The season isn't over, and it won't end this weekend, no matter what happens. Ya hear me? The Yankees could blow their next five straight, and they'll still be contenders for that vaunted last AL Wild Card kewpie slot. They're in the wild card race., and they're gonna stay there, dammitall! - at least through, say, mid-August.
Quit yer bellyachin! It's almost time for The Big Cashman Shakeup. Soon - like any minute now, the most successful Yankee GM in history, according to longevity, will obtain for us some Joey Gallo/Jose Abreu -type - a brawny star of 2019 - who has overstayed his welcome in some WWE hub, and who is waiting for a chance to flop in Gotham. To get him - or them - we'll trade a bunch of Single-A and Double-A nobodies, who, were yesterday's tomorrow, and who now never fitted into the Yankee strategic, long term picture.
Put your ears to the railroad tracks, and you'll hear the rumble of Cashman's giant spackle machine, rolling our way, as the GM seeks to stem this ongoing collapse, now approaching its eighth week.
Don't worry. Cashman will find enough Band-Aids to keep us in the wild card race. Remember: As long as you finish over .500, you've got a shot at that expanded playoffs lottery ticket. All you need is a Gallo and a dream...
Listen, there's something about watching a full Yankee matinee wipeout - like yesterday - when the only question is whether the opposing pitcher will throw a no-hitter. (Technically, that couldn't happen, because our first man up hit a double, before everyone went to sleep.) It makes you wonder how a franchise that spends so much money can be so wimpy... and why a year from now, we'll be writing the same posts about the same situation...
Nope. Move along. Seriously, today and tomorrow, what is there to see?
Statistically, we cannot lose this season, this weekend. But psychically - ah, yes, with a few dollops of self-torture - if we lose the next two to Tampa - crappy Tampa, who was out of the race two weeks ago - at home - in front of the Yankiverse... well, is there anything left to see?
We lost this season years ago.
ReplyDeleteTampa was out of it early in the season. Currently 10 1/2 games back of the Yankees. But by trade deadline, they'll be knocking on the back door. How can you make the playoffs if you're the worst team in your division??? Looks like my prediction was off. (I think I said 80-82.) They're going to bomb the rest of the way and finish well under .500. Hoss's gloomy prediction is going to hit the nail on the head.
ReplyDeleteCourtesy Deep Purple:
ReplyDeleteSweet Lucy was a dancer
But none of us would chance her
Because she was a Samurai
She made electric shadows
Beyond our fingertips
And none of us could reach that high
She came on like a teaser
I had to touch and please her
Enjoy a little paradise
The log was in my pocket
When Lucy met the Rockett
And she never knew the reason why
I can't deny it
With that smile on her face
It's not the kill
It's the thrill of the chase
Feel it coming
It's knocking at the door
You know it's no good running
It's not against the law
The point of no return
And now you know the score
And now you're learning
What's knockin' at your back door
I can't get over the awesomeness of those first few lines: sweet Lucy was a dancer/but none of us would chance her/because she was a samurai. In-cre-di-ble! And the only song that I know of that mentions cunnilingus.
ReplyDeleteSuzyn mentioned a leaked group text, including Sevy, yesterday. Looks like Sevy isnt lined up to pitch against our heroes this week. His old chums were ribbing him a little. "Afraid of us, huh?"
ReplyDeleteSevy's priceless reply..."Why? You only got two guys who can hit".
bitty...well done. Great observation.
ReplyDeleteYesterday’s game was an embarrassment. 10 groundouts in a row, all on 3 pitches or less? Hey, If you don’t want to play, fucking forfeit.
ReplyDeleteNow that I’ve brought you down, regarding going down? There are dozens of rap songs about going down. The best commonly played song about cunni? Love In An Elevator by Aerosmith
“Love in an elevator, living’ it up while I’m going doooown”
Personally, I prefer Bruce:
“Well listen up stud
Your life's been wasted
'Til you've got down on your knees and tasted
A red headed woman”
"She tells me it's easy
ReplyDeleteWhen you do it right
I know tonight
She comes"
- The Cars
Every boy wants a girl
ReplyDeleteHe can trust to the very end
Baby, that's you
Won't you wait until the end
I see lips beggin' to be kissed
(Stop)
I can't stop
(Stop)
I can't stop myself
Lightning is striking again
Lightning is striking again
And again and again and again
Lightning is striking again
Lightning is striking again
DJ is NOT in the starting lineup today...
ReplyDeleteThen who will spin our tunes?
