Thursday, August 17, 2023

Sorry, Arizona, but that whoosh you heard was the Starr Insurance Yankees leap-frogging you in the Draft Lottery Tankathon. Angels, you're next!

Remember how they marketed The Magnificent Seven, way back in 1960? "SEVEN MEN, BUT THEY FOUGHT LIKE SEVEN HUNDRED!" 

We just watched The Fearsome Five: "FIVE LOSSES, BUT THEY FELT LIKE FIFTY!" 

This Yankee collapse has been Biblical: Two shutouts, a one-hitter, a blow-out and a  walk-off bullpen meltdown. This stuff should come with a rain of frogs and the reincarnation of Yul Brenner. In terms of the Yankees, this is an End-Times moment.  

With each loss - and the games are over by the 3rd - the '23 Yankees further etch their legacy into the folklore of NYC sewers: No alligators down there, just Joey Gallo and a legion of left-fielders, as they explore exotic new ways to torture the Starr Insurance Co. 

The tanking has begun, and it is our only - albeit meager - hope. By losing last night, the Yankees picked up ground on the Angels, Padres, Tigers and Mets in their quest for a better 2024 draft. You can argue that it won't matter: The Yanks will draft some guy headed for Tommy John surgery. But a win last night would have meant nothing. It's better to lose, to tear off the mask, to remind Gotham that the Yankees are a losing team with nothing to sell but a far-off history - Roger Maris Bobble-Head Night? Really? - with no connection to modern times. Even codgers like myself have no memory of the years when the Yankee dynasty began. Living off them is a joke.

The worst part: A sense that nothing will change. Next year, we will suffer the same owner and his front office of nephews and sycophants, who will make the same brutal mistakes that landed us in this flaming shit pit of quicksand. This is not a one-year aberration. This is not a glitch in The Matrix. This is the slow-motion collapse of an ancient empire. Years ago, the roof started caving, and it's worsened each season. It's beyond repair. It needs a teardown, but that would require the engineers of this disaster to assume responsibility for their deeds. 

What? Am I being too negative? Sorry. So... here's a happy thought: We can't lose tonight. No game.

Honestly, there are no words to describe the anger I have about this team, other than to remind everyone that Hal Steinbrenner is still making money off our obsessions, and as far as he's concerned, the shrimps are on the grill and the 19th hole features  icy martinis. I suspect that - all things considered - Hal would prefer to win: He'd be a hit at the club, and the team would make more money. But he'll never walk among us, and in that rarified air, all is fine. No need to panic. You could say the Yankees do have one great star -their insurance. So, can I get six losses in a row? Angels, we're coming for you.  

41 comments:

  1. @ Horace....A follow-up on your Rudy G. comments. Enjoy!

    Here is the " Quote of the Day":

    Mobsters ‘Fucking Thrilled’ With Giuliani’s RICO Charge
    August 17, 2023

    Veteran mob lawyer Murray Richman told The Messenger that he’s “spoken to several of my clients” since Rudy Giuliani was charged with violating Georgia’s Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act.

    Said Richman: “You can quote me to say, ‘They’re fucking thrilled.”

    Jeffrey Lichtman, who represented Gambino crime family member, John Gotti, added: “All of my clients who had the misfortune of being prosecuted by him are laughing now. As am I. It’s not just an ironic result but it’s a just result. He was a horribly dishonest prosecutor and the wheel of karma is about to crush him.”

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  2. @ El Duque....Hal and the other members of the Bloated Front Office® project indifference and disdain toward the fans as much as Clarence Thomas, Joseph Alito, and John Roberts do toward the American public. In other words, " Tough shit, what are you gonna do about it?"
    But...I get the sense that those fans and those in the media have had enough and I can hear, see and feel the animosity building at the team. I sense a widespread rebellion brewing that once erupted will not be pretty!

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  3. From this AMs NY Post

    "They will change developmental culture back to old Yankees days. Keep in mind, I played in the Yanks’ org before analytics (2016-2018) and then after (2018-2020). Stark difference in developments.”

    Braun said he asked Ruta for an example and he pointed to spring training in 2020, prior to the COVID shutdowns.

    “Here’s all you need to know,” Ruta said. “In 2020, before COVID hit spring training we played a game called ‘pitchers vs hitters,’ the only way to score a point was to walk or hit a ball 95 mph-plus. There’s no baseball being taught there anymore. No baserunning, moving runners, fundamentals, etc.”

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  4. This organization sucks, but we know that.

    This team sucks, but we know that.

    Boone is an idiot, but we know that.

    Cashman is wildly incompetent, but we know that.

    Most of us will not live to see another Yankees team as World Series champions, but we know that.

    We don't like any of it, but we know it.

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  5. JM - it’s Thursday - but we know that.

