They say a picture is worth 1,000 words, unless you're working with an A.I. chatbot, in which case a deep fake photo probably costs slightly more.
This still shot comes from last night's surgical loss to dismally awful Chicago White Sox (22 games below .500) in the 8th inning, around 10:30 p.m. Eastern, after storms had passed through the Northeast, and Elon Musk had chickened out of his cage match against Mark Zuckerberg. (Damn, I speak for humanity in saying the world NEEDS that fight.)
It shows Yank manager Aaron Boone protesting a called third strike on Anthony Volpe, (which, for whatever it's worth, did catch the corner of the strike zone.)
At the time, the game remained winnable. The Death Barge was down by only one run. The 2023 team would eventually lose 5-1, in its now trademark, cringeworthy style.
So... here's Biggie Wallow a few moments later, raising his fist in righteous fury. These days, nobody beats Boonie's Bombs without facing a rain of gale force spittle. As you can see, the YES scoreboard has already processed the out, and Higgy is now officially the batter. But our hero is raging at the cosmos, the universe, the juju gods and - maybe - Elon.
A few moments later, and Boonie has relocated his cryptid presence at home plate, where he is re-enacting the decline and fall of western civilization, by waiving his arms. It's a delightful show. The umpires are standing back, as Boonie's bootie movement dazzles small children, stealing a page from the Shakira hit, "Hips Don't Lie." Hey, does anyone out there remember the Solid Gold dancers? The musical Chicago? All That Jazz? This guy, he's got pizzazz.
Now, after doing the home plate shimmy and rectal flow dance, here's the hardest working man in show business, spreading his arms and shouting his new, sitcom catchphrase: WHA? ME? MAMA MIA, WHA HAPPAN? Folks, this is entertainment.
Their season, of course, is over. But if we're lucky, we'll get to see more Boonie shenangigans over the final eight weeks. With a loss tonight, they can clinch a series defeat. Let's just hope the Yankee manager is on his game. WHA? ME? MAMA MIA, WHA HAPPAN?
Boone saved the Laz dance for us….
ReplyDeleteBoone left it all on the field after his ejaction….
Yes indeed. Boone gave Diaz an earful
ReplyDeleteThe shanan, followed by the shanan-again
He just need Myrtle Streep to sing a few show tunes with him.
ReplyDeleteSeptember baseball in New York is going to be horrible...
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ReplyDeleteAre there really 8 more weeks of this reinforced suckitude ahead of us?
300 million for this. Who amoung us would do worse?
ReplyDeleteYou know. whenever I'm having a problem in life - fading,fucking up, losing it, lazy, what-have-you - and I have to explain it to ANYone, my new go-to is going to be, "Yeah, but I'm having better at bats."
ReplyDeleteCan't get it up? Tell her - or him or them - "Yeah, but I'm having better at bats lately."
Boss reams you out at work? - "Yeah, but I'm having better at bats."
Disappoint the kids by missing the Little League game? - "Yeah, but I'm having better at bats."
Fall down drunk and pass out in front of the relatives? - "Yeah, but I'm having better at bats."
Run a light and the trooper pulls you over? - "Yeah, but I'm having better at bats."
Can't pay the bills and the credit companies are after you? - "Yeah, but I'm having better at bats."
Whatever situation you find yourself in - and life is filed with failures that can be turned into lessons, in teaching experiences, you - WE - now have a great new philosophy - "Yeah, but I'm having better at bats."
The glass may be half full or half empty or completely broken, but at least THERE'S A FUCKING GLASS, YOU ASSHOLES. Some people don't even have a glass, you ingrate. Shut up and be glad we spent 300 million on the glass, tweakerhead.
And if you happen to be a pro baseball player who has done nothing else since boyhood but train to hit a ball - except G-Man Stanton, who just does body training - and IF you have professional coaches whose job is to make sure you can correct yourself at times in order to keep hitting the ball, and IF you have a whole organization devoted to getting you to successfully HIT the fucking ball, but you STILL can't hit the fucking ball, for whatever reason, just remember, it's okay as long as you're having better at bats.
Time to stop pretending that they're contending. Time to bring up any kids who have the fundamentals and the mental toughness right effing now and develop them up here. Time to put Judge on the operating table and do the surgery.
ReplyDeleteA torn ligament is a big injury. The fact that it's his push off toe when batting is a killer. Even after the surgery, there is no guarantee that he'll ever be the same again. It could be a career destroying injury. Even if everything goes well, it could be be at least four months, maybe even SIX TO EIGHT MONTHS before he can come back. So it's smart to shut it down at this point and just begin to get him ready for next season.
This team stinks and it's not having better at-bats. It just stinks.
