Wasn't it yesterday that we - the bootless and unhorsed complainers of the Yankiverse - toasted the end of 2023, a torture trail of gonadal tweaks, GIDPs and Exit Velos?
The Death Barge won a pitiful 82 games. Aaron Judge hit a mere 37 HRs, and Anthony Volpe batted a despicable .209. The results - even for YES, the most powerful propaganda machine in American sports - were unspinnable. It was a shit year.
Eighty-two wins. Eighty losses. Yikes.
Obviously, the GM and manager were quickly fired the team audited itself and made no front office changes. Sparing no expense, the team signed Cy Young winner Blake Snell, Luke Weaver.
Last March, we invited IT IS HIGH readers to predict the number of Yankee victories that would happen in 2023. For a site perceived to be venomous and bitter toward the Yankee Condition, these projections came in ridiculously high. We perceive ourselves as harsh critics of the team. In fact, we are a bunch of giggling Holly Golightlys.
In October's final tally, The WinWarblist proved to be the IT IS HIGH Nostradamus by predicting 85 victories. Alphonso - the relentless voice of doom - finished second. He was the only reader to project a sub-.500 season, 77 wins.
For the record, I was fat, drunk and stupidly upbeat, predicting 100 wins. And HoraceClarke66, currently the toast of the NYC literary scene, scored a rose-colored 93.
Well, it's time again to put our Pollyannish ignorance on display.
It's time to make our predictions for 2024.
Here's how we'll do this. Get your projections to me by Thursday, at 3:10 p.m. Eastern, when the Yankees begin their season in Houston. (They will lose, of course, unless astral projections from Garret Cole create a rip in the Matrix.) Over the next few days, post them into the Comments sections.
We need your predictions for:
The number of Yankee wins in 2024.
Tie-breaker No. 1: The number of wins to be recorded by Carlos Rodon in 2024.
Tie-breaker No. 3: The number of HRs to be hit by Juan Soto in 2024.
I'm slaving over my numbers and will post them Wednesday, after the team announces its final wave of secret injuries.
Get out your abacuses, everybody. Get thee to an AI chatbox. Time is of the essence a fuckin' asshole. But who knows? Come October 5, maybe you will be the new IT IS HIGH Nostradamus.
By the way, here's how we all did last year... Read it and bleep.
THE IT IS HIGH Predictions for 2023
Name Wins Judge HRs Volpe BA
The Idiots
Stang 102 74 .241
JM 101 55 .262
Platoni 101 52 .287
ME, EL DUQUE 100 63 .238
Eaters of the Crap
Ken of Brooklyn 98 49 .248
Mattingly’s Mustache 97 60 .273
Dave Murray 97 54 .262
Ranger_lp 96 47 .273
Hammer of God 96 37 .260
PgPick 96 52 .257
Doug K 96 47 .301
Jaraxle (form Dantes) 96 52 .282
Gary Frenay 96 55 .277
Hopeless Romantics
Zachary A 95 43 .253
Carl J. Weitz 94 45 .271
Kevin 94 52 .274
Vampifella 94 18 .225
HoraceClarke66 93 42 .244
Hinkey Haines 93 44 .272
BernBabyBern 92 36 .276
AboveAverage 92 48 .281
David Bellela 92 x x
MildredLopez 91 44 .251
Lieber 91 50 .282
Rufus T. Firefly 90 44 .256
RtotheE 90 50 .250
Dopeless Romantics
Borntorun99 89 36 .248
Urban Farmer 89 28 .231
DickAllen 89 54 .241
Scottish Yankee fan 88 44 .245
Archangel 88 49 .280
13bit 86 51 .271
CelerinoSanchez 86 39 .269
WinWarblist 85 52 .242
The Angry One
Alphonso 77 47 .289
84 wins, 6 wins for Rondon and 44 HRs for Soto
ReplyDelete87 Wins Yanks 8 Wins Rodon 37 HRs Soto
ReplyDeleteThe number of Yankee wins in 2024.