    Please: Tell us something that we don’t know

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  6. We suck, but you all know that. What’s intolerable is the mealymouthed bullshit that dribbles out of Aaron Boone’s sticky lips. It’s a level of bullshit that could not be created by even a Dopesick junkie. We don’t want this bullshit. We want somebody who’s going to get angry and fight. When the United States got run out of Burma at the beginning of World War II, general Vinegar Joe Stillwell gave a memorable speech, in which he admitted complete defeat, said that they had gotten chased out and then vowed to come back fighting. You can’t get better until you admit complete defeat. Aaron’s pablum is infuriating. We want somebody who gets pissed off. They will never get as pissed off as we fans because we have been suffering at their hands, but we need somebody who gets pissed off. Hal does not care. Brian is too stupid and narcissistic. We are alone and adrift and nobody is coming to save us. Sell the fucking team, Hal, Sell the fucking team

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  7. 13Bit-ter is correct and also quite inspirational.

    Thinking about how wonderful a name Vinegar Joe Stillwell is, I starting thinking what other condiments would nicely plug-in in front of our treasonous terrible trio of toxicity.

    I’ll start:

    Yellow Mustard Boone

    anyone…….please…….don’t be shy

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  8. Speaking of the draft, can anyone offer a reason why teams are not permitted to freely trade their picks?

    Why is the draft held in season?

    Why not combine the draft with the Rule 5 draft?

    None of this would help the Yankees, due to their poor decision making, but it would add fresh interest to an otherwise dull event

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  9. Good points, 999—and hilarious, AA! Love Vinegar Joe Stilwell; one of the all-time great fighting names, along with the likes of "Fighting Joe" Hooker (though he didn't fight so good).

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  10. Here’s another one -

    Hellman’s Hal

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  11. Fighting Joe Hooker should have been more accurately called "Fuckin' Joe Hooker."

    He always had a coterie of "ladies" attached to his camp. They became known as Hooker's Girls, or as they came to be known in the common language: hookers.

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  12. @ DickAllen, Is that true??? Never knew that, wow! So if he had been more engrossed with fightin' than fuckin'....

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  13. @ AA, here's one: Brown Nose Boonie. Not a condiment, at least so far as I'm concerned, but to Boone it might be, considering his peculiar tastes.

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  14. @ Doug K. "Ruta said. “In 2020, before COVID hit spring training we played a game called ‘pitchers vs hitters,’ the only way to score a point was to walk or hit a ball 95 mph-plus. There’s no baseball being taught there anymore. No baserunning, moving runners, fundamentals, etc.”

    WOW, JUST WOW!!!! This is the first I'm hearing of this, but I FREAKING KNEW IT!!!! The lack of fundamentals was amazing. This is confirmation of it. I see the "hit strikes hard" and exit velocity bullshit that they've been spewing. Crazy stuff, a misuse of analytics. Trying to turn baseball into rocket science.

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  15. El Duque: "Even codgers like myself have no memory of the years when the Yankee dynasty began. Living off them is a joke.The worst part: A sense that nothing will change. Next year, we will suffer the same owner and his front office of nephews and sycophants, who will make the same brutal mistakes that landed us in this flaming shit pit of quicksand."

    In all physical sports, martial arts, and so forth, the past does not really exist. The past and the future exist only in our imaginations. There is only the present, here and now. The phrase "what have you done for me lately?" comes to mind, along with "you're only as good as what you just did". Every ball player has to prove himself every time he comes up to hit, every time he has to field a ball, every time he has to throw a pitch.

    It's cruel, in a way. The franchise has won 27 championships, but none of that matters right now. It's high time that the bozos in Yankee ownership and management understood that. Nobody effing cares what the team did in 1927. Well, we do care in a way, as Yankee fans, but I mean that it doesn't have anything to do with what's happening now. Stanton is not going to get it done now just because we think of what he did back in his magical year with the Marlins.

    Living off the past is not something that ends well in physical sports. HAL and Cashman would be better served switching their interests to fine arts, like painting. Or films or music records. Performances that were recorded in time and that will never change, that were captured on a medium for all eternity. For physical sports like baseball, the past only exists in our minds.

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  16. AA,

    Moldy tartar sauce pretty much describes the entire front orifice.

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  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  18. 27 championships is very misleading. There were 20 between 1923-1962. Then nothing until 1977 and 78. Then nothing until the late '90s. And nothing until 2009. And nothing since.

    7 World Series championships in 60 years is no big deal. It's okay, but it's not 20 out of 40, which is the era that cemented the "Most Successful Team in Professional Sports" claim.

    AA, I can't tell you something you don't know because you know as much as I do. But you know that.

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  19. I'm not so sure opening any kind of an insurance policy with Starr is a good idea.

    Hitching themselves to the Yankees bandwagon until 2031 seems like awfully bad timing.

    Sort of what it must have felt like to be Lloyd's when they heard the news about the Titanic.

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  20. @BTR,

    Isn't the draft held after college baseball season? That gives them until the next season to sign them.

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  21. Hal Steinbrenner may snort my taint.

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  22. A Michael Kay Quote from a story in today's Post (of NY)

    “I get it. But you can’t say they always get it wrong, like they’re a bumbling organization that can’t get out of its own way and can’t make the postseason,” Kay said to Rosenberg.

    “That’s stupid! You sound like a fan!”

    so many words come to mind -

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  23. Objective and competent are probably not among them.

