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| Current Tankathon odds for a draft pick |
The Tankathon continues, and though the Death Starr Barge almost surely won't win the MLB draft lottery next July, any victories in these final 10 days will do nothing but save Brian Cashman's spongy pink buttolah. Hal should tell him it's over. The morning sun, when it's in your face, merely shows your age...
For the record, there remains a chance - an exceedingly subatomic-level one, but a chance, nonetheless - that we could take a top pick next year. It's about the same odds as dolphins rising up to protest casino gambling, but - hey, you never know. More likely, Boston or the Mets will win it - the exquisitely perfect ending to a disastrous year. Right now, the Yankees should run the table with losses. Even then, there is little hope. All they did was wreck my bed, and in the morning kick me in the head...
Of course, we all want the best for Gerrit. To be precise, he deserves a Cy Young trophy. Tonight, let's hope he throws seven shutout innings, then we get smoked by the Railrider bullpen, featuring names we never heard before. Nothing shall be gained by beating hateful Toronto, aside from the chance to smirk at Vladimir "I'll never be a Yankee" Guerrero, who - spoiler alert: will be a Yankee at age 39, when he cannot run and has the revelation: You made a first-class fool out of me, but I'm as blind as a fool can be... I can't wait.
Meanwhile, there is the draft lottery. Insert sigh here. Next July, the first six picks will distributed through a bizarre, weighted lottery system that looks like it was drawn up by Sam Bankman-Fried. It covers all non-playoff teams except Washington, because they snuck in last year. (Like I say, it's complicated.) Under the current standings, the Yankees have a 0.62 percent shot at a lottery pick - a smidgen's chance in hell. But if they, say, just happened to lose their last 10? I mean, what a shame that would be! Lose after loss? Why, it would be terrible! Awful! How would we survive?
And their lottery odds would double.
Yeah, I realize it doesn't matter: Damon "The Dumb One" Oppenheimer will only draft the wrong Bichette, or some guy having TJ surgery, or Cito Culver's cousin. But as they say in the lottery business, "You can't win if you don't play."
Which brings me to Michael King - the real Michael K - who last night cemented his slot in the 2024 Grapefruit League rotation. He could be next year's Nasty Nestor - a sorta homegrown starter who becomes our best hope after Gerrit. (And I mean this sincerely: Screw you, Carlos Rodon.) Last night, King threw a whopping 101 pitches, throwing seven innings, giving up one run and striking out 13. He kept the hapless ones in a game they eventually would lose by a score of 6-1.
King has now thrown 94 innings this season, nearly twice the most in any of his five years in the majors. He'll turn 29 next May. Frankly, I've seen enough. The Yankees should shut him down, encase him in bubble wrap and tell him to report Feb 15 with a mitt and jar of Tylenol. He should not throw another pitch in 2023.
People, these are bullets being wasted.
Before last night, King had never thrown 100 pitches in his MLB career. (His previous high was 87, last week against Boston. Before that, his highs were 79, 69, and 61, all in succession over the last three weeks.) What's the point in having him try to beat 101? Especially when the bullpen is comprised of Scrantonians.
There is no point in having him take the mound again this season, unless we're secretly hoping for a comebacker to break a finger, or to have him clutch his arm and walk off the mound. Last year, that's what happened, and it turned out he had broken his elbow. Let me repeat that. Broken. His. Elbow.
Over these last 10 days, Starr Insurance does not need to pay out on another injury, especially for a guy they'll desperately need next year. Apparently, these games matter so little that we're playing a DH who bats .188 and cannot run to first. Why should we feign interest in Yankee outcomes? I know I keep you amused, but I feel I'm bein' used...
I was always in favor of King being our closer, as opposed to Holmes. But this is even better. As long as he doesn't break, snap, twist, chip, pull, hyperextend or fall down.
ReplyDeleteKing is what we've been sitting on while Cashman was out acquiring Montas and Rodon. More genius from The Genius.
If King & Clarke were in a different organization they would thrive, but with these losers who know what will happen to them. They’ll probably start at Scranton next year because the lead Moron will sign Kluber, Paxton and Rich Hill.
ReplyDeleteReluctantly, I endorse this recommendation.
ReplyDeleteWhat dud they used to say in Brooklyn? “Wait’ll Next Year!” ?
I was secretly hoping that BOOOOONE would have finally and fatally lost his marbles last night during his latest ejaction.
ReplyDeleteYou know, gone all Mike Tyson Zombie on Lance Barrett, turning home plate into a Holyfield blue plate . . . special.
This is why umpires calling balls and strikes for the Starr Insurance Cashbins these days carry fully charged tasers hidden in the chest protectors. To ZZZAP BOOOOONE when leaps onto them catcher-style and tries to eat their faces off.
Guess we’ll just have to wait another day for that highlight moment.
BRAAAAAAAAains!
That would be very sophisticated tanking. Our Boys/Aging Men do not have it in them.
ReplyDeleteTank tank tank tank. Tank.
