Wednesday, April 10, 2024

With earthquakes, eclipses and the looming plague of locusts, the Yankees are surging into Doomsday

The Athletic is serving fresh clickbait from its Joyous Waste of Time Buffet: Weekly MLB rankings! Have at it, people. As if we needed another dollop of crazy crapola, we should now worry that the Yankees are not running up the scores enough when beating Slippery Rock and SUNY Purchase. FWIW, the Yankees today rank 3rd, behind Atlanta and the Dodgers, the perennial Marvel & DC, Coke & Pepsi, Machine Gun & Megan.  

So, here we are: Best record in baseball, 2.5 games ahead of Boston in the AL East, two batters in the the AL top 10 (Volpe and Soto), and a closer (Holmes) who has yet to give up a run, though he hasn't been as flawless as a 0.00 ERA suggests.

Dammit, we should be No. 1! Whadda wegotta do to win over the writers? Beat every team by 10? Factoring in the competition, last night's win over Miami may have dropped us a bit. Damn you, Boone! 

Thoughts about baseball's No 3:

1. Our surge has coincided with an earthquake and solar eclipse, and a plague of locusts is scheduled for late next week. Floods, fires and famine in May. Civil war in June. Asteroid strike in July. Pandemic in August. Alien invasion in August. If we can keep this up, we should be No. 1 for the End of Days. 

2. When playing a legitimately awful team, such as 1-11 Miami, it's hard to know where your talent tails off and their wretchedness takes over. That costs us in the all-important weekly rankings, but - well - fukkit. Beating the bads has been a hallmark of Yankee championship teams. 

3. After Miami, we visit hot Cleveland and stumbling Toronto (6-6), then welcome Tampa (6-6) and Oakland. Yes, Oakland, the owner-cursed franchise destined to spend the next two years in Sacramento, apparently because Bakersfield wasn't interested. If we can avoid a losing streak, we could fatten up on Oakland in time for the brood hatch. 

4. Speaking of small things, last night in Scranton, mighty mite Caleb Durbin played CF. He went 2-4, now batting .469 and 2nd in the International League. But - hmm - centerfield? WTF? I cannot help but think the Yankees are shopping Durbin, looking to score some backend bullpen fodder. I've come to love the idea of a Yankee Altuve, but honestly, if they can get something in a trade, Durbin is probably at the height of his trading value. 

5. Give him credit: Carlos Rodon pitched well last night, lowering his ERA to 1.72. He left with the bases loaded and no outs (though not his fault.) In many respects, Rodon is the most important Yankee. Without Cole, he is the ace. 

6. Last night, the Yankees, as a team, only struck out three times. Three. Impossible, you say? Only three. Wait a minute. We're ranked No. 3. We used three pitchers. Three strikeouts. And tonight, we go for a - holy crap - a Ryan McBroom three game sweep? Am I dreaming? 

12 comments:

  1. If they really wanted to win, they'd trade Gleyber Torres and bring up Caleb Durbin. A certified pest like that can supercharge your offense. We'd finally have an answer to that evil dwarf in Houston. We'd have our own little guy who drives other teams nuts. Baseball is actually a size friendly game, although the number crunching morons don't know it. Little guys can have tiny strike zones. With some big time talent, they become almost impossible to pitch against. Add in some high tech cheating (hidden cams, buzzers, computer algorithms) and some low tech cheating (garbage cans), and you got yourself a Hall of Famer.

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  2. I still can't believe Torres is leading off. But the analytics must be right. They always are, aren't they?

    I'm holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    This start can't be real. Can it?

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  3. The question is : is it sustainable?

    Big “NO!” to trading Durbin, who should be our starting 2B next year.

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  4. Mr Allen - How high in the sky do you imagine that shoe must be?

    Surely by now it must have reached terminal velocity, correct?

    Its impact could be like one of those legendary meteors that wiped out the dinosaurs.

    Let’s hope it hits somewhere constructive first before bouncing over to the Bronx.

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  5. Let's leave Deanna Durbin where he is for the moment. We can always bring him up (but I'm betting Cashman wouldn't) if something happens to Graybar (nice building, btw).

    Will 10-2 run up to 20-4? 30-6? 40-8? Wouldn't that be something? Not sure what, but it sure would be something.

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  6. If Durban continues this pace, Yanks will have to move Torres...that's actually a nice predicament...

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  7. @ AA, Ter-Ter-Ter-Terminal Ve-lo-ci-ty! I'm sorry, been listening to British band Saxon.

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  8. AA - I'll keep my eyes peeled.

    And carry an umbrella.

    Torres is in his walk year, so I say, let the man go! Better yet, package him at the TD. He's not valuable enough to waste any sheckels on.

    But, since The Intern likes to waste his owner's money, he'll probably sign him to a lucrative, long-term deal.

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  9. Here is a very fun fact and it raises an interesting question: Are the Juju Gods more powerful than specific historical facts and correlatuons?
    Specifically, It’s the fourth time in franchise history the Yankees have started 10-2; in their previous three seasons with such a start (1922, 1949, 2003), they advanced to the World Series.

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  10. I'd take the 1949 results, even though that would mean I didn't win the case of Utica Club for my preseason predictions.

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