This team sucks, as we expected. Maybe not the worst team in baseball, but it's mediocre at best. Not a "championship caliber" team. Probably not even a .500 team. Won't be long before this year is over and we're doing the annual Yankee funeral. This year, might not even make it to mid-June before the usual collapse. Already out of 1st place after a hot start. That's likely the last time they'll be in 1st place this year.
An unusually bloated, mushroom complected manchild slowly drag stepped his way towards us. As he got closer, we could see he was wearing a shabby, grease stained Yankees jersey. And, we could finally make out what he was saying. Two sentences, whispered over and over, punctuated by a wet, dysphlagic swallow.
Alright, I’ll fall somewhere between the pessimism here and the optimism of pa. This team has slightly improved from last season, but not enough to make a difference. Unfortunately there isn’t a clear path out as tanking only works if you have assets to sell. They have to figure out how to get rid of Stanton, trade off Torres and cross their fingers one of the kids can figure out how to hit enough to stick around. Play Dominguez at dh and give Rice or Wells a ton of reps at first. Give Jones another month and then bump him to Scranton, they’ll need him next year. Re sign Soto, they can afford it.
JoeFOB - everybody here knew they sucked. Just a few of the less beaten-down-by-life members here got their little hearts and hopes up for a hot flash. Brian always knows how to smash our hopes to smithereens, though. We are all Wile E. Coyote on this blog.
“I don’t feel like we have a (backup) first baseman right now on the roster,” he said. From the "Athletic": Brian Cashman,“Rizzo is being run out there every day. Obviously, if LeMahieu was here, you could swing DJ over and give us some coverage. I know Cabrera can play first but then who’s playing third? I feel like we have a little bit of exposure at first base coverage behind Rizzo and the left side of the infield coverage is exposed with Berti down and LeMahieu down. We’re a little bit vulnerable because of that. We have a little bit of a hiccup there that we were hoping would get solved with LeMahieu coming back soon. It is what it is.
“The legitimate choices for (manager Aaron) Boone currently aren’t as comforting but that’s also the nature of the beast sometimes with how your season is playing out. You got to grind through it with what you got. People get asked to do things they’re not used to doing. It’s happened every year and right now, there are a few things we have to navigate.”
Garrett Cooper was recently DFA'd but the Yankees can't spring for the extra three or so million. So the translation from Cashman would be, 'ballplayers, endeavor to persevere'. How many years in a row have the Yankees had NO ONE to call up from the farm and fill in at first base? Cashman baiting has gotten too easy. But come the fuck on! He's spelling out in this interview that roster/farm construction is piss fucking poor! George used to infuriate me, but man they need to call in a necromancer to bring him back for a MEETING.
Rufus, I can’t believe this is happening again. It’s like Groundhog Day with this team. Same poorly constructed team year after year. I’d like to shoot myself except I’d wake up tomorrow morning to the same team I saw last year, and the year before and the year before and…
The guy who just flew in from Minnesota is the guy to send out there in the 10th, in a save situation? Contenders have better options. The Yankees aren't a contender.
Members of the blog can comment. To receive an e-mailed invitation, write to johnandsuzyn@gmail.com. And check spam if it doesn't show up. (Google account required.)
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.
So, is Boonie the new Edie Sedgwick?
ReplyDeleteThis team sucks, as we expected. Maybe not the worst team in baseball, but it's mediocre at best. Not a "championship caliber" team. Probably not even a .500 team. Won't be long before this year is over and we're doing the annual Yankee funeral. This year, might not even make it to mid-June before the usual collapse. Already out of 1st place after a hot start. That's likely the last time they'll be in 1st place this year.
ReplyDeleteAn unusually bloated, mushroom complected manchild slowly drag stepped his way towards us. As he got closer, we could see he was wearing a shabby, grease stained Yankees jersey. And, we could finally make out what he was saying. Two sentences, whispered over and over, punctuated by a wet, dysphlagic swallow.
ReplyDeleteDead Cow
Holy Cow
Dead Cow
Holy Cow
Look on the bright side. This team showed us who they were and let us down easily in April. The '22 team took until mid-June.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah? You guys just wait until Judge comes around. And...and Torres. And...and...and Stanton!
ReplyDeleteIf Trevino can do it, anyone can.
JM - here’s hoping that Santana finds some way to bring JOY into your weekend
ReplyDeleteOnly if I play a Santana LP, AA.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...Edie Boone. I like it, Bit.
