Last night, balloons of happiness dropped over the YES Channel, as the Death Barge celebrated a Big Yankee Win ™ over baseball's second worst team, coaxing Kansas City's 71st loss of the season. The Royals are last in the untesticled AL Central and 26.5 games down in the expanded Wild Card, MLB's version of awarding trophies to toddlers. The franchise - known for Brett, Otis and Mayberry Pratto, Isbell and Waters - appeared on YES as a roving nostalgia show, featuring the fossilized remains of an ancient rivalry.
I wonder: Do the current residents of KC still loathe us? Do they remember Li'l Freddy Patek bawling in the dugout? Or the Mad Hungarian losing his psycho? Is anything left of that long-ago war of primitives, which is now only recalled by crotchety future coffin-fillers on Prevagen?
Honestly, I dunno. Wait. Who are you? How did I get here? Did you know that stuff comes from jelly fish? Oh well, wait... I DO know this...
This weekend, KC might just hold our long term fate in its trembling tiny hands. If the Royals get swept - Ryan McBroom! - it could give Brian Cashman the impetus to remake this moribund Yankee team at next week's trade deadline, all so we can chase that final wild card nothing-burger. Three home wins over this rusted tomato can could propel Cashman to claim his failed strategies have worked, and we might end up with another Joey Gallo or Frankie Montas for our August/September run to nowhere.
Last night, I watched the entire game not even sure of whom to root for. Yes, it was nice to see Franchy Cordero hit a HR, but he'll soon go 0-for-25. Yes, it was fun to watch Billy McKinney star at the bat and in the field, but is he anything more than a stopgap? We used the pillars of our bullpen - King, Peralta, Kahnle and Holmes - to beat a team that has won 28 games this year. Twenty-eight. One more than Oakland, which once stole KC's team, and which will soon know how it feels to lose a franchise.
I'm sorry, folks, but the 2023 Yankee team has 2013 written all over it. Moving forwards, the biggest question might be whether they will ruin Aaron Judge for 2024, by pressuring him to come back too soon, without foot surgery. Instead of buying at the deadline, we should be selling. And I think everybody knows it. Cashman and Food Stamps Hal simply cannot deal with this reality, and they will do anything to avoid it coming to a head.
Folks, we are nearing the precipice. Look over it, if you dare. But this is the question: If we sweep KC, will we end up regretting it for the next 10 years?
I'm already geared up for ten years of regret.
ReplyDeleteThose Royals seemed like mostly d-bags as my current old self reflects on my young self's option. Brett seemed like a guy I always just wanted to punch.
ReplyDeleteWhoever took out Willie at 2d., needed to get drilled like a new oil well.
Any news on who much longer Harrison Brittle will be out of action?
I miss his endless neurotic chewing of his mouthguard.
I trust the Yankees Front Office to do the wrong thing...
ReplyDeleteComment moderation is on. Sorry for the inconvenience.
ReplyDeleteMeaning, your comments won't post automatically but will wait around until someone notices and waves them in.
ReplyDeleteA very precarious 5-4 win over the worst team in baseball. Upon such events does Cashman build his fantasies.
ReplyDeleteI hear that there’s good money in comment moderation these days.
ReplyDeleteIs there a problem here?
ReplyDeleteBTR - I suspect that the moderation (now with health, dental AND vision benefits) is due to some recent toxicity of one form or another.
ReplyDeletePlease try to save your heat vision and freeze breath for the true trinity of toxicity - HALZER, CASHARONI, and BOONESY
A/A, we should just ignore the toxic posts and trolling.
ReplyDeleteAgreed, 999
ReplyDeleteSweep? They barely won last night. I don't think we have too much to worry about. Regardless of what happens with these Royals, I think the Mets and the Orioles will save the Yankees, by kicking them all around the ball park. If something happens, I expect it'll happen right before the deadline, so by that time, these guys should be "stick a fork in them" done.
ReplyDeleteI wish ignoring the toxic posts *were* the solution, but it just doesn't happen.