ReplyDeleteLets see...
Cole = 0 plus Soto and Gil, minus 1/2 Judge, (carry the Stanton off the field by May) times the number of games blown by Boone divided by the number of positions we did not address...
92
Tie-breaker No. 1: The number of wins to be recorded by Carlos Rodon in 2024.
A better one might be the number of times Rodon acts like a whiney little bitch. But OK... I'll go out on a limb here and say that he breaks a limb after 9 wins.
Tie-breaker No. 3: The number of HRs to be hit by Juan Soto in 2024.
Sotto sono buoni! Walk year. Plays well under the lights... 48.
Well, we went "all in" this year, which means of course we didn't. After another half-assed off-season performance by Hal and the Kinkies, we're doomed to more mediocrity.
ReplyDeleteEven in the face of that, it's still basically impossible to predict the future, and we all know you can't predict baseball.
So, wins: 93 and a playoff spot. Eleven wins better than last year? Well, if the stars and the stars on the IL align...
Rodent, though: yuck. 7 wins, and that's being generous. He'll likely end up on the IL again for an extended period, hiding from the spotlight that shows what an arrogant, macho fraud he is.
But Soto is playing for the money, so he'll blinker himself against the bumbling organization and hit for personal numbers. Meaning 47 HRs, if not more.
And for the hell of it, Volpe will hit a lot better than last year. Maybe even .250! (Gasp)
85, 7, 40
ReplyDelete83/8/34 bonus Cole W0-L0
ReplyDeleteI refuse to remove my rose-colored glasses. Hence:
ReplyDelete92 wins thanks to the last minute addition of Trevor Bauer
16 wins for Rodon
38 HR for Soto (this vote has been influenced by others who think he will kick ass because of his expiring contract)
The new and improved, offensive New York Yankees, with a black hole of a pitching staff, will win
ReplyDelete80 Games
Carlos the second coming of the Fat Toad will win 9 games
And Juan, who will want a big contract from the Dodgers (who will borrow the money from Yamamoto to finance it) will hit 54 short porch solo screamers
90 WINS
ReplyDeleteCarLoss Wins 12
Soto Hits 45
Wins: 103 (Up from last year)
ReplyDeleteRodon wins: 28 (Matching what will be our championship count)
Soto Go-go's: 73 (One behind Judge)
Stang - Your numbers just made me giggle snort my oatmeal . . .
ReplyDeleteIs Stang a burner account for Ca$hman?
ReplyDeleteMy predictions are the product of advanced metrics.
ReplyDeleteI've smoked some of those advanced metrics, Stang. They're damn good.
ReplyDeleteOh, and...because somebody should say it, RIP Peter Angelos. The man tried. And you have to appreciate that in an owner.
Later today, Oh! Oh! Oh! Ohtani is speaking to the press about the whole gambling kerfuffle. He'll lie. And he won't actually speak to the press, except for the Japanese press present. He'll speak to the backup interpreter, hopefully not a close friend who'll place bets for him with illegal bookies in CA (where sports gambling is not yet legal). I also hope he takes care of his old friend who took the fall for him.
I’m gonna be slightly less optimistic and go for 90 wins, 11 for Rondon and 42 home runs for Soto
ReplyDelete93 wins, 9 for rodon, and 37 for Soto.
ReplyDeleteSo to get there in late-September
Soto will have to take us there, but that's not just
so, toe of Judge will be what gets us thru late-October.
ReplyDeleteWins 83
Rondon 6
Soto 27
We are doomed I tell ye dooooomed
Let’s Go Trippin’, :
ReplyDeleteWins: 85
Rodon: 9 Wins
Soto: 35 hrs
Team gets final W/C, loses in first round.
Biggest Disappointment: Cole (honorable mention: Judge)
Biggest Surprise: Gleyber Torres (honorable mention: Oscar Gonzalez)
Boone receives 2 year contract extension after the season.
LeMahieu to start the season on the IL
ReplyDelete“I’m shocked!” Said by: No one.
