Hey, it's a helluva bridge. In continuous operation for over 141 years. At its opening, the longest suspension bridge in the world. Celebrated in verse and song, admired by millions the world over. And it can be yours! Cheap! Just contact B. Cashman and Associates, c/o Yankee Stadium, for the deal of a lifetime.
Gee, what a coincidence: just as the bidding for Juan Soto heats up, sportswriters across New York begin to think of the incredible team your New York Yankees could put together with the same money that Soto wants. I wonder what inspired them? Hmm, let me think...
So when was the last time this happened? Let's think back, back, back—room starts to go wavy on the TV screen, characters begin to look much younger—to the last time something like this happened. Why, it was...all of last year!
The Yankees—if you can possibly recall anything that far back—were in a desperate struggle to come in second in the bidding for Yoshinobu Yamamoto (a bid they would tragically lose, finishing third at best). Suddenly, all sorts of suggestions began to spring up from the laptops of our local Knights of the Press Box about how the Yanks didn't need Yamamoto at all! No, sir! They could use that money to build a much better staff!
Why, they could sign Blake Snell! Or—this was my favorite—they could "supercharge" (or was it "supersize"?) the bullpen, by signing every available, first-rate, free-agent reliever out there.
Instead, we got Marcus Stroman.
Wow, who does that remind you of?
But I'm being unfair. Let's step into our hot tub time machine and go back, back, to the last time Brian Cashman let a Yankee star go so he could rebuild the team with all the money he saved.
The time was the 2013-14 off-season. The departing star was Jogginson Cano. And the replacements that were going to bring the Yankees over the top were...Carlos Beltran; Jacoby Ellsbury, The Man of Iron; and the two other Brians, McCann and Roberts.
Uh, yah.
Now, all of a sudden, the Yankees can easily let Juan Soto walk, because we're going to pick up, oh, so many stars. Anthony Santander and Willy Adames and Christian Walker and Tanner Scott! Oh my, how many beamish boys!
All of them—except for Adames, who is 29—on the wrong side of 30. All of whose careers have been veritable yo-yos. All hitters who strikeout in bushels and don't walk all that much; who rarely hit over .250 and sometimes as low as .217. And Tanner Scott, who has now put in two straight, good years—after two wretched seasons right before that.
Yeah, can't wait. Joey Galloway redux. And the ducks would probably hit better.
Look, the time to decide on re-signing Juan Soto was BEFORE they dealt a first-rate starter and three prospects who helped the Padres grab Dylan Cease. Not now. And the biggest pile of mediocrities in the world isn't going to make it better.
Is it possible that Soto won't work out? That's he'll get hurt, or that the Yankees won't win a ring even with Soto and Judge, the way the Angels didn't with Ohtani and Trout?
Yep. Things could happen. Life is full of risks.
But I bet most Angels fans were at least glad to see those guys in their prime. And with Soto, there is the chance of seeing greatness, every game, at Yankee Stadium.
Or put it this way: who among us can remember Brian Cashman ever putting together a world championship team on his own? I mean, one on which the core was not built by his predecessors?
C'mon, let's see a show of hands. Yeah, I didn't think so.
But maybe we can still get in on that bridge deal...
OK, touché and point taken, but we are all broken souls here, ruined Yankee fans, and ready to surrender logic to shivering fever dreams of cat piss pouring out of the marble statue of Cashman’s face over by Gate 4. We will grab the intellectually easy way out, the spineless genuflection towards Lord Hal. We don’t believe it, but we are exhausted.
ReplyDelete....the super slumber beckons us all...
ReplyDeleteStand firm, men! Stand firm, dammit! Demand the superstar returneth, or we will never see one again!
ReplyDeleteI just chuckled out loud, Hoss. Thank you for that. You have my permission for dessert after dinner tonight.
DeleteAnd again: it's highly unlikely we'd even get what we've been "promised." Don't take my word for it, see Andy Martino's book, The Yankee Way, for their reaction when the Yanks thought that Judge was gone. The front office wandered aimlessly back and forth at the winter meetings, talking about maybe getting Brandon Nimmo.
ReplyDeleteWhich I think were Eliot's original lines in Prufrock: "In the rooms the execs come and go/ Talking of Brandon Nimmo."
noooo sotoooo no peeeeace….
ReplyDeleteBravo Horace! Well stated. Genius Cashman had become adept at pissing on our collective heads and telling us that it is raining. Not so at putting together championship teams. Yet, brilliant Hal keeps him around.
ReplyDeleteMemo to Hal: If the Yankees were better - much better - at developing their own talent, assessing other people's talent, learning to read medical reports and not breaking their ballplayers like breadsticks, they wouldn't need to pay premium prices every year for free agents. We know you dream of having a KC Royals payroll, but you're GM can't produce a championship with 10 times that money.
ReplyDeleteOf course, none of this applies to Soto, who is a generational talent and who proved his worth over and over last year.
But it does apply in spades to the Yankees incompetent leadership, scouting, development, training and (most of all) analytical staff.
And, yeah, that includes you, Hal! Sign Soto. No excuses. And for every other FA you overpay for, glare at your incompetent staff and know they are the reason you are reaching into your wallet to bail them out.
Horace, if the Yankees had a loaded farm system or a core of "can't miss" young, up the middle players like Baltimore than I'd say 'roll the dice'. But we have, essentially, a Yankees team circa 1986. We pay all that money for Soto and we'll regret it. Not now, but soon, and for the rest of our lives (strange flash of deja' vu).
ReplyDelete