Friday, January 26, 2024

Hall of Congeniality.

 

Sigh. I had hoped never to write another word about Alex Rodriguez, singularly annoying character that he is. A-Rod is like foot fungus: inescapably irritating, annoying, no matter how much you try to ignore him. Sooner or later, you just have to scratch that itch.

Especially when the National Baseball Hall of Fame takes its annual turn in the spotlight.

Let's face it: the Hall is based on a great big, charming lie, and always has been. It is in Cooperstown because that is supposedly where Abner Doubleday laid out the first diamond and defined the rules of the game.

Never mind that Doubleday was best friends for 20 years with the president of the National League and never said, "Hey, you know that sport you run? I invented it."

Instead, Doubleday described his favorite outdoor activity, in his own memoir, as "topographical work." 

In fact, it's too big a lie for even Cooperstown to stomach. You know who's not in the Hall of Fame? Abner Doubleday.

But I digress.

Let's look at this year's selections:

Joe Mauer. Great hitting stats for a Gold-Glove catcher...but how much catching did he do? Throwing out the 2 years in which he played fewer than 100 games, Mauer averaged 71 games behind the plate every year. Throwing out the 5 years that Yogi Berra played fewer than 100 games, he averaged 121 in the tools of ignorance. For a DH-first baseman, which he was for the majority of his career, Mauer just did not hit with enough power, or get on base enough, to be a true HOFer.

Todd Helton. C'mon. Helton played his entire career in Colorado, which makes it all the easier to parse his home and away stats. In Denver, he was a monster, .345/.441/.607/1.048, with 227 home runs. Away from the rarified air of the Rockies, this Rockie was .287/.386/.469/.855, with 143 dingers. More of a Bullwinkle than a Rocky (get it, huh, huh?)

Jim Leyland. Great manager, right? 22 seasons—11 of them winning. All-time winning percentage of .506. All of three pennants and one World Series—with a wild-card team. Hey, got nothing against Leyland...but is this more of an attendance prize than anything else?

Adrian Beltré. Perfectly fine stats. But he does have a classic juicer's profile: a bunch of seasons, usually in a walk year, when he suddenly hit for much higher average and power than ever. 

Which brings us to the other big lie haunting the shrine in Cooperstown. Or rather, sliming the place with juice.

The other story about this year's fab selections was that A-Rod, while still on the ballot, continued to lose votes. Soon, he will be off into the limbo where the HOF currently sticks all juicers...or rather, all juicers they don't like.

The bloom came off the dubious rose that was the HOF's PED policy when Big Papi made the Hall. Ortiz, a known juicer, was in. So have any number of other known juicers been in, over the past few years. Whereas Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens, and Albert Belle, and A-Rod, and even Papi's own teammate, Manny Ramirez...are out.

Don't care about any of those unsavory individuals?  Well, how about this: Jorge Posada is already off the ballot...while known juicers I-Rod and Mike Piazza are in. 

Essentially, selection to the sanctum sanctorum, the ne plus ultra, the Valhalla of the American has been reduced to the Miss Congeniality Contest. Juice, don't juice: if you get along with enough sportswriters, you're in. If you don't...

Time—past time—to stop the nonsense, once and for all. We need a ruling. Either no juicers in the Hall, or juicing doesn't matter. 

19 comments:

  1. Amen.

    I think we should pool our 401(k) plans and open in downtown Cooperstown, across the street from you know what...

    THE PEOPLE'S HALL.

    Our first class of inductees would be

    Pete Rose
    Roger Clemens
    Barry Bonds
    Mark McGwyre
    Rafael Palmeiro
    Alex Rodriguez
    Sammy Sosa
    Roger Maris
    Thurman Munson
    Don Mattingly

    We'l hold the induction ceremonies on the EXACT SAME WEEKEND that the Hall of Fame inducts Leeland, Mauer and Helton. See what happens.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So, in other words, you'd be opening a Spite Hall of Fame. Much like Latte Larry's.

      Delete
  2. I guess it boils down to whether we can determine if they were HOF worthy without the steroids? And if some were suspended, was that their sufficient punishment? Then again, what about what about players who took amphetamines in the ‘60’s and 70’s? Was that OK?

    I don’t pretend to have the answers. Of Duque’s list, the one that cries out for rectification the most to me is Pete Rose. He has lost millions of dollars in post career revenue, had his name sullied forever. I don’t condone players or managers gambling on their own sports for obvious reasons, but Rose has been punished more than enough, and he clearly meets anybody’s standards for on-field achievements. Then again, we live in a society where one can foment a riot designed to overthrow the government and not only escape punishment but receive acclaim and support for it.

