Yeah, right.
If ever a win felt like one big, angry, hot, spicy - a crap-a-pineapple loss - this was that.
And if you believe the 2024 Yankees will go the distance, ride down the Canyon of Heroes, and avoid the bellicose deliriums of another early October exit, well, I need whatever you're smoking.
Listen: Braced by an incredible spring - a month of May that feels like a million years ago - the Yankees will almost surely make the 2024 postseason. You can only fall so far, so fast. But try to imagine this Edmund Fitzgerald bullpen taking the team anywhere beyond Oblivion. Do we really think Cardiac Clay Holmes can hold a one-run lead in Houston? Or at Fenway? Or even at home?
He overwhelms the first two batters - strikeouts - then up comes - um - the great Wyatt Langford.
Then comes Nathaniel Lowe. Yes, THE Nathaniel Lowe. Holmes gets ahead, an 0-2 count, then... walks him. OF COURSE HE DOES.
Tying runners on base. He goes to a 3-1 count against Adolis Garcia, is forced to throw a strike - and, of course, gives up a hit.
Tying run at third. Up comes Leody Taveras, who goes to a full-count before hitting a grounder to 2B, where - considering Gleyber's recent past, there is no such thing as a sure out. Gleyber almost bobbles it, but makes the play.
The Yankees frequently, and with considerable certainty, often put the SUCK in suckatood. I expecting the Booned Bombers to take two out of three in Chicago. One dominant win. One Squeaker and a painful loss. I am almost rooting for Chicago to sweep us - so long as Judge hits two or three more dingers.
ReplyDeleteLadies and Gentlemen — Our dearest leader is correct. We should consider altering the name from Bullpen to just Bullshit.
But I do feel bad for Holmes. Poor guy is going to need a few thousand hours of post baseball career therapy. Hitters should feel overmatched stepping into the batter’s box against a team’s closer. Every time Holmes takes the mound I know that’s he’s the one that’s overmatched.
Clay is in the last year of his contract. Don't think the Yanks will sign him or Torres or Soto or Rizzo...
ReplyDeleteThey definitely can’t sign them all - nor should they! Anyway, Hal hath said the payroll is too high, or as he put it in Steinspeak, “unsustainable”
DeleteWhat a surprise, the nepo baby leadership traded away two decent prospects for a nepo baby relief pitcher who has been mostly awful his entire career.
ReplyDeleteBut, hey! His daddy and uncle were Yankees! Whoopie! Nepo babies rule!
We still don't have a closer. Most of our starters are unreliable. Cortes is worse than that, he's terrible. And the bullshit/pen...Weaver is burned out, the new guys aren't that good. Then there's Gleyber.
ReplyDeleteHow can these guys even think they'll get to the World Series, much less win it?
Boone is an idiot. Cashman is incompetent. Hal is a disinterested nepo owner.
Yeah, we're going all the way. Down the toilet.
hahahaha…ranger_lp mentioned Rizzo…I forgot he’s on the team.
ReplyDeleteRizzo has been united up and in the dugout off and on for the past couple of months. He’ll be back sooner than later
ReplyDeleteWe all the Tidy-Bowl men, except we're rowing a Roman galley in that tank and there's no place to go.
ReplyDeleteThere was a reliever for Baltimore, Don Stanhouse, who used to go to 3-2 on every hitter and was always one pitch from blowing the save. Earl Weaver could barely watch and went through cigarette after cigarette when Stanhouse was pitching. Stanhouse's nickname became "Full Pack" because that's how many cigarettes Earl would smoke while Stanhouse was on the mound. Clay is worse than "Full Pack"--the significant difference being that Clay blows games backwards--- he starts with two strikes and then loses all command or confidence or whatever. No smoking is allowed at the Stadium, but if they got rid of that ban when Clay was on the mound the park would be enshrouded in smoke and the long lines wouldn't only be for the restrooms and the food, but for the iron lung installations.
ReplyDeletePERHAPS we catch lightning in a bottle with the guys on the DL who "should" be coming back. But it's a reach...
ReplyDelete