Wednesday, June 21, 2023

Historic

 

The g'int to the left is one Norman Arthur Elberfeld, a.k.a., "The Tabasco Kid," the first regular shortstop for your NewYork Yankees. He is pictured here at Hilltop Park, a.k.a., "The Rockpile," back in the days when the Yankees were more often known as the Highlanders, and they played up at 168th Street.

Kid Elberfeld was a pretty fair shortstop for his time. For about 5 years, he was the second-best major-league hitter at the position, finishing his career at .271, with 213 stolen bases. (Today, with those numbers, they would be measuring his plaque for Cooperstown.)

He was also an excellent fielder, with great range and a "cyclonic" arm. He was also, it seems, a gigantic pain in the ass.

The Kid was described by one contemporary observer as "the dirtiest, scrappiest, most pestiferous, most rantankerous [sic], most rambunctious ballplayer that ever stood on spikes." For fun, he liked to smash the crockery on the spring training tables. Most of his career, he wore whalebone shinguards in the field, for all the times that opposing players would try to spike him. He was also hit 165 times in his career, which is still high on the all-time list.

Why am I telling you of this long-ago hooligan?

Because your current New York Yankees are seriously threatening an all-time low that occurred when The Tabasco Kid was still hauling his whalebone shinguards around the Junior Circuit.

Despite last night's dazzling offensive display, the Yanks still boast an on-base percentage of .298. This is the worst such OBP the club has compiled since it finished at .292 in 1968, "The Year of the Pitcher," when hurlers tossed aspirin tablets down from mountaintops, and hitters were forced to stand at the plate with mere toothpicks in their paws.

But wait! I hear you protest. During the Year of the Pitcher, didn't pitchers still bat? 

Yes, indeed, my knowledgeable friends—a practice that was soon ended, in the American League at least, by the SPCA. Take away the pitchers' curious at-bats, and the 1968 Yankees—who that year set the post-1900 record for lowest MLB team batting average, at .214—actually had a lofty OBP of .303 on the season.

Taking that into account, for the lowest-ever, franchise OBP, we have to journey all the way back to...1908, when the Tabasco Kid still roamed the shortstop's ranges, performing herculean feats with his cyclonic arm. 

The Yanks started off well enough that year, then dropped 12 of 13 games in June, after being beset by injuries. Clark "The Old Fox" Griffith—the Highlanders' only manager to that date—resigned, saying the team was laboring under a "hoodoo," and that the bad luck sign was he himself. They didn't call him Old Foxy for nothing.

The pair of professional goniffs who ran the Yanks at the time, Frank Farrell and Big Bill Devery, gave in and made Elberfeld, who had been agitating for years to manage the team, their new skipper. This was a mistake.

"We are...playing under the direction of a crazy man," one of his players told the press. "It won't take Elberfeld more than two weeks to make us the most demoralized team that the American League has ever known. He thinks he is a manager, but he can't convince anyone but himself that he has the first qualifications for the job. It's a joke."

Hmm...

Among other things, apparently the Kid wouldn't choose his starting pitcher for the day without consulting his wife—a habit guaranteed to win you respect amongst professional baseballers. 

Whatever the reason, the Yanks went 27-71 under the Tabasco Kid, finishing the season at 53-101—only a hairsbreadth better than the very worst mark compiled by the Yankees, 52-100, in 1912. And among other depressing statistics, the 1908 Yankees/Highlanders had an OBP of only .283—and still just .292, not counting the hurlers that Mrs. Elberfeld selected.

CAN the 2023 Yanks be even worse??? I wouldn't bet against it.





 

 

27 comments:

  1. Nice pluck from obscurity, Herr Hoss. Fascinating read.

    It got me thinking that if Norman Arthur Elberfeld had the nickname The Tabasco Kid, what then could Boone’s be?

    After two painfully long and challenging minutes, I came up with one that might work. And it is:

    The Milk-Fart Skipper

    I kind a like it because it sorta says it all.

    Just needed to share



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  2. Great piece of history, Hoss. I never heard of The Kid before. Sounds like a real fun guy.

    "Milk Fart" will soon become an endearing nickname for Boone. First one to somehow tie it to the bubbles he blows with his gum gets special recognition.

    Here's something that will warm everyone's hearts: Bader is going to pull back a little in the field, not kill himself going after low-probability catches and stuff like that. I'm sure that will help the team moving forward. This strategy has certainly worked for Stanton.

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/mlb/yankees-harrison-bader-implementing-new-strategy-to-avoid-injuries/ar-AA1cQZ65?rc=1&ocid=winp1taskbar&cvid=56876f8f38714822e4c02f02efb1c0b2&ei=24

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  3. "The dirtiest, scrappiest, most pestiferous, most rantankerous [sic], most rambunctious ballplayer that ever stood on spikes."

    This is the Way.

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  4. JM -

    My apologies but I thought that you knew that when someone “releases” a Milk Fart it is almost always preceded by a bubble/and or a series of smaller bubbles.

    In addition, if one were to mic a Milk Fart it would begin with a smallish “pweet” followed by a much bolder and wet sounding “PLOOOF”.

    Needless to say that they always accompanied by an awful smell and can often spittle.

    Add a Skipper and I thought of our intrepid manager.

    Please feel free to Google Milk Fart for additional information.





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  5. -are always or always are-

    Forgive my typo Please

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  6. Milk Fart Skipper, a bit grotesque, but it'll do!

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  7. I think Booney is more of a Brain Fart guy

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  8. celerino - in Boone’s case they’re the same thing

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  9. The Milk Fart Skipper. This is why I am here. It sure as fuck is NOT for the play of These Your 2023 New York Yankees. Despite this, I am going to continue to root for those who require and are my worthy of my emotion and support.

    Go Little Tony!


    Unwavering positivity.

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  10. Josh a question . . . .

    How many more ABs will it take for Donaldson (MR .136) to drop below .100?

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  11. How about lactic acid wind rather than milk fart?

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  12. I don’t have cable and rely on the radio… so… when did Gerrit Cole get so freakin’ fat? The at bats with Cabasanlucabellaro are funny,.. and thats the point of the video… but HE’S SO FAT!

    https://youtu.be/FTU_UbnSC2Y

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  13. Thuhhhhhhhhhh Yankees win!!!

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  14. The Seattle TV announcers were decent if not a bit boring. Ex-Yankee Mike Blowers did the color but I don't know who did the play-by-play. It wasn't Dave Sims, the ex-WFAN sports show host although he does most Mariners TV games. It was different than watching YES because there were no jokesters going for inane laughs and incessant chatter to fill air time.

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  15. Milk Fart?
    Brain Fart?

    He’s more of s as BRIAN fart…

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  16. We OWN those Mariners! I'm sure we'll face them in the playoffs.

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  17. Glad to hear that Bader's no longer going all-out in the outfield, because he brings so much else to his game.

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  18. HC999 - He brings us his mouth guard. And isn't that all any of us need?

    ReplyDelete

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