Hey Hey Hey,,,, 88 for the Yanks, 8 wins for Rodon and 37 boom booms for Soto
ReplyDeleteLet the PAIN BEGIN!
I reserve the right to edit these forecasts, if another Yankee goes to the surgical ward, prior to Thursday:
ReplyDeleteWins 82
Rodon Wins 4
Soto HRs 27
Wins=95
ReplyDeleteRodon=12
Soto=42
My annual rose colored glasses are in full Spring mode. Someday, they will seek and see the truth……
On an unrelated note, Hey Duque, can we get a re- do in July????
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFor all the lamentations and vitriol that regularly appear on this blog, these predictions are surprisingly optimistic.
ReplyDeleteThere are fewer idiots, but the majority fall into the Hopeless Romantic category.
Whoda thunk it?
82 -- 3 -- 35
ReplyDeleteFool me 15 times and I get pissed at you!
The 82 is generous only because there are so many patsies in the majors now. Soto walk year, so he'll (hopefully) ignore all launch angle/exit velo advice from the Yankee idiots.
Stang either ignored the brown acid announcement and went for it, or Celerino is right. Either way, I'm concerned.
(edited for coherence, not predictions)
I'm going to regret this by June, but here it goes:
ReplyDeleteYankee wins - 93
Rodon "wins" - 11
Soto Bangers - 39
ReplyDeleteWelp, I'll wade in
Yankees - 86 wins
Rhoda - 10
Soto - 29 (he doesn't hit a ton of homeruns)
79 Wins
ReplyDelete7 Rodon Wins
52 Soto HR
I managed to get one out of the three right! Volpe really needed more seasoning and his average reflected that. I did say Judge would go down with injury and that happened at 16 HR. I thought I would win that with my guess of 18 HRs! Dang! The Yanks were a better team than what their win total was and should have won more.
ReplyDeleteThis year I'm going 90 wins. They are basically the same team as before, but plus Soto and minus half a season of Cole. They'll win games via HR instead of via Cole.
Carlos Rodon? Ugh. 6 wins and I feel that's probably too optimistic. He's really not THAT good of a pitcher. May need to convert him to a closer ALA Eck sooner rather than later.
Juan Soto? 40. He could put up huge record Judge-like HR numbers but I have a feeling it's more likely that his strikeouts will climb to Judge-like numbers instead.
90 wins - 6 Rodon Wins - 40 Soto HRs
85/9/33
ReplyDelete79 - Wins
ReplyDelete7 - Rod On Fire Wins
37 -Soto Homeris Sui Generis
My Cat (AKA - Above-Average-Kitty) wishes to chime in with His/Their prediction/s:
ReplyDelete87 Team wins*
10 Rodamn! wins*
41 Soto SWANGS*
* 33 - 05 - 19 if the world ends prior to the end of July
A lot of optimists here. Who'd a thunk it?
ReplyDeleteWins: 86 (with a lot of high scoring games the Yankees will lose)
Rodon wins: 8 (I'm going on a limb here, maybe 4 wins and a stretcher mid-season)
Soto HR's: 42 (and a one way ticket to LA)
Other predictions:
Percentage of roster sent to IL: 35%
Number of times Boone will make excuses for management: 162
Lonn Trost will say something derogatory about working class people.
Randy Levine will say something nasty about Soto's performance come contract time.
Yankees will lose in the wild card one-off and Cashman will claim victory
Hal will keep on counting his money and buy another European soccer team with the winnings.
Monty will hold the Yankees to 2 runs or less every time he pitches against them. Cashman will say nothing. Boone will make excuses.
To paraphrase a certain rock band of my youth, I don't get fooled again.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to go with 77 wins last season, but was dissuaded by the apparent weakness of the league. Now, I see that doesn't matter. To borrow an adage from politics, you can't beat somebody with nobody. And I foolishly thought all major-league teams would have fences that didn't give way. So...
2024: The year the wheels come off.
Yankees—69-93.
Rodon—5 wins.
