The Yankees have the 4th worst spring training record in baseball!
Their pitching staff has given up 52 runs in the last six games - an average of slightly more than 8!
Their best pitcher won't even touch a ball for at least four weeks. And their best hitter has mystery pains!
Yesterday, their two top pitching prospects gave up 9 runs!
Their lineup featured four batters hitting .200 or less!
Even the team's cultural footprint is shrinking: No Yankees have a) dated a pop star, b) appeared with Joe Rogan, c) hosted SNL or d) been mentioned as Robert Kennedy Jr.'s VP.
Yes, it's a pissing match shit show train wreck on a three-ring circus dumpster fire in a hot mess clown car, warts and all.
I know what you're thinking: I'm exaggerating, again. The '24 regular season is nine days off, and the prideful power of our shaven Yankee stallions has yet to be tasted in a meaningful mouthful. Let's not stress the warts. One week from today, nobody will give a hoot about the Death Barge's Grapefruit League record.
Okay, yeah, but listen... something here isn't right. Do you feel it, too?
When you look at these Yankees, you see:
1. A team clearly lacking in pitchers.
2. An aging lineup ripe for injuries.
3. A farm system depleted by trades.
4. A propaganda machine that overhypes everything.
5. A front office without a plan.
6. An owner in complete denial about the above.
Are we really expecting to win the AL East by a flurry of 10-9 scores? Are we really going to let Blake Snell and/or Jordan Montgomery sign with our rivals? Is all of this pure nonsense... or are we getting a glimpse of what is to come?
OK, but other than that things are pretty good!
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And here we are, days away from another nightmare of a season with no Reasons to be Cheerful Part Infinity,,, URRGGG!
ReplyDeleteSpencer Jones. If Ja'ss'on comes back undiminished, those two will make for quite an outfield. Next year, maybe.
ReplyDeleteThis year, Everson Pariah was sent down. Warren got killed (only two runs were earned), then came back into the game and did very nicely. That nice Polish kid got sent down. He'll be back; it's a long season.
This year looks like it won't suck but also won't be a winfest. It's the mediocre years that are killers for me. If we're really good, I have fun. If we're really bad--like, 100 losses bad--it's a kind of perversely good time. In between is just boring.
One week to go.
el duque...you are giving credence to exhibition games. John would give you a tongue lashing for that...
ReplyDeleteYou can't predict Sterling.
ReplyDeleteJM, if the team ever did collapse and lose 100 games, the posts and rants here would be EPIC! I have to agree with you, nothing is worse than mediocrity, especially mediocrity without hope.
ReplyDeleteFirst few months of the season:
ReplyDeleteJudge misses a week or so with a "sore core" - production is down and his toe is jealous of all the attention.
Cole is out until at least the middle of June
Soto is unofficially DTD after he tweaks his wrist on a swing - week three of the season
Nestor tweaks his groin during his third start (although honestly - it happened during his second) and goes on the IL
Gleyber pulls his hammy running out a ground ball to first in early April - goes on the IL
DJL avoids the IL but continues to struggle
Stanton impresses . . . no one - but avoids the IL
RizzO rakes but worries many as his sits in the dugout chatting with a hand puppet of a pig he calls PizzO. PizzO wears a Chicago Cubs uniform.
Boone begins to noticeably slur his speech during post game sessions/interviews endearing him to the press and fans alike. David Cone catches heat when he says during a broadcast that Boone is hearing BooooZ from the crowd. Cone denies he used a Z.
Another way to look at it, The Genius and Boone would have been long gone and a guy like Sabian running the show.
ReplyDeleteGenius, Duque!
ReplyDelete"...it's a pissing match shit show train wreck on a three-ring circus dumpster fire in a hot mess clown car, warts and all" ranks right up there with the introductions to Colbert's "Meanwhile" segments.
ebd raises a good question...Are Sabean and Minaya still collecting checks?
ReplyDeletePublius:
ReplyDeleteAccording to official sources:
Brian Sabean is still the Executive Advisor to the General Manager on your 2024 New York Yankees, and
Omar Minaya is the Senior Advisor, Baseball Operations
So my best guess is that means that Sabean is around to coddle and stroke the MIGHTY CASH'S balloon thin, overly inflated ego and Minaya is there to oversee the surgeries . . .
Apparently, Joe Torre is around too. Lots of oversight for Cash and Boonie.
ReplyDeleteIf those guys are advising, who’s listening?
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