For one minute, one stinking 60 seconds, put yourself in Hal Steinbrenner's Dr. Dentons. Don his thinking cap and imagine what's going on. Okay, I think we're connecting...
Mmm, wine good, GOOD, haha, must scratch belly, mmm...
Yes, we're interfacing with the Hal Unit No. 1. Here goes...
Do not believe what they're saying. Ugly fans. No fun. Yankees missed playoffs by only seven games. That's less than 10, haha.
No panic. Carlos Rodon will return. That's four extra wins! Aaron Judge will stay healthy. That's five more. Anthony Volpe will improve. Andrew Rizzo, too. Nestor Cortez and DJ, they'll be back. That's 15, 20 extra wins. Make playoffs. From there, who knows, haha. Scratch belly. Mmm.
All talk about money - MY MONEY!- it's awful fans. Constantly carping. Bad breath. Poor hygiene. Can't appease them. Give a nickel, and they want the lake house. No more coddling! No more spending! It doesn't grow on trees, people!
And that's how the '23 Yankees could become the '24 team.
Hal can let the analytics wonks assure him that all is not so bad. He won 82 games without a CF, a LF, a 3B and any depth of pitching. He nearly made the playoffs with an all RH lineup and sluggers past their sell-by dates. Just trade Gleyber Torres for somebody, anybody, and wait for The Martian. That's all.
Just sit back, hold on, do nothing. Beat the luxury tax threshold. He can still win 82, and compete for a spot in the 12-team playoffs.
Whatever Hal does - or doesn't do - the Yankees can stay in the expanded playoff race until Sept. 1. From there, they'll bring up the prospects they've hyped all summer. They can sell hope. There are always believers. They can do nothing and still make money.
What if Hal knows this?
Not sure which is worse, standing pat and hoping for rookie gold or the typical Cashgrab move, sign someone like Blake
ReplyDeletesnell and watch his arm fall off by June.
I tried to do what you asked. I tried to imagine myself as Hal and my first thought was...
ReplyDelete"What do I need this shit for? I have money, I have family... Why do I bother to put myself through this daily scrutiny and criticism. I don't like baseball. I don't like the Yankees. And, I didn't really like my Dad. He was distant and domineering.
Maybe I should just let my nephew run it already. Too bad his dad couldn't keep it in his pants. I'd of been out of here years ago.
Well one or two more years and that's it. He can deal with it. Seems to like baseball...
What should I have for breakfast? French toast sounds good. Maybe I should buy a French soccer team..."
"I'll sign one free agent or Japanese league player and call it a day. That should shut up the hoi polloi for a while.
ReplyDelete"Now where did I leave that penis bong?"
Losses:Bad. Wins:Good!
ReplyDelete"Should I have the foie gras or the caviar? I'll have both!"
ReplyDelete“Halitosis
ReplyDeleteSo atrocious
It’s an awful smell
Sign Blake Snell
Or Yamamoto?
Better way ToGo, oh?
Need more fielders
Who field balls cleaner
And hit them too
OH
What should I do
DAMN
Is that a rash
Bring in my Cash
And also Cash*
Man this is rough
Truly tough
I’ve had enough
Feeling woozy
Time for a
Jacuzzi
He knows, duque….he knows.
ReplyDeleteSorry, just watching the finish of the NYC marathon. Looks like East Africans, Kenyans and Ethiopians, are going to dominate both the men's and women's races. Damn, didn't see that coming.
ReplyDeleteAs for HAL...yeah, I'm with Doug. I don't see why he bothers. He's worth literally billions. Sell the team or turn it over to a relative.
But what I imagine he thinks is the same thing that every inheritance gazillionaire thinks, which is, "They don't understand that this is a business." Nothing will change, not in 2024, not until the Mets become the dominant team in New York.
Hoss, did you see that report a few days ago that a bunch of Kenyans were suspended for doping? Not good. Now it's even in long distance running. How much of it is in baseball? Probably still about 80% of ballplayers are using PEDs.
ReplyDeleteDuque, all kidding aside, I think the lineup is too broken to touch. They should just throw in the kids. Forget bringing in someone like Bellinger. If they don't get rid of Stanton, he has to ride the pines and be a very expensive pinch hitter.
ReplyDeleteFor the pitching, the first thing I'd do is get rid of Matt Blake. Get a real pitching coach. That'd be a good start. Then they can try to outbid everyone for Yamamoto. Then they can realistically hope that Rodon turns it around. If they keep Blake as the coach, why should we expect anything different from Rodon?
The Mets owner put it best at the trade deadline. He said "hope is not a strategy", meaning that he's not just going to sit on his ass and hope that things work out. He's going to do the things that are necessary to win.
Unfortunately, I think that nothing will happen in Yankee Wonderland this winter. They'll keep Matt Blake around and "hope" that things work out. They'll keep Stanton on the roster and "hope" that he turns it around. Like the Rime of the Ancient Mariner, the curse goes on and on and on.
If the Yanks do nothing this winter, I don't think they'll be in the expanded playoff race come Sept. 1. They won't even have The Martian until around August 1, and that's if everything works out and he comes back at full effectiveness. This team is going to be the cellar of the A.L. east for awhile, one of the worst teams in baseball at the All Star Break.
ReplyDeleteI suppose if Matt Blake is still here at the All Star Break and they've completely bombed, Cashman will finally fire Blake at that time, like they did with Dillon Lawson. It'll be too little, too late. They'll never even attain pretender status in 2024.
The Yankees have never LOST him money. They have maybe made less than usual at times, but it's always a profit.
ReplyDeleteAnd do you know what he would do if they ultimately became a serious liability? He'd sell the team at an insane, obscene profit.
Sadly, that will never happen. Nothing more cruel than to sell false hope, Hal.
Meanwhile, I thought the Giants would have a chance against Vegas, but looks like not. Jones is out again with his bum leg. Danny DeVito Q-Bing.
ReplyDeleteGiants make the Yankees look good
ReplyDeleten.b., I am a tortured Raiders fans.
ReplyDeleteThey suck. Badly. They need a new owner (sound familiar?).
But they pounded the Giants?????
My condolences.
The teams aren't meeting in the super bowl any year soon.
In happier news, little Tony wins the gold glove. I guess that increases his trade value. Should be able to get a washed up pitcher needing TJ surgery for him now.
Finally -- Kenyans winning marathons? I'm shocked, SHOCKED I tell you!
And...congratulations to our own Anthony Volpe, winner of the AL Gold Glove Award at SS for 2023. While Volpe had the second most errors of any shortstop in the league, he also had a ton of chances, and ended up with being credited with saving the Yanks 10-17 runs, depending on which "runs saved" stat you're using.
ReplyDeleteTo which I can only say...God bless. Hey, hard to vote against this, when you look at the stats. Among other things, a great many AL teams didn't even have a full-time shortstop this year. And Volpe had a good year in the field. So—congrats!