Because here we are, sniffing the usual sites for the dank scent of raw speculation and whispered rumors. Nobody knows nuthin. Frankly, I can't write another dipshit paragraph about Brian Cashman, whose legacy in Cooperstown is now visiting the Farmers' Museum for selfies with the Cardiff Giant. The Gammonites used to talk him up for a future bronze plaque. They don't enshrine GMs who win once in a millennium.
Any day now, the volcanos will blow. It will start with a middling free agent, a Lucas Giolito or a Marcus Stroman - and then, ka-boom, goodbye Iceland. After the first domino topples, time will halt. Contrary to God's plan, everything will happen - all at once. Strap in, everybody. Winter is coming.
In the face of this upcoming scrum, the Death Barge has one weird advantage: The Yankees doesn't need to chase Shohei Ohtani, the biggest free agent prize. Why bother? We won't get him. The Mets, Dodgers and somebody, God-knows-who, will be stuck in the doorway like Mo, Larry and Curly, while the Yankees look elsewhere. We already have a $400 million DH, and it sucks. Why add another?
That said, it will soon be time for the most profitable franchise in American sports to exercise its greatest advantage: Money, cabbage, dough, klabba, zilpnab...
That means signing Yoshinobu Yamamoto, the 25-year-old reincarnation of Masahiro Tanaka.
Add Yamamoto to the rotation, and the Yankees are a contender - maybe not for the division title, but at least for the expanded playoffs.
Remember, when you sign an ace pitcher...
1. He doesn't replace your No. 2. He replaces your worst, your No. 5. In this case, it's Randy Vasquez. Huge leap.
2. He works maybe 200 innings, saving your bullpen. Every part of your pitching staff is positively affected.
3. He gives you a one-two punch - (with Gerrit Cole) - in the postseason, or any three-game series.
4. You keep him from Boston and/or Toronto.
The Yankees need Yamamoto, the most intriguing free agent out there this winter. Soon, it will be time for the franchise to reclaim its name. All it takes is money that Hal will never even miss... and maybe a little humility. The time is almost here.
Must...sign...Yamamoto...must...sign...Yamamoto....must...sign...Yamamoto...
ReplyDeleteNI-a-gara Falls...slowly, I turn...step by step...inch by inch...
Don’t worry, the White sox just announced a fire sale so I’m sure we’ll finally end up with…. Yoan Moncada
ReplyDeleteDuque -
ReplyDeleteJust a quick suggestion for an edit...
"We already have a $400 million DH, and it sucks. "
Replace "it" with "he".
You're welcome.
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I agree. No Othani. They shouldn't even think about it unless they are pretending in order to drive the price up for whoever is dumb enough to give him half a billion dollars to be an over 30 DH who may or may not pitch again or well.
I get it. He's great. Hard pass. Spread the bucks around.
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Jaraxle -
ReplyDeleteHey Yoan Moncada!!!!!!
Karma cleaner!
Plus getting him will lower El Duque's blood pressure. He loses it whenever he sees the name. It's his Niagra Falls. His Susquehanna Hat!
I hope they do it.
YOAN MONCADA! SLOOOOOOOWLY I TURN... STEP BY STEP...
ReplyDeleteSomeone, not so very long ago once achingly asked the question :
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong to want both Yamamoto and Bellinger on the team ?
Many came forward, offering their support and guidance, assuring them that it wasn’t wrong to want these things. They were good things, needed things, unselfish things that ultimately would bring joy and happiness to tens of thousands of other good people across the land.
Then, one person said - - -
If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me, and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together
And everything seemed ok - for now . . .
Elinore, gee I think you're swell
ReplyDeleteAnd you really do me well
You're my pride and enjoy
Et cetera
Is that Turtle(s) Soup I smell cooking?
ReplyDeleteGreat song! And love the line, "whose legacy in Cooperstown is now visiting the Farmers' Museum for selfies with the Cardiff Giant." Hee-hee!
ReplyDeleteCompletely agree on all counts. But we're not getting Yamamoto. Or Soto, or Bellinger. That Post article was our warning shot. We're getting, at best, Gurriel, Jr.. And more likely, just Kevin Kirmaier.
HAL is retrenching, wondering why we should spend all this money, when we can just "re-start" DJ and Stanton, and rely on the world's greatest farm system.
Good luck with that.
And hey, DickAllen, in case you missed it in the last post comments, you got me all wrong about soccer! I'm just pointing out what's best about the game! Check it out, if you feel like it.
ReplyDeleteOhtani was never coming.
ReplyDeleteYamamoto, sure why not.
With apologies to Pink Floyd:
Every year is getting shorter
Never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught
Or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation
Is the YANKEES way
The time is gone, the song is over
Thought I'd something more to say
A great vision, Duque. Howver, as a fly in the ointment, do you really believe Clueless Hal and his Genius will do it? I do not. Sorry!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI can already see this coming. Along about June 9, when this new pitcher goes lame and is out until September 2025, we christen the NYYs as
. . . a Yamamoto can.
Horace, I did see your response, thank you. I replied back to you, but it got lost in space. Just like the space cadets who run the Yankees (into the ground).
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear, DickAllen. Happy to politely debate anything, but I think that, on this, we're actually pretty much in agreement.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI live 50-odd miles from WashDC. We get the WashPost (not my idea).
In today's coverage of the humiliating loss to the NYGiants: The question of how soon the Wash Commodes should fire their coach, Rivera.
From an interview done with him B4 this game, it sounded like he really doesn't care.
This is what losing to the Giants will do to you....
Joe FOB -
ReplyDeleteThe Giants wanted to hire Rivera instead of Joe Judge four years ago. There's an alternate universe for ya.