Play all your best hitters (in this case, except for Anthony Volpe).
Have Juan Soto hit another HR.
Score nine runs.
Bang out 17 hits.
Use six pitchers.
Hold on for dear life.
On the hitting side, almost everything worked, even Oswaldo Cabrera, who went 3-3, lifting his spring average to .154. (Not to mention Jose Trevino, who homered in his first at-bats of the spring, and even Giancarlo, with two hits.)
Opening Day is two and a half weeks away. Right now, the main unresolved issues involve the final bullpen mop-up arms and the roster's 26th man, the utility lug nut. Overall, the Yankees are sitting cozy and warm.
And, gulp, do we dare mention why?
Editors Note: Before continuing, consider this disclaimer. The following contains implied reverse juju that some readers may consider objectionable, if not completely asinine. Nor does it necessarily project the views and opinions of this website. It should not be read aloud in the presence of children. Nor should it be printed out from its normal ether form.
Okay, I assume you're reading, disregarding your better instincts?
I'm serious: Maybe you should turn back. You won't like what's coming.
Okay, here goes...
The Yankees have not suffered any major injuries this spring.
Aside from Oswald Peraza - a tough loss, especially for Peraza - everybody appears to be healthy. The worst, apparently Tommy Kahnle, might not even keep him from missing opening day.
Basically, we can dismiss the losing record. Not one our starting players is hurt.
There. I've said it. God help us.
E.D.
ReplyDeleteI just read the above post.
Now I’m hiding under the bed.
(thankfully I grabbed my coffee first)
I have never felt this kind of fear before.
That “Duck and Cover” crap has nothing on this.
Is that rain I hear above or the sound of Yankee pitcher’s arms falling on the roof?
Fear is the Roster Killer.
Fear . . .
Rondon will start the year on the DL
ReplyDeleteIf we're lucky, Rodon will remain on the DL.
ReplyDeleteWhen did Rodon get OFF the DL?
ReplyDeleteRodon was at the Oscars last night celebrating his buddy Godzilla's win for best SFX.
ReplyDeletePerhaps AI can help the Yankees pitching staff.
Say, anybody seen Jonathan Loáisiga? ‘cause I sure as hell haven’t
ReplyDeleteLike the man said: there’s two weeks left to go in spring training.
ReplyDeletePlenty of time now that you’ve poked the bear.
Dammit, Duque! Cole is headed for an MRI on his elbow.
ReplyDeleteAnd there you have it.
ReplyDeleteNew York Yankees ace Gerrit Cole will have an MRI on his right elbow, manager Aaron Boone told reporters Monday.
Cole, the reigning American League Cy Young Award winner, has had difficulty bouncing back between spring training starts, Boone said.
You just had to go and say it, didn't you?
The gods are listening, and this optimism (however guarded) has got to stop!
"Gerrit Cole getting MRI on elbow in dire Yankees injury concern"
ReplyDeletehttps://nypost.com/2024/03/11/sports/gerrit-cole-getting-mri-on-elbow-in-dire-yankees-injury-concern/
Duque, you’ve done it again.
ReplyDeleteJudge being shut down due to a “sore core”, whatever the fuck that is.
Sometimes the sky really is falling.
This year could be like the old days. A Sox/Yankees battle, except for last place
ReplyDeleteIn other news, Soto has decapitated himself in a bizarre shaving incident.
ReplyDeleteBoone expressed confidence he would be ready for opening day, saying his head “looked good”
May I come out from under my bed yet?
ReplyDeleteThere are no more falling limbs sounds bouncing off my ceiling . . . .
Duque -
ReplyDeleteClearly, and I mean this, you have a power and a connection with the juju gods that is awe inspiring. I though the Ryan McBroom stuff was impressive but having Cole go down within minutes, no, make that, seconds after hitting publish, is nothing short of legendary.
Perhaps you can use this superpower to help us.
I would humbly suggest that you make predictions along the line of "Altuve is a lock for MVP!" or "The Orioles look like they will easily win 100 games and take the division" or "Boston doesn't suck!"
Cole undergoing MRI on his right elbow, so much for a healthy staff
ReplyDeleteIt's not my fault. I WARNED YOU NOT TO READ THAT PART.
ReplyDeleteBut I couldn't resist!! Does Snell become a realistic option if the news isn't good?
ReplyDeleteYeah, you're not fooling anyone. That disclaimer was seen by the juju gods (and everyone else).
ReplyDeleteThis optimism has got to stop. I suspect that this misguided optimism of yours has somehow put the kabosh on the Knicks season too. So stop before it spills over into the Jets and Giants season (as if they could get any worse).
Can Spencer Jones pitch?
ReplyDeleteDon't be mad at El Duque. Apparently it runs in the family...
ReplyDeleteI came across an article in the now defunct New Haven News and Seed written by a Bart Seeley on April 14th 1912 titled, "The White Star Line Has A Perfect Safety Record"
and another from a "Mark" Seeley writing for the now defunct Washington Washingtonian dated April 11, 1865 titled, "Lincoln to Wear New Hat."
Side note: What's with April?
Like any number of Star Wars characters, I’ve got a bad feeling about this…
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteWhat totally dire depressing news
All we need now is for Judge's big toe to go and we will have a totally finished season before it starts
I took part in a pitching contest at the MLB game I attended in London last year
I finished 3rd with a top speed of 84mph according to the speed gun on my fast ball (In my defence I am a short arse 5 foot 7 and 54 years old and have never even played a game of pick up baseball/softball in my life)
So I am willing to sign for league minimum to help out the team and be a spot 5th starter/long man out of the bullpen
84 mph is a damned good reading! Too bad you didn't take the sport up at a young age, well, and maybe add another 5 inches or so ;) Well, maybe second base or shortstop...
ReplyDeleteScottish -
ReplyDeleteThat is really really good. What's your secret? Is it the haggis? Please say it's the single malt because I could use a few more MPH.
ReplyDeletePlayed a lot of cricket growing up
For last six years I have threw a ball every day for at least an hour for my dog he is a greyhound cross and lightening fast so I need to throw very hard and flat or else he just runs past it
This is a wee video he wears a tracker on his collar as he goes missing chasing foxes and deer and it also tells you his speed this was clocked at 38mph. Volume up to hear the whoosh sound
https://streamable.com/2ppnjm
Yankees' medical staff evaluating injuries:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmInkxbvlCs
"tis only a scratch. He's day to day.
Scottish -
ReplyDeleteFast dog and clearly he can field but can he hit the curveball?