2. No more tarps to cover sections of empty bleachers.
3. Hateful Rays can pretend to be Tampa Tarpons, Yank farm club.
4. Right field porch, contoured to Yankee Stadium, will boost Ben Rortvedt HR numbers.
5. No more jarring, relentless, dome-echoed sound effects. (You're welcome, Suzyn!)
6. Eventually, Rays will discover Cashman's secret LADIES room peephole.
7. Grass. (Does it actually grow in summer?)
8. End to ground-rule doubles off ceiling catwalks.
9. Extra incentive: If Rays win world series, Hal will shoot self.
10. Rays rent only $15 million, less than a Marcus Stroman.
11. Rays get home team shower, only one that works.
12. Players remain within 80-minute drive to Gomorrah: Sarasota.
13. At last, something to do in Tampa between hurricanes.
For whatever it's worth, I'm glad the Yankees are doing the right thing. But couldn't they require that the Rays, after each win, play "New York, New York?"
🙏🏼
ReplyDeleteIf Tampa does get into the playoffs, and maybe make the World Serious (as my dad used to call it), would MLB allow postseason games to be played at Steinbrenner Field?
ReplyDeleteI'd guess no, but it could be a very interesting promotional opportunity for the Scrooges of MLB.
We have not mentioned that Prince Hal field has the exact dimensions as the field at the Stadium, so the Rayguns will be getting practice on how to play us forevermore. I know this is a point verging on meaninglessness, but I'm just trying to find sorrow in the midst of sorrow.
ReplyDeleteWhat's their rat turd count compared to the Stadium?
DeleteNever buy sushi at a ballpark. Just my word of advice.
JM - would it be alright to purchase the ballpark sushi but not eat it? (Asking for a friend that I would give it to)
DeleteOh, well, that sounds perfectly fine, AA.
DeleteIt’s really impressive, but they have found a way to keep track of the rat turd count and both stadiums always have the same levels, within a small margin of error.
DeleteIt's good to know they are upholding major league standards for the Tarpons. The turtle soup team.
DeleteNever buy sushi at a ballpark. Just my word of advice.
DeleteI have a related personal practice: I only eat stadium hot dogs on Opening Day. It's the only day you can be sure they were boiled in freshly changed water.
They will probably tailor the roster to maximize the dimensions and win the division because they are, what's the word? Oh yeah, competent.
ReplyDeleteWhy are we doing anything to help a division rival. I say kick ‘em when they’re down.
ReplyDelete"Nov 15: Soto has 'productive' 3-hour meeting with Red Sox (report)"
ReplyDeleteBoston would be the cruelest outcome.
To quote a sad statement that we have seen way too much of for the last decade, “the cruelty is the point.”
DeleteBoone on Stroman:
ReplyDelete“He’s someone that helped us this past year, and we certainly have plans for him to help us next year,” Cashman said. “We’re certainly counting on him.”
How do you post a 'laughing hysterically' GIF here?
I just had a disturbing thought: Will the tabled "ghosts" and "mystique" and "aura" of Yankee Stadium appear during Rays games?
ReplyDeleteOnly in Yes-Mo
DeletePerhaps the Rays Just bought us Soto 🙄
ReplyDeleteI am nonplussed.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete#6 on Duque's list killed me. #9 is something to hope for.