Soto—33 homers (Yes, it's a walk year, and once Judge and Stanton go down again, they'll just keep walking him.)
Further predictions:
Judge—32 home runs, in 102 games.
Stanton—Thanks to his new conditioning regimen, his average does NOT drop by another 20 points, but rallies to .195 or so.
Volpe—.201, with less power, as the strikeouts and the frustration mount.
Rizzo—At least 30 games missed with tight lats, or light bats, or whatever.
Sevvy in Queens wins more games than any Yankees starter.
No Yankee in the "super-charged" bullpen will compile more than 12 saves.
Andujar gets more hits that both of the Oswaldii combined.
Time to party like it's 1965, people.
From Bryan Hoch:
ReplyDeleteThe Yankees' roster appears set for now, barring a trade involving Jahmai Jones or Ben Rortvedt. Both are out of Minor League options.
P (13): Beeter, Burdi, Cortes, Ferguson, Gil, Gonzalez, Hamilton, Holmes, Loaisiga, Rodon, Schmidt, Stroman, Weaver
C (3): Trevino, Wells, Rortvedt
IF (4): Cabrera, Rizzo, Torres, Volpe
OF (5): Grisham, J. Jones, Judge, Soto, Verdugo
DH (1): Stanton
What a dogshit roster....
ReplyDeleteGentlemen and Ladies:
ReplyDeleteThere has been a lot of questionable talk here today about there being a lot of questionable talk here today regarding all the optimism being expressed within the numbers of the predictions made by everyone invested here within the world of IIHITFITC.
Allow me to respectfully point out to each and everyone tuning in - that regardless of how terrible Cashmund and the weird little Steinbrenner Twink have been in their god awful day to day, hands-on oversight of the operations of these, OUR NEW YORK YANKEES - that WE - US- YOU and ME are the biggest fans of this team and (choking back a few tears) are forever hoping that we do better and exceed our expectations to win it all and make our aging and fading selfs once again find some joy in all that we've invested over the years in our team1
WE WANT TO FEEL THE UNBRIDLED JOY OF WINNING IT ALL ONE MORE TIME WITHIN OUR LIFETIMES!
So even if we chose over 70 wins with this 2024 team, it is because we care so very much.
Embrace the optimism - Hug the Joy - Kiss the lips of the possible World Series Champions!
Only by all joining together do we stand a chance of experiencing Victory!
It is a better choice than collapsing in a dusty mound of decomposing death and despair.
Thank you!*
(Not reviewed or corrected by a proper proof read so please feel free to point out any issues with the cobbling of this message if you choose to)
81wins, and they pop champagne at the end of the season that they kept the “no losing seasons!” Streak going.
ReplyDelete14 wins for Rodon. But Cole doesn’t come back, Nestor struggles and the rest of the staff is a mess.
38 home runs for Soto. Only 77 RBIs, though, because nobody gets on base.
89 wins for the team, 11 wins for the Rodon, and 31 HRs for the Soto.
ReplyDeleteI'm taking the over on how many times Cashman, Boone, and Steinbrenner are cursed on this blog during the season. I don't care what the number is - I'm taking the over.
80 win season for the Yanks
ReplyDelete8 measly wins for Rodon
36 HR for Soto
Almost missed this lottery. Good thing I checked in today! Hey, ya gotta be in it to win it!
Oh yes, more predictions: Judge only 28 HR, because he has an injury-riddled year. And Volpe hits .255 with less uppercut. Cole misses the entire season with the barking elbow, then does surgery in the winter and will also miss the entire 2025 season.
ReplyDeleteNYY - 94
ReplyDeleteRodon - 10
Soto - 33
86 wins
ReplyDeleteRodon 9
Soto 15
88 wins, 188 groin pulls, ACL tears, Tommy John surgeries, sore toes, and hurt feelings. Rodon ten wins, Soto 51 taters
ReplyDeleteYankees win 97. Rodon wins 10. Soto hits 36 hrs. I know, I know... very optimistic.
ReplyDelete