Tuesday, October 29, 2024

O Captain, my Captain... for the 2024 Yankees, the end is near

O Captain! my Captain!
Our fearful trip is done,
The ship has sprung a thousand leaks,
The prize we sought is gone.

    The end is near, the drums I hear,
The bleachers steadily clearing,
The faithful weep; in sight, a sweep,
Juan Soto disappearing.

But o, Boone! Boone! Boone!
Bring gallon jugs of wine,
For deep on deck my Captain lies,
Struck out, oh for nine.

Close your eyes. It won't be long. Ignore the burning sensation. It will go away. Do you see the white light? Follow it. Soon, you will find peace.

Soon, this fever dream - 2024 - will be gone. You will feel no more pain. The Yankees will scatter, gone to homes and families, and cold winds will arrive. Your thoughts will turn to gardening, or stamp-collecting, whatever people do after their team has been swept. 

Yes, I know, I know... a tiny voice inside you wants to fight, to rage against the darkness. Do not succumb to this. Somewhere, far away, in a happier universe, the Yankees will win four straight, resetting the Curse of the Bambino after 20 desperate years, retaking the world from Dave Roberts and Jose Altuve and - oh, god - Boston, horrible Boston. Dream of being in that place. It exists, somewhere out there, I truly believe this - just not here.

Nope. After tonight, all we'll have are Boone's certainty that Aaron Judge showed some good swings in his final at-bat, and appears ready to snap out of his slump, any day now. 

After tonight, all we will have are photographs of Juan Soto in a Yankee cap, as he prepares to join the Dodgers, or the Padres, or the Mets, or Toronto - or whatever team is willing to shell out for a future Hall of Fame outfielder. Ah, but we will have Caleb Durbin, who hit .287 at Scranton, and looks like a solid candidate to replace Gleyber!

After tonight, it will be over. So let me print for the last time in 2024, the best juju we had in an unfriendly time. Tonight, this is who we face.

29 comments:

  1. This is the most disengaged I have ever been while watching a team I've rooted for my entire life. Almost as disengaged as the players themselves.

    They are the team we knew they were. A .500 team full of players that can't master the fundamentals and a manager that thinks that's OK.

    Last night when Verdugo hit the HR, Judge could bearly crack a smile.

    Sad.

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  2. Unless the Twins are their opponent, the Yankees should boycott any future WS

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  3. I am actually driving around upstate today. It just makes me sad. It also proves that any idiot team can make the playoffs, even if they don’t deserve it. I will be a Yankee fan for life, but as long as Brianna and Boone, I’m not gonna be that interested. I will come here for the fellowship and because I may need to rant, but I’m getting so tired of this, I don’t even know if I need to rant anymore. It’s exhausting year after year.

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  4. I wish I could edit. Siri fucks me every day and it doesn’t feel good

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  5. Boone is incompetent.

    Judge is terrible.

    Rodon is a joke.

    Cashman is an arrogant idiot.

    Hal is rich beyond your or my wildest dreams and will always be so.

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  6. It's a virus and it's spreading:

    "Giants quarterback Daniel Jones had a rare angry outburst after a failed fourth-quarter two-point conversion in which none of the blockers blocked, simply watching Jones throw the ball."

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  7. Yes, this Yankee’s season should go down in flames tonite. This season was a “fever dream”, well described. If we re-sign Gleyber Torres, I will disavow any knowledge of this franchise and only root for the team of my college years, THE Reading Phillies.

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  8. Good move. Over the years I've found following the day to day efforts of a particular minor league team...in this case the RailRiders of Northeastern Pennsylvania...much less stressful than following the big club. Stakes are low, you root for everybody, and in my case, just enough info about the big club's fortunes seep through. Just for awareness. Healthy alternative.

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  9. Headline from MLB.com:

    "Rodón available despite blister"

    Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

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  10. Losing a postseason series is one thing.

    Losing a postseason series while your $360M captain etches his choker status in stone for the rest of his life is another thing.

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  11. Don’t pee on your Sister
    You’ll get such a blister
    If you Giuliani kiss her
    Whilst playing Twister
    MISTER!

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    Replies
    1. Hey, isn't it Haiku Tuesday? Or is that cancelled in anticipation of getting our heads handed to us tonight?

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    2. It is indeed and it shall be published in just over an hour, JM.

      Delete
  12. Just try to accept the loss with as much grace as possible, I guess…. but it gets hard to do so year after year, and now with a tumultuous off season to come.

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  13. Judge looked like his timing is getting better. Earlier in the series, he could only manage a pop fly to right, amidst all his strikeouts. Yesterday, he finally hit a legit fly ball. Some people thought it was gone, but I saw that he got under it. But hey, baby steps!

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  14. Nestor Cortes had a re-match with Ohtani and, this time, pitched to Mookie Betts. Once again, he got Ohtani out (who looked significantly compromised). He also got Betts. Makes you wonder what might have been had he pitched to Betts in Game 1, instead of trying to get out their best hitter with the bases loaded. Doesn't matter now, of course. They're gonna get swept.

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  15. Doug, I do not remember seeing the Yankees score any runs. I must've fallen asleep for the 9th. Thought the final score was 4-0. Missed the Vertigo 2 run homer. That seals it for Cashman, Vertigo will be here for the next ten years. It's too bad he hit that homer. Makes it look like it was a tight game. What a joke!

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  16. nothing gold can stay
    Soto is weighing options
    hope Boone goes also

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  17. When he took Cole out after 88 pitches I knew the series was over.

    Instead of managing in the moment Boone manages for a future moment he imagines because he's always a step ahead of everyone else in the game. Tim Hill? - that's an amateur move. The smartest man in the room knows Nestor Cortes is the move before the move.

    Fifteen years, for this.

    Beside having Boone and not having Soto next year the worst part is seeing Aaron Judge's tiny baseball pecker. I'll never look at him the same way again.

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    Replies
    1. I'm with you, Mildred. Judge will never be a big hero to me now. He's great against the riff raff of baseball, but sucks against the teams you meet in the playoffs. That is not heroic, at all.

      Choke artist. It was bad enough that he didn't hit in the clutch. Now we know he's just another head case. Damn, that's a shame.

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  18. AA, I don't want to piss on anyone's sister. I'm a Democrat.

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  19. ALL OF THE EXCUSES ABOUND. iF THEY COULD WIN ONE AND THEN TWO AND PUSH IT BACK TO LA. This group of Yankees lack whatever it is...there is talent so it must be guts. Unfortunately that begins with our beloved and disappearing Captain.

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  20. Using a random number generator to frame a narrative. Except the numbers aren't random.

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  21. Come along a baby, whole lotta of Judge bashing goin' on.

    He deserves it, but I'll say this: it ain't any different than a boxer coming out for a big fight and being wound up too tight. So he's gotta relax and just let "it" happen. A better, smarter approach sure would help too. I wanna see some balls barreled up and line drives. Enough with the big swings trying to hit moonshots. See the ball, hit the ball. Simple and easy, eh?

    There is a book called "Zen in the Martial Arts" by Joe Hyams. Someone give millionaire Aaron Judge a copy, please.

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  22. The Tao of Pooh is a 1982 book written by Benjamin Hoff.

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  23. I just want to outlive HAL. I want him dead and in a box or an urn and live to see it.

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