Thursday, October 24, 2024

Ex-Cubs Doom Yanks

As savvy statheads will avow,
To one certainty we all must bow:
No team can pocket World Series bank
With 3 or more ex-Cubs in its ranks.

It's analytics, not cant or mystery,
Proven throughout baseball history.
The prudent Dodgers, reviewing facts,
In August Jason Heyward axed.

Making a close Series even tighter,
The Yankees will field Mark Leiter,
Rizzo, Stroman and LeMahieu--
A daring display of bad juju.

With four ex-Cubbies on their squad,
Gotham thumbs its nose at the baseball gods.
Such hubris likely will not stand.
The crown will return to La-La Land. 


For more on this unbreakable baseball rule, which has proven correct in 1978 and 1981, to the Yankees' advantage and disadvantage, check out this article by the writer who coined the phrase, Ron Berler.


12 comments:

  1. I remember that article, AI! But...does it count if one of the ex-Cubbies is on the DL, and another one never pitches? Just asking for a friend.

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    Replies
    1. If he's pulling a check, the result is a wreck.

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  2. Absolutely brilliant, well, "bit" in response to the last post, Bitty! And I agree with our Peerless Leader: No Soto, no peace!

    I think—hope, pray—that Brian Cashman may have outfoxed himself here. By NOT bringing up and developing The Martian, he made it MORE likely that all the pressure will be on re-signing Soto.

    And yes, it had better fucking happen.

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    Replies
    1. Horace....re-signing Soto will never happen. Mark my words. It was never meant to happen, especially if they made it to the World Series. Since they have made it to the October Classic, the pressure is relieved on ownership and manaement for at least another 5 years-maybe closer to 10.

      Their plan, I think, was to see if Soto would make the difference for just this year. Then, play The Martian and Spenser Jones, the 2 budding stars aroud Aaron Judge. Management pays Stanton, Judge and Cole a combined 100 million plus bucks per year. There is no way on Earth that Hal will spend an additional 50-70 miilion each season. Remember, Steinbrenner was one of the owners voting to not raise the salary cap last year.If the going rate for soto is $ 60 million for 12 years, the Yankees will proclaim that they offered Soto as much as they could. A great salary with a chance to retire as a Yankee for 10 years at $ 55 million but he was too greedy and not respectful enough of Yankees history.

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  4. Wait...the Yankees are still playing baseball this time of the year? I vaguely remember this used to be a regular occurrence, but now? It must be a mistake. Or something out of Mr. Peabody's WABAC or even a episode of Dr. Who.

    It just can't be real, can it?

    On the other hand, I seem to remember the Cubs winning the world series once in my lifetime and that team had 26 Cubs on it. How was that possible?

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    Replies
    1. Simple. They were not EX-Cubs. On the flip side, the "Current Cub" rule still confounds physicists.

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  5. Excellent piece, Alabi. You should submit it to the NY Times for publication! Or the LA Times, if the owner allows it to be published.

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  6. Sadly, you may well be right, Carl Weitz. But I think The Martian's obvious unreadiness gives us some hope. And all the stupider, then, that Cashman did not trade for Soto when he was first available in 2022, which might have netted us another World Series.

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  7. So, Ike. I have to ask: were there any ex-cubs on the Cubs championship team? Any players who were dealt and came back?

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    Replies
    1. I will have to put it to the Cubs fans I know. We'll see if we get an answer.

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  8. So far, the best we can figure out is that Dexter Fowler left as a free agent after 2015, was signed by no one, and returned to the Cubs in the beginning of 2026. But that means only one ex-Cub was on the squad (it's very Cub-like to go unsigned as a free agent) , so the theory still stands.

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