer is forced to shill to a certain degree. Kay does it in about as obnoxious a manner as possible.