    All a matter of degree it seems. As Dylan wrote:
    Steal a little and they throw you in jail/
    Steal a lot and they make you King

    ReplyDelete
  3. Duque,

    You'd have to include Shoeless Joe.

    n.b. Pete Rose usually shows up HOF weekend and signs memorabilia just outside the boys club exclusion zone.

    Met him once on a plane. Hated him as a player, but he was the nicest guy. (And dumb as a post on anything but baseball.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hate to differ with you guys, but I say thumbs down on Pete. And I'm not really sure about the juicers.

    But Pete first: you can't bet on the games. That was rule no. 1 in baseball, and he knew it. Even if he was only betting on his own team to win—as he claimed, amidst his various lies about all of it—who knows if he overused a pitcher, played an injured guy, etc? It distorts the game, and in so distorting it, could have badly hurt a player. Unforgivable. I wouldn't even put in poor Shoeless Joe.

    For the other...I dunno.

    Certainly, if we are going to let juicers in, we have to talk about guys who had outstanding—but not quite HOF—careers playing AGAINST juicers. In other words, people like Bernie and Jorge. And then what about people such as Bonds and Clements, who were HOF level BEFORE they juiced.

    I can see all sides on this debate. But we should have it. The only WRONG answer is the one we have now, which is, "Being nice gets you in."

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good picture of A-Rod hanging out in Miami

    https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/1220a69c-fa91-4ed7-be66-dd77caa656d0_1.89f5c45fab1c4b552ae19a4d88b2616d.jpeg?odnWidth=1000&odnHeight=1000&odnBg=ffffff

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  6. Duque -

    Those guys should do a made for TV "Hall of Fame Skills Challenge" to take the place of any Hall of Famer elected in their years of eligibility.

    For example: A Home Run Derby with A Rod vs. Big Papi. A-Rod wins he gets Papi's spot.

    ReplyDelete

  7. Who gives a shit about the Hall of Fame? Who really cares besides the players themselves (except the dead ones), their families, friends, old guys who were BIG FANS! back in the day? Anyone else? It's been horseshit since I've been alive. I hear next year's ballot has ABBA and Rick Astley on it but I don't know that for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  8. People forget, but together ABBA formed one of the best infields ever assembled.

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  9. Mildred, I think you need a visit from the commissar. You're getting dangerously close to saying why should anyone care at all about a game owned by larcenous billionaire idiots and played by drugged-up, wife-beating millionaires.

    As for the Hall, well, it's never been above reproach. I mean, they inducted Rabbit Maranville in 1954. I love the guy, but it would've been like putting in the aforementioned Chase Headley, long may he wave.

    The Hall is there primarily as One More Thing for Us to Argue About. Which, after all, is the main reason they exist. That, and beer.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Gary Sheffield, in an interview on why he's not in the hall, just said, "I just want what's due to me" or something like that.

    To which I concur with Mildred - FUCK THE HALL, I don't give a shit about the Hall and I'm starting to think of baseball as a bunch of rich guys with polo ponies, except the ponies are named Stanton and Judge and Soto...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Funny thing about Beltre', it wasn't until his career was nearing the end that he was talked about as a HOFer. NOBODY talked about him being a great player in his early-mid career years.

    ReplyDelete
  12. And hey, sometimes HOFers are career guys. They just last long enough and do well enough. But with Beltre...it SEEMS like he lasted that long by being a juicer.

    This may be unfair. But...

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  13. Put the juicers and cheaters in. Post-mortem.

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  14. I like that idea, Publius! And maybe in their own, separate wing.

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  15. I confess that I loved Beltré. Partly because I lived in Seattle when he played there, and partly because he played 3B excitingly. Which has been practically unheard-of in the Bronx of the 21st century. A-Rod coud make plays, but they never struck me as particularly thrilling. Plus: Mike Lowell. So, I loved Beltré.

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  16. Anita Bryant is being kept out of the Hall because she was a juicer. There is no justice.

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  17. Yeah, Stang, it's true: Mike Lowell was a big loss. It was one of The Brain's first deals and one of his worst, setting off the whole chain of events that led to A-Rod.

    And, sigh, I have to defend A-Rod again! He was really a very good third baseman. I was in the Stadium the night when Jeter went into the stands. As always happened with A-Rod's luck, Jeets' incredible play made everybody forget the play Rodriguez had made a couple innings earlier when, with the bases loaded, he made a great, diving grab of a hard grounder down the line, stepped on third, then made a magnificent throw around the lead runner to nail him at the plate.

    It was one of the best plays I've ever seen on a ballfield...and no one remembers!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yep, I forgot that one. I guess there was so much negativity and weird ego wrapped up in him that it drowned out the good stuff. The great stuff.

    ReplyDelete

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