Thursday, October 3, 2024

Pete Rose Won't Get in the Hall

 To the tune of that old Poison song

That Charlie Hustle had more hits
No one can deny
With that Dorothy Hammill haircut
We'd watch that face-first slide

He was one of the sparks of the Big Red Machine
Putting a little down on the side
Then he lied about it all
How he lied
That's why it's clear

Pete Rose won't get in the hall
Ain't no chance of it at all
Just like Shoeless Joe won't get the commissioner's call
Pete Rose won't get in the hall

He signed Rule 21 at the start of every year
It read "No Gambling" but some of that wasn't clear
I guess he didn't hear
Thought he could lead the team
But his ears worked right
When he asked at night, "You swear that you're 16?"

Pete Rose won't get in the hall
Ain't no chance of it at all
Just like Shoeless Joe won't get the commissioner's call
(Not just 'cuz they're dead)
Pete Rose won't get in the hall


(And don't get me started on Tucupita Marcano)


31 comments:

  1. Nice poem! And just so no one misses my every mighty utterance:

    Yeah, I was commenting on Mr. Sanchez yesterday, JM. The announcers said that Sancho was the third fastest major leaguer EVER to 100 home runs, then mentioned that he supposedly had an 80—the highest possible scout ranking—for his arm.

    Then they sort of stopped talking, as if embarrassed. Yeah, guys, we couldn't figure it out, either.

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  2. Higgy also gloved the final out, despite tripping over his first baseman. Nice play. Not the sort we make. I watched parts of all four Wild Card games yesterday, and what struck me most was how younger, more athletic, and better in the field most of these teams were than your New York Yankees.

    I think KC in three, as well, wrapping it up back in their home park. This Yankees team is too old and too incompetent to do anything.

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  3. Every time someone brings up Sanchez, I remember seeing him in the Arizona Fall League in what seems like another century. The guy was electric. Hit for power, cannon arm, he had it all. And then the boy fell into a well. Baffling.

    I also took note of IKF successfully manning the hot corner down in San Diego. There are the makings of a pretty fair team of former Yankees out there that The Intern didn't think highly of; that he still has a job is even more baffling.

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  4. I have seen more than one writer make reference to worse behavior than just gambling. One writer went so far as to imply that Rose was a pedophile and that that was at least part of the reason for never lifting the ban. No idea if it's true.

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    1. There was also his haircut . . .

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    2. He was just trying to emulate Moe Howard.

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    3. I hated him when he played, for beating the Yankees and for Ray Fosse. Howevah, I've said for 20 years he belongs in the HOF. But if he's a diddler, I change my mind. That's a twofer, and not in the identical twins sorta way.

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  5. He may not get into the Hall, but he has a good shot at sliding headfirst into hell.

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    Replies
    1. would he be wearing oven mitt then . . . you know, uh . . . to protect his hands

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  6. The mutts not looking too good right now...

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  7. Another ex Yankee with a major contribution 😒

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  8. Lindor up now in the 9th—has the only two hits for the Metsies...

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  9. And he walks! Is there a rally in their bones???

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  10. Nimmo with a one-out hit! Men on first and third! And the Polar Bear coming up!

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  11. The Mets are living a charmed life.

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  12. Relievers' ability to throw strikes is the defining variable of playoff baseball.

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  13. I would take a subway series if it happens.

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  14. So first, this is just good, period. Great comeback by a gutsy team. You gotta give 'em their props. Beyond that, good to see ANY New York team win ANYTHING in the postseason. Beyond that, it keeps alive the idea of a Subway Series—faint, but still possible. Beyond THAT, it makes it all the more likely that Steve Cohen will have to re-sign Alonso...and leave Soto the fuck alone.

    Just saying.

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  15. I can see it now. Yankees lose a boring, ugly, frustrating series to KC in 4 while Mets and Phillies play a 5 game classic that captivates America.

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  16. And in terms of juju, I think the Brewers' karma changed when that asshole in the front row tried to stick his arm out there and distract Alonso when he was going after that foul in the ninth. Hey, hedge-fund dick, sit down and let the pros play. I swear, juju never sleeps.

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    Replies
    1. Great observation! And juju never sleeps is banner worthy!

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  17. "Juju never sleeps." Thank you, Hoss...

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  18. I keep meditating on "Juju Never Sleeps" and think it should be a sub--header or a post of its own. I may start ranting soon and frothing at the mouth before long.

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