ReplyDelete@ Hammer....There is almost no chance that Judge's injury is career-threatening. Probably less than 1%. First of all, professional athletes have the best doctors to ameliorate injuries-even bad ones. Secondly, they aren't headed to "Jimmy's East Side Physical Therapy" after surgery. No, they get the best follow-up with cutting-edge technology, Long after he is retired, like the rest of us, he's certainly susceptible to arthritis in the joint. But that is far off.
ReplyDeleteDon't believe me? See a top Orthopedist's opinion in the video below:
https://www.usatoday.com/videos/sports/mlb/sportspulse/2023/07/11/orthopedic-surgeon-calls-aaron-judges-injury-manageable-problem/12235084002/
Or Maybe this incident will score the Yankee skipper a seven week suspension - allowing him enough time to return to squander our one game lead in the wild card and send everyone home for the winter
ReplyDelete@ AA....Is that Cashman's head at the cryogenics lab? Someone should put a quarter over each eye to keep them shut.
ReplyDeleteCarl - I have Judge’s toe (no not the real one floating around in a mason jar) but the injury.
ReplyDeleteAs I’ve said before surgery is the last resort. Ultra high end orthotics and great physical therapy can help even a professional athlete get back to near normal. Then, after retirement that can stick a rod in it and fuse that sucker if that’s what they want to do.
Alternatively they can hack it off and attach a Barbie or Ken head in its place. You know…..Dr Phibes style.
Two Words: Bionic Toe.
ReplyDeleteWe can freeze the amputated appendage in cryo- store next to Ted Williams’s head.
@ Carl, Yeah, not career threatening, but if he goes from a 1.100 OPS to a .750 OPS, it's career destroying in that regard.
ReplyDeleteSomeone on a previous thread also mentioned that maybe the pitchers are not running enough and that legs are as important to pitching as the throwing arm. That's certainly true. Roger Clemens used to do a lot of running. He got Andy Pettitte to do the same kind of program and Pettitte was throwing up his breakfast. It appears that they could use some of that running around here. Look at Cole, who reportedly has a new contract with Pillsbury as the new Pillsbury Doughboy model. (Poke that teddy bear tummy, haha!) Nester Cortes and Rodon both with hamstring issues. Rodon looking like he's packing a spare tire. Carrying an extra 20 pounds around don't help any type of athletic performance. These guys are fat!
Even political blogs are mocking the Yankees. From today's Electoral-vote.com
ReplyDelete"The two pending Carroll suits are still pending. Trump's suit, on the other hand, was dismissed yesterday by Judge Lewis Kaplan. And while he was at it, Kaplan issued a second order decreeing that Trump depositions from the Carroll lawsuit can be used in other suits, like the one involving Stormy Daniels. That means the former president went 0-for-2 in New York, which means that this season at least, he is eminently qualified to bat leadoff for the Yankees."
Bases loaded every inning, only one miserable run to show for it. We can look at the bright side of it: at least they now get the bases loaded. One step at a time. But it does make a guy feel like he's with a girl who likes to tease. One step away from a volcanic explosion ... and then she suddenly has to leave, she's got to meet her friend at the mall for a shake.
ReplyDeleteAA, yes, go totally Dr. Phibes! But give the stylin' to Hal, Levine, Trost, and The Brain! Now we are talkin'!
ReplyDeleteAnd @ CarlofCT - I wish it was Cashman at a cryogenics lab. But it's not. It's something far more insidious and awful.
ReplyDeleteHilarious, Bitty!
ReplyDeleteAnd I have faith in this team. I believe they can go STILL LOWER!
Nolan Ryan preached running, as did Seaver, hell all of the power pitchers. When Ryan became the GM of the Rangers, he said that his pitchers were going to 'run, run, run '. I remember following their pitching numbers that year. The staff was the best in years. Considering that successful pitchers stay low through their deliveries and derive their power from their legs then why wouldn't you strive for endurance? It seems that the coaches are emphasizing getting that extra two-four mph, which sounds really impressive during the telecasts. The problem is that the human body is NOT able to improve greatly in both explosiveness and endurance. SO, of course pitchers can't go through a lineup three times. They are too tired, fatigue leads to injuries, and all these trainers having gone through the "same" schools together keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Time will out the truth.
ReplyDeleteAA, great photo! A before coffee shot?😈
ReplyDelete@ 13 Bit or El Duque:
ReplyDeleteCan you post the name and address of the dive bar a few blocks from the stadium? I assume we are meeting at that same spot a few hours before the game. Someone asked but I couldn't remember the place. Thanks!
Okay, please disregard my request above. I understand that info will be disseminated via email to ticket holders.
ReplyDeleteif we told you in public, we'd have to feed you to Carl Pavano's pirahana tank...
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