Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Mr. Steinbrenner, take a hard glimpse into your future

 

Not many bodies out there yesterday. The announced crowd was 41,096 - yep - and I'm the Easter Bunny.

Of course, your Yankees can spin this photo. After all, this was a makeup game. It was supposed to be played Saturday. It was supposed to feature an Aaron Judge Bobblehead. It was supposed to be a team that would play in the postseason.

You can make this look less dire. It was a rainy day. Covid is surging. The writers' strike was over. Taylor Swift has a boyfriend. Who goes to a game when Tay is hooking-up? 

Mr. Steinbrenner, this is your day, your crowd, your legacy. 

You sold ad space on the Yankee jersey. 

You squandered career years, back to back, by Aaron Judge and Gerrit Cole. 

Your team couldn't stay in contention through the final homestand.

Your farm system is sputtering, and you're so paralyzed by bad contracts - bad decisions - that you'll hire a firm to do a "winter audit" of the Yankees. 

WTF? A "winter audit?" Are you kidding? You think somebody's stealing nickel bottle deposits? Will you cut laundry costs? Paper clips? 

Here's an audit: You came in fucking fourth in the AL East. You might finish above .500. To sell tickets in September, you rushed your best prospect to the majors, and now he's hurt. 

Take a long hard look at this photo. You think you're invulnerable, that the Yankee brand can never crumble, that you can sit down in Tampa, owning a piece of New York City that can never be diminished. 

Well, this is your doing. This is how it ended. This is your 2023 Yankees.

47 comments:

  1. Spot on Duque!

    Let’s await and see what actions are coming. Let’s see if he has the guts to assert himself and make the necessary changes. I fully expect Cashman and Boone and the F/O follicles to be back, along with the bulk of the aging, slowing players.

    If the food’s rotten, why rehire the chefs. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

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  2. Everything is awesome

    Everything is cool when you're part of a team

    Everything is awesome

    When you're living out a dream

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  3. AA - took my daughter to see that movie at the local Bijou when it first came out. It was creative, have to give them that. Annoying as hell though.

    Opening Day 2024:

    DJL
    Judge
    Rizzo
    Big G(ust)
    Torres
    Bauers/McKinney
    Volpe
    Trevino/Higashioka
    Cabrera

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  4. If life seems jolly rotten
    There's something you've forgotten
    And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
    When you're feeling in the dumps
    Don't be silly, chumps
    Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing

    For life is quite absurd
    And death's the final word
    You must always face the curtain with a bow
    Forget about your sin
    Give the audience a grin
    Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow

    So always look on the bright side of death

    Just before you draw your terminal breath

    Life's a piece of shit (Oooh)
    When you look at it
    Life's a laugh and death's the joke, it's true (Oooh)
    You'll see it's all a show (Oooh)
    Keep 'em laughin' as you go
    Just remember that the last laugh is on you (Oooh)

    Always look on the bright side of life

    Always look on the right side of life


    Fuck you, HAL. Do the right thing. Fire Ca$hole.

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  5. Yesterday, Big Head was opining on how Red Barber was fired for insisting that they show the empty stands.

    Duque, good thing you're not on the Yankee payroll. Then again, you would have been fired a long time ago.

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  6. This is the 80's all over again. No plan, no strategy just spend $$$ and trade prospects for aging stars when the natives get restless. The only difference is the old man did want to win.

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  7. TUESDAY PYTHON SONG OFF:

    Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
    Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong
    It's swell to have a stiffy
    It's divine to own a dick
    From the tiniest little tadger
    To the world's biggest prick
    So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
    Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
    Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
    Your Percy, or your cock
    You can wrap it up in ribbons
    You can slip it in your sock
    But don't take it out in public
    Or they will stick you in the dark
    And you won't come back

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  8. Bravely bold Sir Robin rode off to Camelot! AA, I can do that entire song from memory.

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  9. I’m reminded how many “you knows” Boone uses per minute when he’s on camera during the pre and post game pressers.

    He averages 2-3 every ten seconds or 12-15 per minute.

    That alone, you know, should be grounds for a swift dismissal.

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  10. You know, that's one of those tics that, you know, people use to stall, because, you know, they don't know what to, you know, say.

    Though with Boone, who knows. He says the same thing over and over and over, and he's usually wrong or lying or being an idiot.

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  11. "He ran away, he chickened out..."

    @AA...I disagree...you will not find a better Yankees Press Secretary than...you know...Aaron Boone...

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  12. I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.
    I sleep all night and work all day...

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  13. Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
    who was very rarely stable.
    Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
    who could think you under the table.
    David Hume could out consume
    Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,
    And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
    who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

    There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
    'bout the raisin' of the wrist.
    Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

    John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
    after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
    Plato, they say, could stick it away,
    'alf a crate of whiskey every day!
    Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
    and Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
    And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am!"


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9SqQNgDrgg


    Socrates himself will be particularly missed, and Fuck Hal

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  14. Yankees BS, served hot on a plate and Clueless Hal buys it. Bring back Genius Cashman for more stiffs like Jake Bauers.

