For Josh Donaldson and Yankee fans, our long national nightmare is over

Last night, Jackie Donaldson hit an invisible juju god while running out a grounder, and it was all he could do just to shamble towards the dugout like Liza Minelli after a sixpack of Coors Light. He's out for what... four weeks? Six? Eight? Until September? Until Doomsday? Until somebody gives a shit? Because around here, I have the distinct feeling that nobody does.  

Basically, the sinkhole that opened at 3B right around this time last year just unleashed a loud, satisfying belch, as if to say (in native sinkholese:) "Who's next?"

Another Cashmanic trade acquisition - now, long past his sell-by date - will likely end another painful Yankee career in the jacuzzi, while YES truthers faithfully update us on his healing process. We will know when Donaldson can bend over to tie his shoe. We will know when he can it a ball off a tee. We will know when he can eat spaghetti with a fork and spoon, without dolloping sauce onto his chest. 

And with a little luck, we won't see him again.  

Look, I hate being so negative about a Yankee player. If Donaldson had hit for us, if he were five years younger, he'd be one of my faves. In fact, I resent having to root for an endless stream of former stars, who are woefully overwhelmed in their final career incarnations. I'll give credit to Donaldson for valiantly maintaining his defense at 3B, while his bat turned to foam rubber. But his numbers for the 2023 season are an exercise in pain tolerance. On the year, he ranks:

6th on the team in HRs, with 10
13th in RBIs, with 15 (behind Willie Calhoun)
20th in batting average, with .142 (behind Franchy Cordero) 
19th in on-base percentage, with .225 (ahead of Franchy Cordero)

Often, just as they seem ready to pull out of massive slumps, Yankee vets tweak something. (On that note, beware of Giancarlo Stanton, everybody.) That's not the case with Donaldson. Over the last 30 days, he was hitting .150. Over the last 14 days, .138. Over the last seven, .100. To watch Donaldson come to the plate with runners on base was like channeling George C. Scott in the movie "Hardcore," where he screams at the screen, "TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!" And yet, we still watched...

So, now what? Presumably, we will finally get to see what Oswald Peraza can do at the MLB level, at least before the Yankees shop him around for another aging veteran. 

Nobody knows what this team will look like on Aug. 2, after Cashman disassembles the roster in his annual trade deadline game of Scrabble. But many of us were wondering if the Yankees would DFA Donaldson, allowing him to sign with another team, and maybe resurrect his dead career (as Aaron Hicks did with Baltimore.)

Well, Donaldson - (and our true hero, that invisible juju god) - just nixed that concern. Unless Peraza goes 0-for-July, the Yankee offense just improved. I don't think we'll see Donaldson again in a Yankee uniform, and that's okay.