Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Vlad Jr. says he might play for the Yankees, after all. He can &%$# himself.

Vladimir Guerrero Jr. - the nepo baby who once vowed never to join the evil Yankees - now says he'd deign to accept a trade to Gomorrah and bark for Satan's dog team. 

"I'm a worker, I'm a professional, and I go out on the field to play," he said yesterday, when asked if he is nothing but a sleazy prostitute would ever don the loathsome pinstripes.

I believe I speak for the Yankiverse in hoping that Junior never suffers such indignity as to join the Bronx Babylons. 

Though it's tempting to see him in the order - and eating shit each night during the roll call - here are 10 reasons why the Yankees should pass on Vlad II at the Aug 1 trade deadline.

1. The price tag. Toronto would demand Jasson Dominguez and/or Spencer Jones, our best position prospects. Neither has been gangbusters lately. The Martian is out with a Giancarlo-style tweak, and Jones simply hasn't hit. But it would mean sending one, or both, in a package of youth (Ben Rice? Clarke Schmidt? Luis Gil?) that could gut the Yankees for a generation. 

2. Chasing Vlad would embody the kind of moonshot trade made by a desperate franchise, one seeking to make the postseason. As sluggish as the Yankees now look, they still should be a lock on making the expanded playoffs. From there, who knows?  

3. For the last three years, Guerrero's power numbers have declined. He hit 48 HRs in 2021, 32 in 2022, 26 last year, and this year he's on course for about 22. (He now has 10.) He's still a force. Just sayin'. 

4. He bats RH - again, not a deal-breaker - but when Stanton returns, Guerrero would push the Yankees toward a righty imbalance. (This could be a real problem if Verdugo doesn't start hitting.)

5. Vlad would effectively end the Yankee career of Anthony Rizzo, whose  smiling presence in the dugout is one of the few anchors of stability on this team. Somehow, through concussions and broken bones, Rizzo is always laughing, always showing up, always lowering stress levels. But with Guerrero at 1B, there would be no place for Rizzo, and everybody would know it.

6.  At 25, Vlad has one year left on a $19 million contract and will be eligible for arbitration next winter. He'll get a huge raise, maybe $30 million. Considering that Hal Steinbrenner is already poormouthing, we must wonder if Juan Soto would be gone. Frankly, I'd prefer Soto over Junior, any day.

7. The Yankees have more pressing needs than 1B. They need a solid bullpen arm - actually, a few. Depending on Jose Trevino's next few weeks, they might have to find a catcher. (Higgy, where art thou?) 

8. Wait, have I said it? Fuck Guerrero. You don't get to shit-talk about a team and a city, and then expect their fans to forget what you said. Guy belongs in Canada. Does Edmonton have a team? 

9. Let the Jays trade him to Milwaukee Kansas City Montreal.

10. Who needs Junior when we've got J.D. Davis!

22 comments:

  1. Magnificent post, Duque! And yes to all points.

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  2. We have so many needs elsewhere. SO MANY.

    But relax, we’re talking MONEY here. That alone will (excuse the expression) hamstring us at the deadline.

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  3. The Toronto management is worse than the Yankees. All that young talent and absolutely nothing to show for it.

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  4. Amen, Duque!

    Vlad the Lad is a jerk—and, as you write, a mysteriously declining one at that. After his near-MVP year in 2021, his every hitting stat has plummeted.

    Or maybe it's not so mysterious. He looks out of shape, and he often barely seems to be trying. I loathed how he cavorted through the All-Star Game last year, obviously not giving a damn.

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  5. The Vlad we should've signed was his father, Vlad Dad—yet another player who alone would've put us over the top for several more championships.

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  6. And Celerino is right: how has Toronto not managed to win with that team?

    Incredible how many front offices are even more incompetent—or less motivated—than ours.

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  7. You just know The Intern is thinking the Yankees are really close to winning the WS this year and that he will surely do something incredibly stupid at the TD.

    But please, not that Fat Bastard. Ever.