ReplyDeleteCole is pitching
ReplyDeletewhat could
Possibly
go
w r O. n. G
We’ll, it always a better day when we are visited by *Stang*
ReplyDeleteThey shouldn’t be buying, but they nothing to sell. Other than Coke, who wants any of this trash? Do you really think any real contender thinks Torres puts them over the top?
ReplyDeleteAwww, thanks, AA.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to go sit by Lake El Duque and listen to The Master on this rare beautiful day. So I'll turn moderation off for the game. Please try not to engage with any posts of the kind we were talking about.
Thank you Stang for keeping an eye on things, it's MUCH appreciated!
ReplyDeleteStang - we’ve updated your work agreement to include six weeks vacation (up from three), auto vesting of 100% of your shares if acquired (up from 50%), and a code for free access to all vending machines within the corporate offices.
ReplyDeleteThanks again for all your hard work and dedication.
Protected by Stang is available for copyright and trademarking, by the way.
ReplyDeleteThe Yankees will do as a team what our individual washed up players do: get hot for a little while, even a game or two, to avoid DFAs for awhile. "Trying to turn things around" or "showing signs of coming out of it."
You know, whatever Kay would blather. A couple tomato can wins and suddenly, we're right back in it. Rationalizing the next bumbling move by Cashman.
Rizzo flat out killing this team
ReplyDeleteNow we know who smells the best in the Yes broadcast booth. Yay
ReplyDeleteVolpe steals third.
ReplyDeleteAA, who smells the best in the booth?
ReplyDeleteVolpe scores. Speed kills.
ReplyDeleteStanton the only player without a strikeout so far.
ReplyDeleteThere's your Stanton whiff. With a guy on third and one out.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYankees Win!!!
ReplyDeleteAlright all we need is a sweep of the royals and then proceed to lose 7/9 games for a fire sale
ReplyDeletePaul thinks Meredith smells better than Michael, JM.
ReplyDeleteI did a screen grab of the moment that I’ll share with E.D., along with my painting of what Brain Cashman really looks like at some point later today.
ReplyDeleteAnybody has to smell better than Kay.
ReplyDeleteEven if we sweep tomorrow, what does it mean? That we’re better than the worst?
ReplyDeleteNext week only 5 games. Probably split with Mets, then..BLT? How do we beat them?
it mean nothing
ReplyDeleteWho says this team is done? Why it's nearly August and we've almost caught the Knicks in the covers race.
ReplyDeleteTrue True True BUT - sometimes it is better to die and be reborn rather than stumble over and over and over again
ReplyDeleteClimbing out of my coffin, I have to say that was pretty funny, Duque...and that I'd pay cash money for those old NYY/KC games of yore.
ReplyDeleteBut as far as the next 10 years? They are gone in any case.
Cashie already has his excuse in the Judge injury, and if all else fails, his scapegoat in Boone.
I think it goes something like this:
2024—Cashman brings back the same team, saying it was just bad luck that kept them from winning it all.
2025—Boone is fired in mid-season, with Yanks in last place again.
2027—Manager Sean Casey is fired, when HAL a well-known lover of Irish literature, says that he thought they had hired Sean O'CASEY.
2028—Judge returns from toe injury, says that he can run around the bases on home runs, at least.
2029—Cashman announces Yankees "rebuilding plan." Claims it will take at least 4 years. Anthony McCarren chastises "impatient Yankees fans" for wanting a quicker result.
2033—Brian Cashman announces that "Rebuilding Plan #2" will now commence. He expects it to be finished in another 5 years. Michael Kay chastises "impatient Yankees fans."
wow hc - that is really super sad. :(
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete2034-Most of the impatient Yankee fans on this blog are deceased or similarly cognitively non-functional having never seen another WS Championship.
ReplyDelete2035-Cashman tells us to be patient.
Well, at least another Yankee gets into the HOF today.
ReplyDeleteThey traded McGriff?
Never mind.