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  15. Hal will only be interested in the 40,000 tickets that were sold for yesterday's game he does not care no bugger turned up

    He also said he does not understand why the Yankees fans were upset at the trade deadline

    A bigger bum than two arses

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  16. one last time:

    There are Jews in the world - there are Buddhists
    There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
    There are those that follow Mohammed, but
    I've never been one of them

    I'm a Roman Catholic
    And have been since before I was born
    And the one thing they say about Catholics is
    They'll take you as soon as you're warm

    You don't have to be a six-footer
    You don't have to have a great brain
    You don't have to have any clothes on you're
    A Catholic the moment Dad came

    Because every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is great
    If a sperm is wasted
    God gets quite irate

    Let the heathen spill theirs
    On the dusty ground
    God shall make them pay for
    Each sperm that can't be found

    Every sperm is wanted
    Every sperm is good
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighborhood

    Hindu, Taoist, Mormon
    Spill theirs just anywhere
    But God loves those who treat their
    Semen with more care

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is great
    If a sperm is wasted
    God get quite irate

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is good
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighborhood

    Every sperm is useful
    Every sperm is fine
    God needs everybody's
    Mine and mine and mine

    Let the pagan spill theirs
    Over mountain, hill, and plain
    God shall strike them down for
    Each sperm that's spilt in vain

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is good
    Every sperm is needed
    In your neighborhood

    Every sperm is sacred
    Every sperm is great
    If a sperm is wasted
    God gets quite irate

    ReplyDelete
  17. That is a great pic, Duque. But I have to agree with Scottish Yankee fan that HAL won't give a flying rat's ass about anything except the 40,000 tickets sold. Especially the expensive corporate booths and the highest priced seats. As long as those sold, HAL won't care if some of the cheap seats didn't sell.

    But is the pic a window into the future? Will all of the seats really be barren next year? I don't know. There is a very large contingent of clueless Yankee fans out there who think that Cashman has done an excellent job during his tenure. Those might continue to fill the seats for some time yet.

    And of course the idea of HAL bringing in an outside firm to do an "audit". I am laughing my ass off. This is what rich corporate asses do. They pay money to an outside company to come in and look under the rugs, re-arrange the furniture, tell them how to clean the toilet. How much money is that going to cost? Probably somewhere around $25 million. I think HAL made too much money this year and needs to burn off some of the fat. He's already starting to prepare for tax season.

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  18. I just finished reading all your comments.

    Have you all been drinking this morning?

    ReplyDelete
  19. I enjoyed his appearance in the outer limits:

    http://watershade.net/films/Outer-Limits-1-05-Sixth-Finger.html

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  20. Dick,

    We drink every morning. And evening.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Brooks Robinson. Kind of a great player there.

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  22. No man is an island,
    Entire of itself.
    Each is a piece of the continent,
    A part of the main.
    If a clod be washed away by the sea,
    Europe is the less.
    As well as if a promontory were.
    As well as if a manor of thine own
    Or of thine friend's were.
    Each man's death diminishes me,
    For I am involved in mankind.
    Therefore, send not to know
    For whom the bell tolls,
    It tolls for thee.

    ~ Johnny Donne (MVP of the AA Peoria Poets in 1931)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Sit on My Face (Monty Python)

    Sit on my face and tell me that you love me
    I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too
    I love to hear you oralize
    When I'm between your thighs
    You blow me away
    Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you
    I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly
    Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine
    If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places
    And play, 'til we're blown away

    ReplyDelete
  24. No hit through 3. How many games can you win putting zero pressure on your opponent for a third of a game?

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  25. No hit through 5. Unwavering passivity. Hit strikes hardly.

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  26. Hey, a base hit.

    The Yankees must have set some sort of record this year for going at least 5 innings without a hit. It seemed like someone took a no-hitter into the sixth against us every couple weeks.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Florial gets the hit?

    The veterans should be embarrassed. Throw two curveb-alls and a slider and Florial strikes out.

    Sadly, the Master is not on radio.

    I fear (yes, once again) that we have heard the last of him calling the games.

    On a sittin' shiva note. Did the Tigers intentionally introduce a Greenberg as GM on Yom Kippur? I mean, the guy with the same last name as Hank?

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  28. Glass man also doesn't know how to slide.

    Shocked, I tell you! I'm shocked!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Rufus,

    I turn the game on. 0-0 seventh inning. Yankees have 2nd and 3rd one out. but the guy on 3rd is Stanton. I say out loud... pinch run for Stanton because he can't score from third on a fly ball or a slow grounder.

    Boone doesn't make the change. Ground ball. Stanton out at the plate. When people ask me why I think Boone sucks as a manager one only has to look at what I just wrote.

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  30. Smart Man this Doug. Spot on analysis. If CantRun slid into home plate his entire skeletal system would be rendered into dust.

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  31. The yankers don't even know how to tank.

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  32. Finally found out…

    Austin Wells: All’s well that ends well!

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  33. OK,

    Hoss for GM,

    Doug for Second GM.

    Let them fight out the details. But whatever happens will be an improvement.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Ranger,

    So Wells is all in on the happy ending?

    Doris will call him.

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  35. What a great thread! I've GOT to make it up there for the Game next year!

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  36. I would be a terrific GM, in that I would hire Doug and the rest of you guys, and sit back and let you do it all. Which is all Cashman ever had to do but no, he had to constantly claim that he was the genius.

    What a putz.

    ReplyDelete
  37. AA,

    Obsviously, unwaveringly, you will be the PR flack, whilst conveying actual thruethy facts. You know, how things actually are, unlike how the current bloviators.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Whilst unwaveringly ruminating I was thinking that perhaps the word perhaps ought to be used more often whilst ruminating unwaveringly on this site.

    If that sounds like it was barfed out of the PR wing of the department of redundancy department, remember that I collected a check from the federal gub-mint for several years. It's not just a career, it's a job.

    ReplyDelete

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