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  8. *IF* they could get him for nothing in return -- and have the BJs pay most of his salary, I'd be all for it. Just to have him have to cut his hair. Then DFA him after one game that he sat on the bench.

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  10. ...and with his physique, I don't think he's flexible enough to fuck himself without toys.

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  11. Didn’t we sign Sheffield instead of Vlad senior, or am I just having a mismemory, as G W Bush might have said.

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  12. You're right, Bitty. And Sheff was a very good—if drug-enhanced—hitter. But he didn't have the overall game that Vlad Dad did, and he didn't last nearly as long.

    Of course, afterwards Cashman blamed that decision on Old George.

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  13. At least Sheff made it all . . . . a little more interesting out there on the field.

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  14. I hope a special team is created for Vald 2, Kyrie Irving and other deplorables and that’s who he gets traded to.

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  15. When Vlad, Jr. made that comment he was only 21. I could forgive that as an impulsive remark from a kid. What I can't forgive is the fact that at only 25, he's become a fat, lazy, and self-centered fading star.

    If you look at Vlad, Sr. vs. Sheffield's hitting stats they are eerily similar with Gary eking out a narrow victory. As far as fielding goes, they were both average at best. Vlad had a rocket arm but in the last half of his career became a real liability in the field because his knees were shot, most likely from playing on that shitty Expos artificial turf. They had arguably the worst synthetic grass surface in the history of baseball.

    If one isn't already aware of the ability of direct comparison between 2-4 players, here is the site that allows the user to do just that:

    https://stathead.com/tiny/AVTyC?utm_content=214561138&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&hss_channel=fbp-10515271761&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR0_Ag720J9XetaE9xXDdfkvBi_RJdaFHc4VNNkpOGCEvwHurmWgAEBVDTs_aem_K-WPy2H0EIwMapFyZIfGLA

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  16. Here is the direct comparison between the two players. Actually, Sheffield played longer than Vlad but not by that much.

    https://stathead.com/tiny/ETiNC

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  17. You're right, Carl, that Sheff played more years—but he didn't last longer from when the Yankees got him, in 2004 (the same year they could have had Vlad, instead).

    Sheffield was already 35 when the Yanks got him. He had two terrific seasons at the bat, posting OPS marks of .927, then .891, before getting badly hurt and missing all but 39 games of 2006. After that he was never the same player, never did much but DH. Sheff had a decent comeback year with Detroit in 2007, hitting 25 homers, but then batted .225, and played out the string with the Mets in 2009.

    Vlad Dad, on the other hand, was still just 29 in 2004. He hit .337 with the Angels, compiled an OPS of .989, and was named MVP. He hit over .300 for 5 of the last 7 seasons he played, never going below .290, and only once playing fewer than 141 games in a season.

    Vlad remained primarily a right fielder until 2009, and ran up OPS numbers of .989, .959, .934, and .950 in his first 4 years with the Angels.

    All in all, from the start of 2004 on, Vlad hit 226 homers and drove in 794 runs for the remainder of his MLB career. Sheff hit 130, and drove in 445 for the rest of his career. And while injuries slowed Vlad in the OF he did have that cannon of an arm, as you note.


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  18. In short, from the time when both players were available, to the end of their careers (2011 for Vlad, 2009 for Sheff), Vlad Guerrero, Sr., was simply a much better ballplayer.

    But that shouldn't have been a surprise, considering that he was 6 years younger. Somehow, it was for your New York Yankees.

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  21. When his name is mentioned, I see Shef standing at the plate, bat held high over his head, moving it rapidly back and forth like an excited metronome; a murderous glare on his face. In my mind's eye, I look up at the green monster, which is littered with little round dents from all the singles he mashed off that wall. He hit strikes hard and those fenway bruises were all from his bat, line drives that were still rising as they hit that ugly green paint.

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  22. Toronto has peaked. That ship has sailed. They’re in worse shape than we are. The clearance sale is starting…

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