Tuesday, May 2, 2023

"Come together...over me."

 


Here it is at last, folks! The bit of nonsense that I guarantee will unite all of us, left, right, and center, in loathing—and hysterical laughter—of how idiotic our culture has become.

I received an email this afternoon addressed merely to "Blogger," informing me that my post, "Some Props, Please," "has been put behind a warning for readers."

I was told that I could "update" said blog post, and republish it at 

https://www.blogger.com/go/appeal-post?blogId=3932285159851204335&postId=7392961949121200955.  

to see if it now passed muster.

I was baffled, frankly, because I can't recall anyone on the Yankees deserving props recently. What has happened? I wondered. Has Brian Cashman taken over the internet?

So I clicked on what the post was. It proved to be a review of the ending of Game of Thrones, from May 20, 2019, nearly 4 years ago.

Not sure what the "sensitive content" was. The use of the word "cunnilingus"? A reference in a silly, satirical poem at the end about coming to America to kill? 

Censored for insipid doggerel? Sure, I could see that. "Not at all funny, really." Uh-huh. "Stop wasting everyone's time, including your own." I would plead nolo contendre.

But sensitivity?

I reprint the post now, below, along with your comments, because it serves as a sort of time capsule, taking us back to a better, simpler age, when the junior varsity filled in brilliantly for all our injured regulars, and just before we knew we would be beaten in the ALCS once again by a bunch of cheating knaves.

Note please, the references to the comments about El Chapo nearly blowing the game, and "pants on head," along with the spam about curing ALS and a certain "Dr. Believe."

Ah but we were so much older then

We're younger than that now...

Note: I'm sure this post will be censored sometime in the year 2027. When Brian Cashman is still general manager, and Giancarlo Stanton is still on the DL.

The Censored Post:


Okay, SPOILER ALERT.

But...did I or did I not call it on Sunday with GOT???

Let's review my predictions:

Danaerys, red-faced over having burned up everybody in that miserable pit of scheming nobles and religious fanatics, retreats to the Eastern Land of the Thundering Herds to get her act together.

Hey, I said she'd go back east.  I did not specify dead or alive.

Sansa is handed Westeros, and in celebration invents the Sansa Salsa.

All right, so she only got "The North."  In the end, this show was all about Brexit.

Jon Snow returns to the land beyond the wall, remembering—like Audrey Hepburn in Paris—that he was happy there once.

Check.  And yes, the man who introduced cunnilingus to The North was banished there, with the strict admonition that he never marry or have children.

This was a punishment?  What, did he also beg not to be tossed in the br'er patch?

"Sorry, ladies, I can't commit.  Westeros Council orders, you know, and those three-eyed ravens are everywhere!  But hey, let me show you a little something I learned down south..."


Arya moves to Brooklyn, where she changes her name to Kid Twist and starts a little outfit that becomes known as Murder, Inc.

Check and double check!  Last seen, she was on a ship going to the west of Westeros.  

That can only be one place.  Cue the Neil Diamond "America" tape!

On the boats and on dragons
They're comin' to America
Lookin' to kill
For one more thrill
Comin' to America!

12 comments:

What is this strange and mysterious GOT of which you blog?? We are in peculiar times, peculiar times indeed.

FUCKERS!!!!!!!

JM said...

Everybody ended up more or less happy, and even Gray Worm didn't get brought up on war crime charges. OK, Dani ended up dead and Dragon was sad, but you can't have everything.

Never saw the Bran thing coming. Nice twist. Gives him something to look forward and backward to, depending.

ICE CREAM 3-RUN HOMER SANDWICH!!! ICE CREAM 3-RUN HOMER SANDWICH!!! ICE CREAM 3-RUN HOMER SANDWICH!!! ICE CREAM 3-RUN HOMER SANDWICH!!! ICE CREAM 3-RUN HOMER SANDWICH!!! ICE CREAM 3-RUN HOMER SANDWICH!!! ICE CREAM 3-RUN HOMER SANDWICH!!! ICE CREAM 3-RUN HOMER SANDWICH!!! 


And I don't even have my pants on my head!!!

13bit said...

Chapo is Crapo

13bit said...

ok. I'll let him stay for another week, that chapo. scary fuck.

Pants on head! And where are the damned Spanish beauties?

More crap from Happ but nonetheless...

Well, you know what they say. You can't hope to shut Hanser Alberto down, you can only hope to contain him.

To answer your question, Warbler: GOT is the biggest waste of time I have ever indulged in.

And JM: I know. Bran. Pretty funny to see the internet comments on the other characters reacting to the idea that he had "the best story."

But hey, it's the writers' revenge: 'The guy with the best story gets to be king.' Riiiiiight.

KD said...

After all the death and violence, we see the pay off for ascension to the Iron Throne. Why did they do it? For the tedium of managing a massive bureaucracy. Yip yip yahoo.

I know. That is the happy ending.  

All through that stupid show, we were fed disinformation.

"If you think this ends well, you're not paying attention."

Well, it ended with all the evil people dead, and the world run by squabbling but very nice bureaucrats.

"Winter is coming."

Well, it never came.

"Baby brother is going to kill you."

Well, falling rocks killed you.

What crap. What happens when your whole show is basically a rip off of other books and other ideas to begin with. I feel embarrassed to have wasted ten minutes watching it.

Gary Madison said...

My husband was diagnosed with MND ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) when he was 69 years old 6 years ago. The Rilutek (riluzole) did very little to help him. The medical team did even less. His decline was rapid and devastating. The psychological support from the medical center was non-existent and if it were not for totalcureherbsfoundation .c om and the sensitive cure of their herbal formula he would have been not been alive today,there was significant improvement in the first 4 weeks of usage that gave us hope that he will be alive,His doctor put him on riluzole, letting us know there was no cure until we gave try on total cure herbal supplement that cure him totally from this disease after 15 weeks of his usage. There is nothing positive about cure ALS condition except for their herbal treatment .


I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.




12 comments:

  1. Cash should give Dr Believe a call.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Let's hope that no one switched Cole's medication tonight.

    because

    We need a dominant, gutsy performance from our ACE.

    And if he must have a man-child meltdown, let us hope its directed at Boone if he comes out of the dugout to take the ball from him with a less than ten run lead.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What will Master Bader do in his first AB in 2023?

    ReplyDelete

  4. Having been wasting my time elsewhere (but only because I was not aware you fine people existed) I have to ask: what's up with that Dr. Believe stuff? Was this common here in 2009?

    Never saw a single second of GOT, don't know what it's about, don't care.

    Can this traveling band of shitskiteers make up a two-run deficit? Seems insurmountable but stranger things have happened...I'm sure. Pretty sure anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Torres Rizzo drum drum drum drum drum!

    ReplyDelete
  7. where is everyone tonight. . . . recovering from your colonoscopies?

    ReplyDelete
  8. GO LITTLE TONY!! GO GO GO!!

    GO BIG TONY!! GO GO GO!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. dumb manager calls stoopid steal play

    see my avatar for more detailed information

    ReplyDelete
  10. King is our closer. King. So obvious.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Win with Cole on the mound, aka holding serve. Better than the alternative though, and very nice to see Volpe's dynamism on display.

    ReplyDelete

Members of the blog can comment. To receive an e-mailed invitation, write to johnandsuzyn@gmail.com. And check spam if it doesn't show up. (Google account required.)

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.