As El Duque is off to a secret location somewhere near Canandaigua to take part in his annual Drunk Week (Sort of like Shark Week and probably just as bloody, or as the old joke goes… “I went to the doctor. He asked me for a blood sample a urine sample and a stool sample and I said, “Take my underwear.” )
Where was I? Ah, yes… El Duque is off enjoying has annual
bacchanal and has left the rest of us to mind the store. So… 75% off all Luis
Severino merch and we’re going to do a BOGO with the bullpen.
Why? Because we are one week away from the trade deadline. It’s
Let’s Make a Deal time hosted by our own personal Monty Hell. Our annual
Mistake Con. Where the con comes from anyone dealing with Brian Cashman.
“Sure, he’s batting .056 and only has one leg, but his hard-hit
rate is in the top 5% of players batting under .100 plus he was an All-Star
only three years ago before the surgery and the leprosy issue. But hey you don’t
need your nose to hit home runs, right? He’s due to revert to the back of his
baseball card any day now.”
In a small, and I do mean small, way I kind of feel sorry
for the Brain. After all this is the only job, he’s known for the past twenty-five
years and, even though he is an abysmal failure, perhaps the worst GM in the
history of New York sports, a guy who makes Dave Gettleman and Isaiah Thomas look
like geniuses... by next year he could easily sitting in his living room wearing
an elf suit and rappelling down a bottle of vodka.
Now to the main business before us…
The real question facing this team is BUY or SELL.
This will help. Let’s think of the team as say, the final
season of The Love Boat.
Sure Captain Stubing was still there and who doesn’t love Bernie Koppel, but they traded Ted Lange for Ted McGinley, and added,” The Love Boat Mermaids” as if that could make up for it. Also, for some reason they refused to DFA Fred Grandy and drug issues reduced Lauren Tewes participation to a guest appearance.
No amount guest shots by Carol Channing, Tom Bosley, and Jo Ann Pflug were going to make this cruise any more enjoyable. The ship be sinkin ‘ and the team be stinkin’.
Conclusion: SELL! Sell Sevi. Sell Bader. Sell Gleyber. Sell them all! Put Judge and Cole in a lifeboat throw in
Volpe and Peraza as cabin boys and start rowing because, I don’t know if I can stick around for The
Love Boat: The Next Wave (A real show BTW – you can look it up.)
SELL!
Sell, Mortimer, sell!
ReplyDeleteAnd just keep right on selling until you've sold the franchise to someone who gives a fuck, Hal.
Hal isn’t going to sell this multi-generationally owned juggernaut of a Family Affair just yet.
ReplyDeleteThey also aren’t going into the trade deadline as full sellers either.
It’s bidness as usual for CashCo
He’s gunna straddle Hal’s pickle
And deal from the middle
It’s like spinning the prize wheel at the soup kitchen, my friends.
Garbage in and Garbage out.
What else have we got to give.
“Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to win
Nothin', and that's all that Cashman left for me, yeah
But feelin' bad was easy, Lord, when he sang the Boones
And swinging through strikes was good enough for me, mmm-hmm
Good enough for me and my Brian Cashman, yeah
La-da-da, la-da-da-da, la-da-da-da-da-da-da
La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, Brian Cashman , yeah
La-da-da-da-da, la-da-da-da-da
Pretty funny, Doug!
ReplyDeleteBut they are STILL hoping to make a run. Errggh.
Well put Dougl
ReplyDeleteWe’d all like to see a sale, but inside we know it ain’t happening. I just hope we don’t overpay for any rentals and keep 2024 in mind for any deals. I guess sweeping the Royals doesn’t help. After playing the Mess, we’ve got BLT, TB, HOU for 10 games. Could be the death knell for this season.
@ AA, That sounds like the Janis Joplin version, which I think pretty much everyone has heard.
ReplyDeleteThe Kris Kristopherson original version just doesn't have any zing to it. I guess that's why he's as much known for his movies as for his music. The Joplin version swings and rocks. Such a pity she died of a drug overdose at 27.
Pity indeed, Hammer.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes - I borrowed and modified the Joplin version - consider that a closure to yesterday's amusing (and so far from the truth) hippy comment.
"But feelin' bad was easy, Lord, when he sang the Boones
And swinging through strikes was good enough for me, mmm-hmm"