Off-day deliriums: Mathematically, the Yankees still have a chance, sorta. Sevy cracks the IIH list of Yankee disappointments. And a plan to save the franchise

The Barge of Death has 47 games left. Forty-seven: the atomic number of silver, the 15th prime number, the telephone country code for Norway. Think of the AK-47 - a bizarre, dangerous number, which I predict will soon be replaced by 46. BTW, no Yanks currently wear either #47 or #46. Strange, eh? You think that's a coincidence (or "co-ink-i-dink," as The Master says.) Well, I sure don't.

Today, we sit 5 (five) games out in the wild card youth participation ribbon chase. That might not seem like much - nothing that a quick, 10-game win streak can't solve. Trouble is, there are five superior teams ahead of us. Five. (Okay, maybe four - let's forget Boston; why torture ourselves...) 

Seattle has MLB's best record since the all-star break. Toronto faces the easiest remaining schedule, a daisy chain of tomato cans: The Nats, Rockies, A's and Royals. Wow. BYO ziti.

Of course, it doesn't matter who the Yankees play. They just dropped 2 of 3 to the 4th worst team in Creation. Five games out might look doable, if Aaron Judge whacks two per night. But since the Capt. returned, in games we absolutely needed to win, the Yankees are 5-8. That's China Town, Jake. 

The final AL wild card berth will likely require at least 90 wins. To get there, the Yankees must win at least 31 of their final 47. (Two prime numbers, by the way. A co-inki-dink?) 

Early last year, between April and May, they won at such a clip. Then everything went Ellsbury, and Cooperstown Cashman blew up the roster. Theoretically, they could do it again. But they won't. Nope. No chance. We know this. We have stared wide-eyed into the jaws of hell, and we have seen this team's fiery destiny. It is more likely to lose 31 of 47, and - frankly - we might be better off, long term, with such a fate.

At RAB Thoughts, the great Mike Axisa crunched some numbers yesterday. I'm stealing from him. Please subscribe to his site. But here's what the rest of creation would have to do to NOT win the wild card.

Rays: 20-26 or worse
Astros: 23-24 or worse
Blue Jays: 24-22 or worse
Mariners: 27-21 or worse
Red Sox: 30-18 or worse
Angels: 31-15 or worse
Guardians: 34-13 or worse

Any two of these teams could collapse. But for the Yanks to reach 90, they must not only play out of their skulls, but five of those seven teams must utterly flop. Let's say Cleveland, the Angels, Boston and Seattle go up in flames. That still leaves Tampa, Houston and the hateful Jays. That's a damn dim flicker at the end of a Stygian tunnel. 

In other matters... 

With his latest meltdown, Luis Severino has now made the IT IS HIGH MODERN YANKEE DISAPPOINTMENT TOP 15 LIST. Here's the updated rankings.

1. Jacoby Ellsbury
2. Carl Pavano
3. Jesus Montero
4. Hideki Irabu
5. Gary Sanchez
6. Clint Frazier
7. Greg Bird
8. Ruben Rivera
9. Luis Severino
10. Kei Igawa
11. Joey Gallo
12. Javier Vasquez
13. Michael Pineda
14. Giancarlo Stanton
15. Miguel Andujar

Super all-time Disappointment Hall of Fame: Brian Cashman
Runner up: Hal.

Finally, here's a simple, long-term solution for saving the Yankees: 

Buy Baltimore. 

In five years, that team's stars will be free agents, and none will re-sign with the cheapO's. The Yanks should secretly buy the franchise and selectively move its best players to NYC. This must be done with finesse, so nobody gets suspicious. 

Already, Gotham should start the recruitment/seduction. Adley Rutschman should host a weekly show on YES. Austin Hays should become a fixture at the Met Gala. New York's army of celebrities should reach out to these young Baltimore stars, and each should be given fantastic Manhattan apartments, overlooking the hooker district, so the upcoming soul-capture runs smoothly. In five years, Gunnar Henderson will be 27. We need to set his table now.