JM - CHRIST - you didn’t think that I was talking about the ball player did you?
ReplyDeleteLOL!!
ReplyDeleteSorry, my mistake!
ReplyDeleteThe saying apparently goes, "if you sit down at a poker table and can't figure out inside of 5 minutes who the sucker is...." -- it be you.
Well, we're not done with April yet, but we've managed to suss out where the Mooks are.
The mooks are the posters and readers of this blog.
I am NOT excluding myself.
AA - your "dead cow/holy cow" post up top is truly lyrical.
ReplyDeleteThank you
Alright, I’ll fall somewhere between the pessimism here and the optimism of pa. This team has slightly improved from last season, but not enough to make a difference. Unfortunately there isn’t a clear path out as tanking only works if you have assets to sell. They have to figure out how to get rid of Stanton, trade off Torres and cross their fingers one of the kids can figure out how to hit enough to stick around. Play Dominguez at dh and give Rice or Wells a ton of reps at first. Give Jones another month and then bump him to Scranton, they’ll need him next year. Re sign Soto, they can afford it.
ReplyDeleteJoeFOB - everybody here knew they sucked. Just a few of the less beaten-down-by-life members here got their little hearts and hopes up for a hot flash. Brian always knows how to smash our hopes to smithereens, though. We are all Wile E. Coyote on this blog.
ReplyDeleteWe are poor little lambs who have lost our way.
ReplyDeleteBaaa baaaa baaaaa.
Much appreciated, Bitty.
ReplyDelete“I don’t feel like we have a (backup) first baseman right now on the roster,” he said. From the "Athletic": Brian Cashman,“Rizzo is being run out there every day. Obviously, if LeMahieu was here, you could swing DJ over and give us some coverage. I know Cabrera can play first but then who’s playing third? I feel like we have a little bit of exposure at first base coverage behind Rizzo and the left side of the infield coverage is exposed with Berti down and LeMahieu down. We’re a little bit vulnerable because of that. We have a little bit of a hiccup there that we were hoping would get solved with LeMahieu coming back soon. It is what it is.
ReplyDelete“The legitimate choices for (manager Aaron) Boone currently aren’t as comforting but that’s also the nature of the beast sometimes with how your season is playing out. You got to grind through it with what you got. People get asked to do things they’re not used to doing. It’s happened every year and right now, there are a few things we have to navigate.”
Garrett Cooper was recently DFA'd but the Yankees can't spring for the extra three or so million. So the translation from Cashman would be, 'ballplayers, endeavor to persevere'. How many years in a row have the Yankees had NO ONE to call up from the farm and fill in at first base? Cashman baiting has gotten too easy. But come the fuck on! He's spelling out in this interview that roster/farm construction is piss fucking poor! George used to infuriate me, but man they need to call in a necromancer to bring him back for a MEETING.
Glass man is out of the line-up tonight.
ReplyDeleteMeaning he's available to ground into that all important DP in late innings.
It’s a Soto a GoGo
ReplyDeleteIt’s a Vert-A-GoGo
ReplyDeleteI’m getting that feeling of déjà vu all over again
ReplyDelete94 mph fastball right down the middle and Judge couldn’t get any wood on it.
ReplyDeleteDick,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the club.
Grisham a go-go
ReplyDeleteNot kidding
Always pay fealty to the juju gods.
ReplyDeleteIts a Judge-A-NoNo
ReplyDeleteIt’s a Boone Boner ……..
ReplyDeleteB O I N G ! ! !
Rufus, I can’t believe this is happening again. It’s like Groundhog Day with this team. Same poorly constructed team year after year. I’d like to shoot myself except I’d wake up tomorrow morning to the same team I saw last year, and the year before and the year before and…
ReplyDeleteStan (gets it) on!
ReplyDeleteSigh
ReplyDeleteThaaaaaaaa Yaaaaaankeeeeeez are beaten by the Brewskis in extra innings.
ReplyDeletePlease get home safely.
If you see Cashman hitchhiking on the way home, please do not offer him a ride.
Clunk him on the head with that empty can of Schlitz you’ve been meaning to throw out since the early seventies.
Once it gets to extra innings, you know it’s over. They should just take the loss and save the pen
ReplyDeleteVolpe, Judge, Rizzo, Torres: 0-19, with 7k’s
Fucking 🤡 show
The guy who just flew in from Minnesota is the guy to send out there in the 10th, in a save situation? Contenders have better options. The Yankees aren't a contender.
ReplyDeletePathetic.
ReplyDelete