Wednesday, October 18, 2023

On the Internet, it looks rather easy to trade for Juan Soto. It won't be

The internet - or at least ex-GM Jim Bowden, who now grinds grist for The Athletic - thinks the Death Barge can obtain Juan Soto by trading a package of Michael King, Jhonny Brito, Everson Pereira and Oswald Peraza. Yeah, right. And I'm the Easter Bunny. 

Soto, who'll turn 25 next Wednesday, is a generational star who bats LH, hits for power and average, draws the most walks in baseball, and seems to have played through his diva phase in San Diego. From here, he looks like the next Miguel Cabrera or Bryce Harper, and even on a one-year-rental - (he's a free agent in 2025) - the Paddies won't trade him without demanding at least one emerging star in return. 

That doesn't describe King, Brito, Pereira and Peraza - all functioning lug nuts. (King, sadly, due to his injury history.) To cut that deal, Cooperstown Cashman would throw in his mother's pacemaker. But the concept is a mirage. It's a joke. No,  worse - it's the modern, purest, highest, felony-grade form of crapola.  

It's clickbait. 

Yep, and here I go, swallowing whole. This is an offseason parlor game we play to torture ourselves, when the world has turned to shit. We tell ourselves that Juan Soto could be had without surrendering a pint of blood, when the actual price tag will be measured in kegs. In a heartbeat, Boston would beat that offer. In two, so would the Mets. If you think the Yankees can get Soto without giving up Anthony Volpe and/or The Martian, you've missed the last two years of Cashman's trade follies, which remain an ongoing disaster.

What's most hilarious about Bowden's blather - (and face it, he won: he got my click) - is the 1990s notion that the Yankees, or any of the tomato cans on his Soto Go-to shit list - can trade their way out of mediocrity. To be blunt, Cashman's trades have ruined this franchise. If he hibernated the last two years - (we'd have had to endure without Willie Calhoun, Franchy Cordero, Jake Bauers and Billy McKinney) - who knows? We might now be playing in the postseason.

And then there is Prince Hal. The only thing Hal Steinbrenner brings to the trade table is an enormous, unfathomable avalanche of money - more that he can spend in a dozen lifetimes. He is not savvied. He is not cagey. He is simply unbelievably, obscenely, ridiculously rich. Improving the Yankees will require him to dig deeper into his precious fanny pack and spend some of that Starr Insurance gold on foreign players - oh, those smug, ungrateful employees - rather than beachfront property. 

Sorry to be a Debby Downer here. But trading for Soto won't be painless. And it pisses me off when they make the Yankee situation look less dire. This is an institutional crisis, not fun time swapping Topps cards. 

13 comments:

  1. As Abraham Lincoln said, “Don’t believe everything you see on the internet!”

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  2. Why should Hal care about anything? He's making money already. If he has to shuffle a few chairs around on the deck of the Death Barge for PR purposes, he can do that. Won't mean anything, but he can do it.

    For a guy who is money-oriented, though, you have to wonder how he can hold onto Cashman--who spends tons and tons of Hal's money on one disappointment after another. If I was Hal, I'd be pissed off at that. But then, I'm not Hal. The inner workings of his strange, warped mind are a mystery to me.

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  3. Yeah, there’s no way that package gets Soto, that’s way less than they gave up to get him. Even as a rental they’ll get more. The Mets can crush that for fuck’s sake.

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  4. Kim Ng's opinion is what matters here...

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  5. So you are saying we will never hear...

    "Oh! Another Soto pop!"
    or
    "Oh Soto mio!
    or
    "Soto goes solo!" (because there won't be anyone on base.)

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  6. Even if The Intern were able to pull that off, one of two things would happen:

    In his first game in pinstripes, he'd crash into a wall and be lost for a year or two, thereby turning into Albert Bell, or...

    The rest of the team would be so bad that even an MVP year wouldn't save this franchise from heading into a long, dark, cold winter. A Jon Snow kind of winter.

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  7. "The inner workings of his strange, warped mind are a mystery to me."

    JM, I am quite familiar, being that way. However, HAL still baffles me.

    Duque, You've been the Easter Bunny quite a lot lately. Have you noticed a little more jump in your step?

    And the interwebs can be a festering pool of lies. Yet we read them. We have met the enemy, and he is us.

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  8. I would throw in Volpe to get Soto, if that would do it. If Volpe goes, then Peraza would have to stay to play SS.

    I would NOT trade The Martian or Austin Wells. Those two would be untouchables. Just about anyone else not named Judge or Cole would be fair game.

    If it cannot be done, then I suggest going to Plan B: Bring up Spencer Jones and try to force his development. Bring him up by July 1, 2024 at the latest. Wait for the new bats to develop in 2024 and 2025. Meanwhile, sign Yamamoto and trade for another young starting pitcher this winter. Bring in a much better pitching coach. These are all eminently do-able.

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  9. I believe it will be painful for all of us. But, clearly, we have to trade The Easter Bunny (i.e., El Duque, who admits this is him) for Juan Soto.

    TINA.

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  10. A-fucking-men, Duque!

    Agreed, Hammer! And DickAllen...no, he would NOT run into a wall. He would pop his UCL, trying to perform the new swing the Yankees crack(ed) coaching staff taught him.

    JM, why should he care? Because any and every human being worth his salt should try to do well the task he has at hand, and make something beautiful. I know you know that. The shame is that HAL does not.

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  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. @ Doctor T, Is all that for real, that Soto has bad clubhouse chemistry, is selfish, a drama Queen, & PED suspicions? I haven't seen any of that about him, but then again, all I know about Soto is the 2020 World Series and the few times a year that I see him play on t.v. That would Cashman's job, to know all this kind of stuff, and to weigh it before making a decision.

    Giancarlo Stanton supposedly has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I heard someone say that he used to have certain routines in Miami, like walking a certain number of steps from the clubhouse to the weight room, and so forth. Now, I don't know if it is true, but that's what I heard.

    I don't know if Cashman knew this before making that deal to get him. If I had heard about this, I certainly would NEVER had made that deal. Because if it's bad in Miami, that OCD is only going to get a zillion times worse in NYC.

    For anyone who doesn't know, OCD is a type of mental illness. It can be anywhere from mild to severe. It is capable of putting your brain into a loop, where you are paralyzed unless you do something just right, like stepping on certain stairs or avoiding cracks on sidewalks. Checking and re-checking if the door is locked, if the gun is empty, if the stove is turned off. Then having to run and check again one minute later. Being unable to do anything because the idea (whatever it is) is gnawing at the back of your mind.

    In Stanton's case, if he has to walk in a certain way from the clubhouse to the weight room, taking a certain number of steps that he counts, a left here and a right there, I'd say that sounds pretty bad. You take a guy like that and move him out of his natural position and his familiar surroundings, what do you think will happen?

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  13. Hey Hammer, thanks for making me think twice. When I reviewed my comments and the facts, I realized my comments were about Tatis, not Soto. I just pulled my last post down. Apologies to all and Soto.

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