Thank you, Minnesota. But what about Juan? Ten nervous takeaways

1. Let's be honest, real, scientific - without resorting to baseless hysteria. Why spread unnecessary fear and anxiety? Baseball should be fun, a joyous game of pitch and hit, and rooting for the Yankees should be a stress-free romp, not a nightly slither through the flaming jaws of Hell. So, in a loftier sensibility, let's happily accept one simple reality:

If Soto is hurt, it's over. 

The season. The dream. The hope. Forget about it. Forget 2024. Forget the decade. Forget baseball. Maybe someday, around 2050 - when we're  sitting, like Eleanor Rigby's face, in a jar by some door - the Yankees will rise. If we're lucky enough to have grandchildren who remember us in videos- they'll be in their 50s - someone will say, "Hey, wasn't that Old (insert your name's) team?" 

Last night, Soto left with a tight forearm. In my life, I cannot recall leaving anything because of a tight forearm. I don't know what such a thing feels like. But I do know that the Yankees always soft-soap injuries, like John Wayne shrugging off flesh wounds, and lost days quickly become lost months.  

If Soto is hurt, well, there goes the lineup. Here come the dominoes. Soon, Stanton will tweak something. Then Judge. Then Gil, then Rodon - then the avalanche, like those doomsday glaciers at the poles, always the size of Delaware, which will slide into the sea and swamp New York all the way to Binghamton. 

It's over, that's all. If Soto is hurt...

Via ABOVE AVERAGE

2. Tonight, it's Cody Poteet v. Yoshi Yamamoto, a phrase that would have been incomprehensible last year. Poteet is the most unlikely Yankee scrapheap find in 2024. Yamamoto is the one that got away - but not from us. We came in a distant third in last winter's auction. It's the Mets who were dissed. They shot their wad, financially, and the guy simply didn't want to pitch for them. 

Thus far, he's been a decent starter, an expensive version of Marcus Stroman. Not a superstar. Not even a Luis Gil. But but but... it doesn't matter. 

If Soto is hurt, we will lose. We'll see a big 0-for-4 in the two hole, and if the Dodgers score one run, it's over - the way it's been in BS years - that is, Before Soto. 

3-10. Really, do they matter? Should we care that Judge looked lost last night in LF? He gave up on a pop fly that bounced in for a double, showing no sense of LF, having almost never played there. 

But if Soto is hurt, he'll be moving to RF, anyway. 

The Anthonys - Volpe and Rizzo - will both suffer. Volpe won't have the protection of two great sluggers behind him. Rizzo won't have the  baserunners. 

Why go on? What's the point? If Soto is hurt... well, we know what's going to happen. And it won't be pretty.