Again, I must sadly report the following
ReplyDeletePer MLB.COM
“Clubs that are $40 million or more above the threshold shall have their highest selection in the next Rule 4 Draft moved back 10 places unless the pick falls in the top six. In that case, the team will have its second-highest selection moved back 10 places instead.”
Based on MLB rules and our total AAV, our current draft position is 25th. It does seem that we would still be able to qualify for the top pick lottery, with less than a 1% chance. The text does not address the conundrum of a team with such a high AAV salary actually missing the playoffs; apparently the Lords of Baseball couldn’t conceive of such spectacular failures as the Yankees and Mets. Another astounding deficiency in the collapse of the teams house of cards. To put it simply so that Yankee ownership can understand, you can’t simply buy the pennant. Or even the newly expanded, watered down version of the playoffs.
We don't get to pick until the pickings are picked over. Even if we tanked.
ReplyDeleteNot that it really matters. Cashman and his ace staff would choose a complete bust, even if they went first in the first round.
The incompetence has layers of negative effects.
Still, as BTR triple-niner sadly pointed out above - it doesn't look like our Starr Squad is going to greatly improve any time soon.
ReplyDeleteBut now is the best time for some draconian moves.
BOOOOONE is one of the Flaccid Faces of Failure© for this team (surely the most public one) and needs to be let go.
Who we replace him with is less important at this moment. Whether his excision takes place prior to the end of the season (which I would prefer and would show some faux showbiz balls and help set the stage that more change is coming) or immediately afterwards, BOOOOOOONE must go.
In addition to the manager, it would be great if Cashman was replaced by someone else for the GM role. Not going to happen -BUT if it were possible to reassign him into "another position" within the organization, (I'm thinking on his hands and knees) then perhaps some fresh blood might help rebuild this team into a contender again over the next three to four years.
Let Cole get the additional starts needed to try to snag the Cy Young then trade him for a package of great younger players OR make him our player/manager. Do something radical. Shake and Bake this team.
Clarke and King make Stanton look like Gehrig. Beware the Ides of March!
ReplyDeleteStill think King should be the closer.
ReplyDeleteBut don't worry about the draft. This isn't the NBA, and one, first-round pick will not make or break this team. As JM points out, Cashie and crew will pick a bad one no matter where we are. And a good front office will have a good draft no matter how low down they start.
@ AA, Good ideas! Boone has definitely got to go. This same crappy team would've actually won another six games by now if Alex Cora or Kevin Cash managed. We'd probably fall short of the wild card by a couple of games in the end, but it would've been much closer.
ReplyDeleteNot a bad idea to think about trading Cole. He is overweight and was huffing and puffing through this year, a six inning pitcher. Next year, the Yankees will probably be as bad as or worse than this year. So maybe trade him at the deadline next year. Whenever they can get the best return for him. I'm sure he'll waive his no-trade clause to go to a big time contender. Should prepare for 2025, 2026.
@ Hoss, "a good front office will have a good draft no matter how low down they start"
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, low draft position should not be a killer. Most of the high draft picks will be total BUSTS. That we all know for sure.
And good organizations have good coaching that brings out the best in the players quickly. And a good front office moves them up quickly and then makes decisions and makes good trades. That's what the Tampons and ASS-stros do, right?
The clowns who make decisions for the Yankees, put him in the bullpen.
ReplyDeleteYou got it, Hammer.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I wouldn't mind trading Flouncy Cole, especially since the Yanks won't be close to winning anything by next summer.
But...expected Cashman to offer him the moon instead, in the form of a ridiculous extension.
Indeed, Hammer.
ReplyDeleteI still think that Cole might make a good manager one day but - May lack the motivation at the end of his contract to bother with baseball for a while.
I’d like to see a player/manager again somewhere - it would make for an interesting story to watch. And seeing how Cole chats with and advises the players - he could succeed at it. The man-child volatility could be a problem but then if he’s surrounded by an excellent coaching staff it just might work.
However given this team’s UNWAVERING TANKAGE this season - he might wanna just leave for a solid contender on the verge of greatness. So trade him for a bunch of quality beef.
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ReplyDelete"Hal should tell him it's over. The morning sun, when it's in your face, merely shows your age... "
Of course...
But that don't worry me none, in my eyes you're everything...
CashHat ain't going anywhere
Then Spring will Bloom without Aaron Boone
ReplyDeleteIMHO, the Yankees haven't shown talent in that oh so important part of a baseball organization. Talent in the scouting dept. For twenty-five years! Is this part of a strategy of saving money on scouts so that more can be spent on free agents? Hell, this really goes back to 1982 when the Bombers became the Go-Go Yankees. That smell has been in my nose for the past forty years now.
ReplyDeleteI've thought the same thing, Kevin! Because they save money in places where they shouldn't. They play with short rosters for weeks at a time, perhaps so they don't have to pay major league minimum to a kid up from the minors. They hire inexperienced coaches. They hired an inexperienced manager. Why wouldn't they hire inexperienced scouts? I don't know if that's what they are doing, but I wouldn't be surprised.
ReplyDelete