As the world churns: Yankees claim LH reliever Matt Gage off waivers. Should he even bother to shave his beard?

The great thinker of thinky thoughts, Desiderius Erasmus, once said, "There is no joy in possession without sharing." Clearly, he was referring to the vast engine of human eugenics, the NY Yankees front office, which loves to share roster DNA with the rest of humanity.

Yesterday, proving that no change is too molecular to implement, Brian "Cooperstown" Cashman took the Yankee minutia to the atomic level: The team waived IF Diego Castillo, who joined the franchise last week, and claimed LH pitcher Matt Gage, who might stick with the franchise through next week.

Apparently, somewhere, in some vast, secretive AI rating complex beneath a volcano in Iceland, Cashman's Forbin Project computer calculated Gage's potential contributions to the Yankees at 0.000031 quatlooms, just a widget above Castillo's potential contributions of 0.000032. So the swap was made.

Gage's arrival could come with a caveat: It might mean the Yankees are about to lose out in a bidding skirmish with the Mets over LH reliever Wandy Peralta. If so, after all this winter's churnings of butter, it would be sad to see Yankees refuse to go an extra dollar to keep Peralta, who is NYC-tested and - I don't say this often about Yankees  - adorable.  

But ours is not to reason why. Our mission, as loyal Yankee snapdragons, is to celebrate every new arrival like the birth of a royal hamster. So let's snap to it. Let's gauge Gage. 

Ten Fun Facts about the newest Yankee, Matt Gage:

1. He turns 31 on Feb. 11. (I hope the front office gets him on their birthday list, so he receives an Edible Arrangement.)

2. The Yankees are his sixth ML franchise in nine years. (Giants, Diamondbacks, Mets, Blue Jays, Astros.)

3. Gage was born in Johnstown, just south of Gloversville. 

4. He's a graduate of Broadalbin-Perth High School, and is the only MLB player ever to come out of that esteemed sports program.

5. He attended Siena College in Loudonville, which is somewhere between Albany and Troy.

6. He is 6'3" and 265, so he'll look menacing off the bus.

7. Last year, over five MLB games with Houston, he threw 7 innings, gave up two runs and struck out eight. 

8. Those two runs came off a blast by the Cubs' Seiya Suzuki in a ninth inning mop-up duty, with the Astros holding a six-run lead. Not exactly a save situation. 

9. He has a "team friendly" contract. He's still considered a rookie and won't be eligible for arbitration until 2027. (Assuming he lasts the next two weeks.)

10. He is "projected" to pitch 30 innings this year, give up 13 earned runs and strike out 29. 

And so it goes. Welcome, Matt Gage.