Picture a seemingly normal evening in Tampa. Clear skies. Light winds. Eight thousand in attendance. A veteran umpiring crew. Two regular MLB starting lineups. And then... a curtain of nothingness rolls in on the horizon...
Two teams play a full nine innings, 27 outs apiece, without scoring...
Not. One. Run.
The mighty Marlins manage five hits, the hellbent Yankees, two. And it's not Koufax v Ford, either. It's Weathers v Beeter. Eleven Yanks fan. Two work walks. Nobody threatens. Nothing happens. It's as if a floating Bermuda Triangle suddenly covers Cigar City, bringing a Zone of Totality to eclipse every Yank bat except Giancarlo Stanton and Anthony Volpe, who contribute the two hits.
It's as if the '23 Yankees have risen from their grave to roam the earth again. Nine innings, nothing. Scary...
Today's Gammonitic narratives mostly invoke the performance of Clayton Beeler, who threw three scoreless innings and fanned four. Okay, fine. Any decent outing by any viable Yank pitcher gives us hope that rejecting Blake Snell and Jordan Montgomery won't turn out to be the defining mistake of 2024.
By now, I believe it's clear that Hal Steinbrenner is not playing three-dimensional chicken with Scott Boras - that he simply will not sign another pitcher, even if they accept one-year deals. The Death Barge is done spending, even if one of our key starters tweaks a thingy. The big question is whether either free agent pitcher could land in our backyard.
Steve Cohen could still snag one, or both, furthering the sense that NYC is turning Met. That may be inevitable, as the billionaire seeks to show off his financial testosterone. Of more direct concern, though, is the AL East. Tampa and Baltimore won't sign anybody, but Toronto and/or Boston could jump in. Each would improve quickly, threatening the Yankees wild card chances.
Another finish out of the postseason could leave the Yankees in ruins.
So, what did happen last night? Did we glimpse the future?
For now, I'm going with global warming. The butterfly that flaps its wings in China creates the atmospheric river over Los Angeles, which cools the bats in Sarasota. That's all we need to know.
If Clayton Beeter is for real, he poses an existential threat to - well - Luke Weaver. I guess that sums it up. Beeter or Weaver? And WTF is going on?
After Ohtanamotogeddon, we're obviously not turning Japanese, so it somehow makes sense that we're turning Met. Hal "Shortarms" Steinbrenner will not be reaching into his little bitty pockets to sign another meaningful pitcher.
ReplyDeleteSad.
Here's how the IBS Lady explains last night: BRIAN HAL BOONIE
ReplyDelete(Reaching into my bag of Baseball cliches)
ReplyDelete“The pitchers are ahead of the hitters right now”
No Zone Of Interest there last night.
"Ohtanamotogeddon"
ReplyDeletenice
Wow. El Duque.
ReplyDeleteYou actually think the Yankees are going to make the wild card game.
Wildly Optimistic.
Number One on 71 year old Scott Boras’ playlist:
ReplyDeleteMelanie ~
Well, I've got a brand-new pair of roller skates
You've got a brand-new key
I think that we should get together
And try them on to see
I've been looking around a while
You've got something for me
Oh, I've got a brand-new pair of roller skates
You've got a brand-new key
I think that we should get together
And try them on to see
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la
Oh, I've got a brand-new pair of roller skates
You've got a brand-new key
As the pee ran down my leg from the Yes BS we got from Flaherty and Curry, I watched the Yankee bats stiffed by the stiff pitchers the Marlins threw out agqainst the Yankees. We know that doofus Boone will rest both Judge and Soto in the same game during the regular season and we will get the same. Lethargy and strikeouts.
ReplyDeleteWhat happens first this season...Stanton DFA or a Rondon't "injury" explains ERA>5.00? BTW I'm still tracking the Kevin Brown>Carlos Rondon metric. Good ole KB had 14 wins for the Yanks...Rondon't has 3.
ReplyDeleteThank you for explaining the source of the atmospheric rivers we recently experienced.
ReplyDeleteIn this part of the US, there was no way to access the yankee game , other than by HAM radio. Alternatively, I could buy annual subscriptions to Hulu, FloSports , Paramount +. Fox + , espn 106. and Demimonde. That combination would get me the first and fifth innings, apparently.
When I learned of the 0-0 outcome, I was relieved. I missed nothing.
Like watching the US women's soccer team against Mexico.
What a season this will be.
Wonder why Cole got pulled after only 22 pitches tonight?
ReplyDeleteBecause he's injured
ReplyDelete