ReplyDeleteGleyber, at half speed
ReplyDeleteHammer--the first single off the new Deep Purple album is useful in helping us create our own "portable doors" in order to escape the misery of whichever Yankee game we happen to be watching or listening to:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbwiEDD04CY
When it came to me one day in Jerksville
Man, I was right on the edge
And that jacket's too small for a man of your size
And those socks are too big for your head
My eyes glaze at whatever you say
I'm listening, do tell me more
It goes under the bridge, right over my head
And out through my portable door
I was trapped in a dire situation
Between reason and someone-in-law
The winner takes all and runs off with the ball
Nothing could pleasure me more
Times were, I'd have spoken my piece
For a minute or two held the floor
But I can't get a word in, so here I am hurtling
Right out through my portable door
The jabbering's hurting my brain cell so bad
For once in my life, I am bored
The public house beckons, I follow the call
Slip in through my portable door
The unlikely event came upon me
I wasn't prepared for the shock
Once 'round my neck and twice 'round the deck
And the rest disappeared up the block
So here we are, and everything's changed
Faster than ever before
You gotta be joking, man, what are you smoking?
Blow it out through my portable door
We were better without DJ. We are better without Rizzo. We would be better without Verdugo.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's very weird to say, but we were actually better without Cole. I have no idea why, but we were.
Meanwhile, over in Flushing, Setback Sevy is making his way up the ladder of consideration for a Cy Young award.
ReplyDeleteI've run out of expletives.
JM - you are correct, Sir.
ReplyDeletePlease head over to Central Services and collect an extra three rations of any items from categories five through eight.
“A steady hand mends an aching heart”
Nah-nah-nah-nah
ReplyDeleteNah-nah-nah-nah
Hey, hey, hey
Goodbye! (To the season)
The sweater pull will continue until we trade for some rag armed reliever from the White Sox.
Compare and contrast:
ReplyDeleteA:
Scott Effross was optioned to Triple A after finishing his rehab from Tommy John surgery and offseason back surgery. Even with a need in the Yankees’ bullpen, Boone said they want to see more from Effross before promoting him to the majors.
“We still want to see him get to that level where he was before the injury,” Boone said. “I don’t feel like he’s that far off from it.”
B:
DJ LeMahieu...is in the middle of an 0-for-17 slump with no signs of improvement, but Yankees manager Aaron Boone said they will continue to give the third baseman regular playing time.
“We got to keep running him out there,” Boone said. “He’s earned that. Where we are roster-wise, we have to give him the opportunity to unlock that. If we can do that, then obviously we know we’ve got a really good hitter on our hands. He’s going to continue to get opportunities here.”
Cashman wouldn't sign Gio, so I dunno about this idea from The Athletic:
ReplyDelete"How about a reunion with an old friend? Did you know that Kiner-Falefa would be the fourth-best hitter on the Yankees this season among all players with at least 100 plate appearances?
"Kiner-Falefa has split his time between third and second base, with some shortstop sprinkled in. The biggest difference for Kiner-Falefa, who’s having the best offensive season of his career, has been hitting the ball in the air more than ever.
"The Blue Jays are in sell mode. Cashing in on Kiner-Falefa’s best season would be the smartest move they could make. Kiner-Falefa was widely respected in the clubhouse during his two seasons with New York, and he enjoyed playing for the Yankees. Out of all the options who could be available and obtainable for a reasonable price, Kiner-Falefa may make the most sense."
Isn’t Ralph’s love child currently on the IL somewhere up in 2runt oh?
ReplyDeleteNo more Falafel, please. As I recall, he was not only a poor hitter, but someone who played a lot of different positions—most of them badly.
ReplyDeleteIf he's having "the best offensives season of his career," it's because he's not on the New York Yankees.
Great opening line, Bitty!
ReplyDeleteAnd games like yesterday's just kill me. Aww, it was hot? Aww, afternoon game after a night game? What can we expect to get out of you for a mere $10-20 million a year?
Horace, who would you rather see play second, IKF or Gleyber?
ReplyDeleteWho would you rather see play third, DJL, Cabrera, or IKF?
IKF is a decent fielder. It was only 3 years ago that he won a Gold Glove there so, obviously, he does play at least position very well.
Hammer....may I introduce you to Aerosmith's " Going Down In An Elevator"?
ReplyDelete[Catherine Epps}
"2nd floor. Hardware, children's wear, lady's lingerie
Oh, good morning Mr. Tyler. Going down?"
[Steven Tyler:]
"Hehehehehe, ooh
Yeah!"
AA...wasn't that sung by Lou Piniella and Chris Christie?
ReplyDelete@ Pocono Steve, Didn't even know DP put out a new album. Will check it out, thanks!
ReplyDelete@ BTR999 & Carl, Yeah, but do any of those songs contain the word "cunnilingus"? DP has it in the second verse to their song. Something about sweet Nancy and "a common cunning linguist, a master of many tongues". Okay, not exactly "cunnilingus", but it's close enough! And they left nothing to imagination or interpretation with that bit!
ReplyDeleteWith players like Austin Smells batting cleanup, Gleyber Suckass batting fifth, it certainly has.
ReplyDeleteBut how do you really feel?
ReplyDelete