Here me out: Cole is playing 4d Chess. He gets the MRI for a hard to define and harder to diagnose malady that will take some time to read. Hal opens the purse strings and picks up Snell, Monty, Bauer, or all three. MRI comes back clean and after a week of rest, Cole starts on opening day as planned, with the pitchers that were signed under duress joining the team at the end of April. Team goes 106-24 May through September after going 13-18 in March/April with the patchwork rotation behind Cole, picking up Manny Machado for 3B at the deadline.
However Boone pinch hits DJ for Machado in game 7 of the WS trying to find some spark and DJ GIDP with the bases loaded and Yankees down by 1 in the bottom of the 9th. Hal promptly blames Soto and Machado for disrupting the clubhouse and trades Machado for pennies on the dollar and lets Soto go in free agency, extending DJ for 6 more years.
The only logical move here is what Copelius says. Sign everyone. Maybe one or two of these fragile-when-with-NYYs pitchers will make it thru an entire season without mumps, measles, or whooping cough.
HAL makes the executive decision that, with Cole down, the Window of Opportunity—not to be confused with the Cone of Silence—has already closed, and the team must now downsize. Juan Soto turns his lonely eyes to Flushing...
So, the Yankees don't want to sign Snell or Monty because a 30 million one-year contract would cost an additional 30 million plus in luxury tax. Well then, signing Bauer to a minimum contract which Trevor is willing to do is a no-brainer. Unfortunately, Cashman's and Hal's heads are no-brainers.
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Too bad the brain doesn’t understand the word “depth.“
ReplyDeleteShit
ReplyDeleteIf Cole is out, then Ca$hman is back in 2025. You can’t fire a guy because of injuries.
ReplyDeleteUmmmm...this does not bode well.
ReplyDeleteHere me out: Cole is playing 4d Chess. He gets the MRI for a hard to define and harder to diagnose malady that will take some time to read. Hal opens the purse strings and picks up Snell, Monty, Bauer, or all three. MRI comes back clean and after a week of rest, Cole starts on opening day as planned, with the pitchers that were signed under duress joining the team at the end of April. Team goes 106-24 May through September after going 13-18 in March/April with the patchwork rotation behind Cole, picking up Manny Machado for 3B at the deadline.
ReplyDeleteHowever Boone pinch hits DJ for Machado in game 7 of the WS trying to find some spark and DJ GIDP with the bases loaded and Yankees down by 1 in the bottom of the 9th. Hal promptly blames Soto and Machado for disrupting the clubhouse and trades Machado for pennies on the dollar and lets Soto go in free agency, extending DJ for 6 more years.
It goes without saying that Hal extends Boone and Cashman to lifetime contracts for making it to the WS.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteThe only logical move here is what Copelius says. Sign everyone. Maybe one or two of these fragile-when-with-NYYs pitchers will make it thru an entire season without mumps, measles, or whooping cough.
That's not to say they'll win a lot of games...
As Judge Smails said “You’ll get nothing, and like it!
ReplyDeleteCopelius -
ReplyDeleteNice!
Time to talk about "Trevor Bauer"?
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteBut, no, we don't need Snell or Montgomery.
I like your thinking, Copelius!...
ReplyDeleteOR...
HAL makes the executive decision that, with Cole down, the Window of Opportunity—not to be confused with the Cone of Silence—has already closed, and the team must now downsize. Juan Soto turns his lonely eyes to Flushing...
Th-th-th—
ReplyDeleteTraining staff the whoever head of health needs to be fired…it’s an embarrassment…
ReplyDeleteDavid Cone will hopefully never be silenced . .. .
ReplyDeleteI wish he was in the dugout as our pitching coach.
So, the Yankees don't want to sign Snell or Monty because a 30 million one-year contract would cost an additional 30 million plus in luxury tax. Well then, signing Bauer to a minimum contract which Trevor is willing to do is a no-brainer. Unfortunately, Cashman's and Hal's heads are no-brainers.
ReplyDeleteAre the Yankees done?
ReplyDeleteWill 2024 be a Bore?
Do you trust Cashman?
Should we
ROOT
ROOT
ROOT
For Kansas City?
What do we do?
And...here's the second shoe: Aaron Judge out with mysterious, "mid-spring beat up."
ReplyDeleteLove the phrases the Yankees' brass comes up with. They really should have worked for the Kremlin.
And to finish the phrase I started earlier:
"Th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!"
AA, I'd say we should root for the Mets, but they're not even trying this year. Hell, at least there's an Olympics.
ReplyDeleteHorace 66 - I will root, rooot, ROOOOOT for your book to slide into the best seller list.
ReplyDelete(feet first)
It seriously deserves it.
Great read.
Oh, fer fuck's sake.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, AA!
ReplyDelete