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  24. How does Kay announce the game, when he had Cashman’s balls in his mouth 24/7

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  25. Celerino - I don’t know but he does it every game.

    I wonder what he’d sound like with an empty mouth

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  26. That’s true Ruf, but consider how other sports (NFL, NBA) do it. Why should it take months and months to sign draft picks? Adding the Rule 5 players would add real juice as would trading draft picks. There is no goddam earthly reason not to trade draft picks. As I said, Cashman & Co. would undoubtedly screw it up, but having the draft in say, early December would enhance the appeal of the game without resorting to shoddy tactics such as ghost runners and having almost half the teams qualify for the playoffs.

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  27. BTR,

    Agree on all counts. I was just relaying supposed reasoning.

    None of it matters with the imbecils the Yankees have in charge.

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  28. It’s amazing how all these baseball guys back their brethren. Steve Phillips was on Mad Dog saying how great a GM Cashman is, this would be his first losing season. And when Dog presses on payroll, player development, etc. Phillips just glosses over and says who else are you going to get.

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  29. @ Celerino, I've heard that stupid argument by others on WFAN. "Who else are you going to get?" & "There is no one else." * "Where are you going to find a GM?" WOW, the stupidity temperature just went up by a factor of a zillion.

    I was thinking they could go with any number of retired players. That's one route. Another would be to lure away a real good GM with another team, or an assistant GM (with the proper experience) who is ready to take the next step. But that's not our job as fans to know who to hire. If you're in the baseball business, HAL, it's your job to know or to find someone with the right baseball knowledge, skills and experience to bring in as the next GM.

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  30. Fuck Mariano/Pettite/Bernie/Jeter

    Hell A-Rod

    can prolly develop a better organization than fuckin cashman

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  31. SOMEBODY ANYBODY...
    As the Angels are finding out... anything that comes from Yankee Brass is HIGHLY overrated

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  32. I was thinking that too .... Anyone would be a vast improvement over Cashman.

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  33. Weak commentary is then norm from all the poobahs. Who you gonna get? The answer to that should be an indignant explosion of stupefied outrage followed by a strident ad hominem attack on the honesty of the interviewee who certainly knows better but finds it all too easy to hide behind the old protest of answering a question with a question, a tactic which would get you booted off a middle school debate team.

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  34. Exactly, guys! First, to deal with priorities:

    As concerns the Civil War, DickAllen: I've heard that, too, about "hookers." But I think the term more likely comes from NYC street culture in the 19th century.

    In that time, a lot of shops had guys who specialized in "hooking in" passing pedestrians. They would step up, grab the passers-by arm in theirs, and "hook them" into the shop. I suspect prostitutes—then often called "night walkers" did the same.

    Gen. Hooker...what's that law about rising to your place of failure? He was aggressive, which was good, got put in charge of the whole Army of the Potomac...and didn't notice as Stonewall Jackson flanked his entire army at Chancellorsville. Then, a shell hit right next to him at the house from which he was commanding, killing an aide and most of his hearing. He seems to have commanded the rest of the battle in shock.

    Put back down to corps commander...he did very well at the battle for Chattanooga.

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  35. Joe, you're fucking right. And JM...EXACTLY. The Yankees won most of those championships while the Steinbrenner's were still running the Edmund Fitzgerald.

    It wasn't hard to keep finishing with a winning record or even first, with half the teams in the league tanking. Now Cashman has to show his stuff. Big surprise: he hasn't got any.

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  36. And Hammer, Doug: I liked the Rufa stuff. But Cash started sucking a long, long time ago.

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  37. Sorry to change the subject, but Giancarlo Stanton is the new Joey Gallo. A .201 batting average? Are you kidding me?

    I never want to hear Cashman cry poverty again.

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  38. First off, I have come to loathe Cashman even though he has taken a lot of shots due to things out of his control. Look around baseball and you'll see plenty of GMs who were considered imbeciles for a decade, move to another club and suddenly things click. I don't follow the sport nearly closely enough to offer an explanation, but it happens. A lot. Cashman needs to be fired, or at least kicked upstairs.

    Finding his replacement is no easy task. Remember, a GM needs management experience, big time organizational skills, psychological insight, baseball savvy, ad infinitum. IMHO, Hal needs to go after assistant GMs, from clubs on the rise, someone preferably in the 45-50 year old age bracket. Re-cycled GMs, well sometimes...

    One other thing, and this is especially important for a hands off owner like Hal seems to be. A GM should also be a man of absolute honestly and integrity. It's very easy to save money on scouts, coaches, equipment, and so on only to redirect that money into a "special fund". As fans we know quite a bit about expenditures on players. But the REAL stars are the scouts... How long has it been since the Yankees have actually had minor league teams that are loaded at all levels year in and year out? The Rays (and they have been good for a long enough time that the old excuse "well they draft early" is bullshit , Cardinals, Dodgers, usually the Braves, Astros keep doing what the Yankees cannot. Something very peculiar about this "run of bad luck", you know? Well, I was in business for a long time, and maybe I'm just being cynical.... Just saying.

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